2007-02-16

This stupid needs fixed.

And I'm not talking repaired. I'm talking fixed.

As I'm scrolling through my morning news, stumble upon the story of a a 24-year-old woman in Western Pennsylvania who gave birth in the parking lot of a hospital.

After reading the full article, I think 'gave birth' is the wrong way to frame this story.

As she got to the hospital, she stood up to get out of the car, and the baby apparently fell out of her uterus into the leg of her sweatpants.

Now I'm no gynecologist ... nor would I ever want to be (well, maybe just for a couple of hours with some selected patients, but that's another story), and my daughter was born c-section ... but I've seen births on television (Discovery Health) and heard the horror stories about how difficult it is to squeeze a full-term baby out of an opening that - in most women - isn't that big normally, but is elastic enough when needed.

But honestly - how big a hole do you have to have for a nearly six pound baby (5 pounds, 15 ounces) to just fall out of you?

"It happened so fast," Rebecca Johnson, 24, told the Daily Courier in Connellsville. "I didn't know what happened until he was in my pant leg."

Damn. That baby-daddy probably had to strap a board to his ass so he didn't get lost. (And yes, her name is Johnson, baby's last name is Parkinson, so baby-daddy is the appropriate term.)

Now standing by itself, her quote of "I didn't know what happened until he was in my pant leg" makes this story damn funny.

Then you read a bit further down the story and find out that is is her FOURTH child.

FOURTH.

So apparently, she has been through the process before - she should know what happens.

Yeah, like I said, this stupid needs fixed. Like tubes tied fixed. Damn.

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