Ladies, let the beat down begin ...

A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of a magic lamp sitting on his desk.

"And what will your third wish be?" the genie asked.

The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"

"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus,you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left."

"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I've always wanted to understand women. I'd love to know what's going on inside their heads."

"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever, "That was your first wish, too!"

Again, I *AM* Indie Rock Pete

see more hipster robot webcomics and pixel t-shirts


(darn blogger layout ... click to see full size ... and yes, you're welcome!)

Rock On, Natalie Dee

nataliedee.com

Dating Sites Don't Get Me

The latest example ... a woman in my age/distance wheelhouse looking for someone, in her words, humorous.

My response:

I have a humerus... does that count?

Her response:

What's a humerus?


*SIGH* even the womens wanting funny don't get me.

I'd be a monk if I had faith.

Random Wonderings, part 65

(BTW, the 65 is a random number. I stopped counting.)

I've not spent more than a couple of hours in Yonkers, NY, but I read somewhere in addition to no parking zones, they have no standing zones. WTF? And yes, it is a ticket-able offense to stand in a no-standing zone. And the fine for standing in a no-standing zone is being increased to $70.

I love reading the USAToday (known in the biz as McPaper because of they way they've dumbed down journalism). They are a classic example of how stupid a culture we've become, and how well they either mock us, or enable us to remain dumb. Now they're just trying to scare the fun right out of Halloween. Fuckers.

New NBA Season starts today ... and for the 41st consecutive year, I don't care.

A 19-year-old Norwegian is the World Champion of Monopoly. Damn socialist. Oh, he's a recent graduate of the Oslo Private Gymnasium school. (Wait, WHAT?) ... oh, and he beat a Russian for the title. Damn commies. (For the record, last time an American won ... 1974.) Monopoly, by the way, is banned in Cuba and North Korea.

And finally ... proof that some women will do damn near anything for shoes ... while hundreds died in recent flooding in the Philippines ... Imelda Marcos' shoes were not among them. Despite the fact she has pending graft charges still being fought out in court.

Broken Record, Track 7 - Windows 7 rocks

I hate to keep sounding like a broken record about how amazing Windows 7 is ... but check this out:

I just downloaded the new NVidia Graphics Drivers for my 512mb Video Card ... and didn't have to restart to apply the current (and proper) Windows 7 Driver so I can have my 1680 x 1050 native resolution on my 22" widescreen LCD.

Can anyone out there remember EVER changing a video driver in Windows and NOT having to reboot? Hell, you used to have to reboot when changing screen resolutions.

Yeah. Windows 7. It rocks.

Don't hate me because I'm Nerdiful

There are lots of other reasons to hate me :P

A Day In The Life of Manny Malhotra

So as I'm perusing the channel lineup (online, that is) for what tier of service I want to buy for cable at the new place (move-in date 9/15); I'm struck realizing for two channels, alone, I have to go with the whole package.

What two channels? The NHL Network and the NFL Network.

Yep, if they don't screw you with the ticket prices, they'll get ya with the TV stuff.

Oh well, I'll watch the hell out of both of those channels, so to me, they're worth the extra price level.

The NFL is a given ... but damn am I looking forward to the NHL network. Hockey, 24-7-365. Hell to the yes.

I mean, outside of the classic series and classic games and old-time hockey (Can I get a shout of Eddie Shore?), today I'd so watch "A Day In The Life of Manny Malhotra" ... formerly of the Columbus Blue Jackets. (Yes, it's a real show.)

I've not seen the show, but based on the fact training camp invites have been sent to several of his peers, he remains an unrestricted free agent with a telephone that's not ringing, it might go something like this:

"Hi. It's 6:30. I'm Manny Malhotra of the Please-Some-GM-Offer-Me-A-Contracts. I'm a pretty good center. By that I mean the freaking Blue Jackets let me walk away. So it's September, I should be in training camp, but here I am, sitting by the phone."

We cut to the kitchen. Manny is eating some Wheaties. They are the breakfast of champions. One has to admire his optimism. From the left, Mrs. Manny (Joanna, sister of Steve Nash ... for reals) appears. She sits down and pours a bowl. She asks Manny to pass the milk. He misses her hand by about 18 inches, and watches as the milk falls to the table, but somehow, doesn't spill.

You hear a door open. A man wearing a Red Wings jersey walks briskly through the kitchen, not even looking as Manny stands up. The stranger grabs the milk off the table. He slaps Manny in the chops when Manny says "Hey, that's my milk" but never slows down, nor drops the milk.

Manny and Mrs. Manny watch the guy walk away. Mrs. Manny hands her hubby a towel. He sits back down holding it up to his bleeding mouth. Nothing is said about him refusing to challenge his neighbor to a fight, or defend his honor, or get his milk back. Apparently, that's as common at home as a defender stealing the puck, slapping him in the shin and skating away is on the ice.

His wife looks at him. Says "Hey, since I can't eat dry cereal, can you at least put the bowl in the sink?" She watches as Manny walk slowly across the kitchen, all alone, and drops the bowl on the floor, missing a wide-open sink despite having no defense or goalie in the way. Again, his wife looks on as if this is nothing out of the ordinary.

Manny then trips on the hardwood floor as he turns around. Shaking his head, he stands up, looks around for a phantom call from the ref, then heads back to the living room. He sits at the end of his couch, next to the phone.

Which still isn't ringing.

"I don't get it. I was drafted in the first round by the New York Friggin' Rangers. And now the Blue Jerkits won't even sign me?" Sigh.

(Fade)

Hell yeah. I'd watch the shit out of that show. But you Blue Jackets fans saw that all last season ... didn't ya?

Youngstown Style Pizza

Yep ... hit Jimmy's today for lunch.

This, my friends, is a $2 piece of Youngstown pizza.


And yes, that's a full-size Nature Valley granola bar.

A Break for the Home Team?

So back about a year ago I replaced the dead Icey with Ivy ... a 2001 Pine Green Saturn SL2 that came complete with a two-year, 24,000 mile warranty. Well, I said, that should just about keep covered for a year, based on how I drive.

Then ... I started my new (old) job and was finding myself driving to and from Cincinnati or Youngstown once a week, racking up the miles.

Then last week my car nearly overheated ... I looked ... and WOAH ... radiator was nearly empty. So I chuck in some fluids ... didn't notice a leak, but with it being summer and running the AC ... who really knows if that's condensed water or not as you pull out of the parking lot, eh?

So this week, now that the 95% of my stuff is moved, I decided to take the car to the shop and hope I still had some warranty left. Or at least enough that they could charge me $35 to tell me what was wrong so I could struggle through fixing it, or call on friends who could fix it in their sleep.

Turns out, in a stunning break for the home team, I'm still within 2,500 miles of the end of my warranty, so PERHAPS I'm covered. I say perhaps because it's a limited warranty. Limited to drive components, engine, transmission, that kind of big stuff.

So with trepidation I dropped the car off at the dealer this morning, and lo and behold they call me with the news that it's not a leaky radiator, nor a blown hose, but the water pump that's all jacked up.

Hmmm ... water pump ... water pump ... sounds expensive.

NO! In yet ANOTHER STUNNING DEVELOPMENT, the water pump is one of the few items that's covered under my limited warranty and they'll be done fixing it in about two hours.

Oh, and it won't cost me a DIME!

YAY! I caught a break. In fact, I've caught several this week ... work stuff has gotten significantly less stressful and I'm finally mostly moved and know I won't have much left ... and all my stuff fit into my storage unit.

Oh, and I'm going to look at house next week ... so things are looking up in my world.

Finally.