2010-11-26

Song Of The Day

Since I've been kind of on a sad-bastard run lately ... it's time to shake things up.  Just saw this band on Wednesday and it really shook me out of the mood I've been in lately ... so enjoy some happiness, my friends!

"The Best Is Yet To Come"
~ Watershed


I know sometimes it seems we're slowing down to a stop
We don't know where we're going or appreciate what we've got
I've got a cheap guitar and a yard sale amp
All beat up, nothing broke just yet
And we both know, we're overdue, for some luck
And I got a feeling the best is yet to come

Suppose I figured out the whole damn thing a couple hours ago
It don't really matter where you've been
It's more about where you are going
The bad news is, you really messed up
But the good news is, we can fix things up
And I ain't buying that the good old days are done
And I got a feeling the best is yet to come
Take it on the chin wonderin' what might have been
We could blow it off
Maybe drink it off
And spend some time together... right

Don't forget they didn't knock you out
You're just sitting in a corner bleeding from your mouth
Still got a feeling, the best is yet to come

2010-11-25

Alone On Thanksgiving, By Design

[ PREFACE:  This is not a passive/aggressive blog post aimed at getting me invited to holiday dinners at random people's houses / family events / commercial buffets, so please don't take it that way. It's merely a single guy reflecting on why sometimes he enjoys being single and alone for the holidays ... and why sometimes he doesn't. Get it? Got it? Good.]

My parents divorced when I was four.  I have one older sister who was six, and a baby sister who was months old about the time the split happened, as far as I remember.

My Mom's parents were together for 55 years until her mom died in 1993.

My Dad's parents divorced before I was born. So I always had three sets of grandparents.  And two sets of parents.

And a fiance and/or girlfriend from the time I was 15.

So that made four, five or six destinations for holidays like Thanksgiving.  Depending on if my mom was with someone or not.

And I got so fucking tired of having to be at Point A and Time 1 and Point B and Time 2 and Point C and Time 3 and so on and so on ... when I became an adult, I picked on place to go every year and said screw the rest.

As a 42-year-old, with an ex-wife, two sets of parents, four family units and various friends to visit on holidays such as this ... I choose to stay home, or go hit some restaurant offering a buffet. I put on the iPod, grab some reading material, and do my best to avoid every other single person on the planet while I project, in my head, the perfect Thanksgiving Dinner.

When I was three.

When my parents still were together.

When we were at my mom's parent's house.

Eating a traditional turkey/stuffing/potatoes/veggies dinner with pumpkin pie.

With Lions football on the TV.

With no need to leave and go anywhere.

No expectations to be anywhere else.

Eat any else's food.

Just one table. One meal. One family.

That's why I like to eat alone. I can still pretend to be there.

The only thing better than that was Thanksgiving with the mother of my daughter when we were dating/married. She always cooked up one hell of a feast. People came to us. Eventually, my mom and sister started coming to eat with us. After we divorced, I still went there because it was comforting to go one place for one meal with people I didn't fear or mistrust or worry about the ridicule that would eventually come.

For many years after we divorced, I still went out there. Even after she remarried and moved. Her new hubby and I get along great. He understood my issues. He was cool with me being there. He and I get along great.

Now they live 8 hours away. And between our work schedules, they're going out for dinner, and I can't make the trip. And I have no desire to have fish and lasagna in a non-traditional setting like my family is having.

So I'm back to drawing blanks.

Sure, I've had offers, including some from great friends here who will read this and wonder why I said no ... but trust me ... my saying no isn't an insult to you ... it's more me knowing I'd rather be alone, or in a big room of people I don't know and remain anonymous, than be the stranger to most at your dinner tables forced to answer questions as to why I'm alone at 42, and why I really don't want to spend the holiday with my nuclear family, in the three, four or five locations they gather.

And that's my call ... please don't feel slighted, and please don't judge me. I do what's good for me. I have to.

Sometimes, I just like being anonymous and silent and under the radar.  It hurts less.

Song Of The Day

Sent out to nobody in particular. If you think this song is about you ... enjoy that total eclipse of the sun.



"This Town"
~ Elvis Costello

That Charlie Sedarka was a playing the piano
Like he was pawing a dirty book
He bit a hole in his big bottom lip
And gave his very best little boy look
And it was a song with a topical verse which I'm
Afraid he then proceeded to sing
Something about the moody doomed love of
The fish finger king

Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd
Nobody 'til everybody in this town
Knows you're poison
Got your number knows it must be avoided
I think nobody 'til everybody in this town
Thinks you're a bastard

Mr. Getgood moved up to self-made man row
Although he swears that he's the salt of the earth
He's so proud of the kick-me-hard sign that
They hung on his back at birth
Well he said "I appreciate beauty
If I have one, then it's my fault
Beauty is on my pillow
Beauty is there in my vault"

Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd
Nobody 'til everybody in this town
Knows you're poison
Got your number knows it must be avoided
I think nobody 'til everybody in this town
Thinks you're a bastard

The girl with the eternity rock
Went down on her bookie to buy some stock
Now all her signs in the shopping arcades say
'The corporation thief is The New Jesse James'
Her clothes and her attention were scant
Her eyes were everywhere, her eyes were like absinthe
The little green figures that dance on his screen
Say, "Everything you want to hear and nothing they mean"

They made love while she was changing her dress
She wiped him off, she wiped him out and then she made him confess
A little amused by the belief in her power
You must remember this it was the fetish of the hour

Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd
Nobody 'til everybody in this town
Knows you're poison
Got your number knows it must be avoided
I think nobody 'til everybody in this town
Thinks you're a bastard

Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd
Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd
Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd

2010-11-20

Song Of The Day

Julie Roberts - Unlove Me

Unloose this hold you've got on me
Unlock this heart that can't get free
Unlive the night you kissed and hugged me
Undream the dreams that we both shared
Unfeel the feelin' that you cared
Before you leave me, please unlove me

Unlove me
Unmake all the memories I can't forget
Unlove me
Let me go back to the way I was before we met

Back to the days when I was strong
When it wasn't sad to be alone
When I was happy-go-lucky
And I didn't know how good it felt
To hold you and feel my heart melt
Show me a little mercy and unlove me

Unlove me
Untie all the strings between your heart and mine
Unlove me
But do it real slow, so I don't have to lose you all at one time

Before you pack your bags and leave
One thing I wish you'd do for me
Take a little time to just unlove me

Unlove me
Unmake all the memories I can't forget
Unlove me
Let me go back to the way I was before we met

Unloose this hold you've got on me
Unlock this heart that can't get free
Before you leave me, please unlove me
Show a little mercy and unlove me




I do love me some country music ... not quite sure where I stumbled upon her but I'm shocked she's not done better ... must be the name, eh?

2010-11-11

Song of the Day

Bowling For Soup
A-Hole

When I came home my stuff was on the lawn
I thought she was happy, but I was wrong
The note she left it took me by surprise
Said I’ve turned into, some other guy
The things she said that she gave up for me
She says it was a waste of her time

Guess I don’t really know, what I was thinking
Would’ve thought we would float, but we kept sinking in
And things were so good
But you were in love, with some other guy
He looked just like me, but I make you cry,
You know I don’t mean to, I’m just an asshole sometimes

I never saw myself as being alone
And maybe that was my problem, cause now she’s gone
And I can’t help but think of how things could be (how things could be)
And I hope she’s happy, happy with out me
And all the things that she gave up for me,
I took for granted time after time

Guess I don’t really know, what I was thinking
Would’ve thought we would float, but we kept sinking in
And things were so good
But you were in love, with some other guy
He looked just like me, but I make you cry,
You know I don’t mean to, I’m just an asshole sometimes

And please don’t think I’m complaining
I was just happy to have her for a time
And if you see her tell her I said
”hello and that I’m doing just fine”


Guess I don’t really know, what I was thinking
Would’ve thought we would float, but we kept sinking in
And things were so good
But you were in love, with some other guy
He looked just like me, but I make you cry,
You know I don’t mean to, no
You know I don’t mean to
I’m just an asshole sometimes

Guess I don’t really know
I’m just an asshole sometimes
Guess I don’t really know
I’m just an asshole sometimes
Guess I don’t really know
Guess I’m an asshole sometimes