Song of the Day

Windows Are Rolled Down
~ Amos Lee

Look up, child
The world is born
Shoe's untied
And your soles are worn

Windows are rolled down
Sun is setting high
Windows are rolled down
I'm fixing to die

Corn rows have companion feel
This rocky road and this steering wheel
Who do you call to ease your pain?
I hope for you to get through this rain

Windows are rolled down
Moon is hanging low
Windows are rolled down
Think it's time for me to go, hey

Is it what you dreamed it'd be?
Are you locked up in this fantasy?
Oh, this miles that have torn us apart
My new found faith and my broken heart

Windows are rolled down
Sun is rising high
Windows are rolled down
Feel that wind rushing by, hey

Windows are rolled down


Song of the Day ... for all you hippies

Conservative Christian, Right Wing Republican,
Straight, White, American Male
~ Todd Snider

Conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American male.
Gay bashin’, black fearin’, poor fightin’, tree killin’, regional leaders of sales
Frat housin’, keg tappin’, shirt tuckin’, back slappin’ haters of hippies like me.
Tree huggin’, peace lovin’, pot smokin’, porn watchin’ lazyass hippies like me.
Tree huggin’, love makin’, pro choicen, gay weddin’, widespread diggin’ hippies like me.
Skin color-blinded, conspiracy-minded, protestors of corporate greed,
We who have nothing and most likely will ‘till we all wind up locked up in jails
By conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American males.

Diamonds and dogs, boys and girls, 
living together in two separate worlds
Following leaders of mountains of shame, 
looking for someone to blame.

Diamonds and dogs, boys and girls, 
living together in two separate worlds
Following leaders of mountains of shame, 
looking for someone to blame.
I know who I like to blame:

Conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American males,
Soul savin’, flag wavin’, Rush lovin’, land pavin’ personal friends to the Quayles
Quite diligently workin’ so hard to keep the free reins of this Democracy
From tree huggin’, peace lovin’, pot smokin’, barefootin’ folk-singin’ hippies like me.
Tree huggin’, peace lovin’, pot smokin’, porn watchin’ lazyass hippies like me.


Song of the Day - Unlove Me

Unlove Me
~ Julie Roberts

Unloose this hold you've got on me
Unlock this heart that can't get free
Unlive the night you kissed and hugged me
Undream the dreams that we both shared
Unfeel the feelin' that you cared
Before you leave me, please unlove me

Unlove me
Unmake all the memories I can't forget
Unlove me
Let me go back to the way I was before we met

Back to the days when I was strong
When it wasn't sad to be alone
When I was happy-go-lucky
And I didn't know how good it felt
To hold you and feel my heart melt
Show me a little mercy and unlove me

Unlove me
Untie all the strings between your heart and mine
Unlove me
But do it real slow, so I don't have to lose you all at one time

Before you pack your bags and leave
One thing I wish you'd do for me
Take a little time to just unlove me

Unlove me
Unmake all the memories I can't forget
Unlove me
Let me go back to the way I was before we met

Unloose this hold you've got on me
Unlock this heart that can't get free
Before you leave me, please unlove me
Show a little mercy and unlove me


CD Review - Shane Sweeney - The Finding Time"

 "It's all been said before but it must have fallen on deaf ears the first time."
Shane Sweeney ~ "Legion"
When I first heard Shane Sweeney, better known as the other vocalist in Two Cow Garage (gravely voiced Micah Schnabel sings the majority of TCG songs) was releasing a solo album, I wasn't sure what to expect. A friend of mine recently asked me if I skipped the Shane songs when I listening to Two Cow Garage, like I used to skip over the Grant Hart Husker Du tunes in favor of Bob Mould's stuff.  I actually like Shane's songs, and his voice, and his aggression, but there are times where I wish he'd sing a song, rather than fight it.  
While I never said this to him, I think someone did ... because he's done just that on "The Finding Time," his latest solo album. The album is, as far as I can hear, completely acoustic and a complete joy to listen to. It's been out since July, but I've been trying to find time to listen to it, let alone write about it.  That started last week.  Shane's playing a CD Release Show at Rumba on Friday, November 4th, with Jeffery Fernengel, Todd May, And Nate Linek. You can get the MP3's on Amazon or iTunes, or you can go get your face rocked off and buy an actual CD from Shane's merch table.
"The Finding Time" starts out with what today sounds like a song for the "Occupy (insert locality here)" movement. It's call "Legion" and it sets the tone musically, and lyrically:
 "There's more of us than them,
All it takes is everyone to raise a hand
Say I won't lay  down for money.
I will hold my head up and die like like a man
Won't you stand with me?
Brother won't you stand with me?
Won't you stand with me?
And if one should fall,
If one should should fall
If I should fall
Another will take up the call"
~ "Legion"
Knowing Shane and his fondness for making porch music ... kicking back pickin' and singing with friends and beer, it sounds like a lot of these album could be called "The Front Porch Sessions," and that's a compliment.  They're simple, straight forward tunes about life, family, and being strong in a world that just doesn't give a shit about you.  "When I Am Empty" and "Hallelujah" and "The Owl" and "Try Again Later" are among my favorite songs on this CD, and "Motel Blues" is a great life-on-the-road track that a lot of traveling musicians could have written, but didn't.  The CD ends with a couple of tracks featuring some great harmony on the vocals, the first being "See You In Heaven," a tribute to a friend who's in another place now. with some subtle guitar picking behind it. I love the way the song builds. The latter is a reprise of "Legion" ... short, and sweet, like it should be.
Will this be a chart buster? No. Sadly, it's not corporate rock. It's the complete opposite. But Micah and Shane have this "Art or Die" mantra. And this is art. This is Americana at it's finest. Good music made by a man who shows he's more than the screams and slamming bass lines you find in the Two Cow Garage songs some us know and love.


Song of the Day - Better Things

Better Things - The Kinks

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.

Here's hoping all the days ahead
Won't be as bitter as the ones behind you.
Be an optimist instead,
And somehow happiness will find you.
Forget what happened yesterday,
I know that better things are on the way.

It's really good to see you rocking out
And having fun,
Living like you just begun.
Accept your life and what it brings.
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the drudge and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.

I know you've got a lot of good things happening up ahead.
The past is gone it's all been said.
So here's to what the future brings,
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.


All My Racist Friends Are Coming Over Tonight (parody)

So, I haven't said much at all about this whole Hank Williams Jr Obama/Hitler thing ... until now, when I give to you my latest song parody:

"All My Racist Friends Are Coming Over Tonight"

I got ketchup on my klan robe, hot cross just burnt my hand
Lord, it's hard to still be a racist man
I keep black girls that can cook, I keep black girls that can clean
I keep asian girls that can do anything in between
I got to hide them away, make everything white
Cause all my racist friends are comin over tonight

Do you want a drink, hey, do you want to join the master party
Hey, white people, this is ole Grand Dragon Hank, ready to get the lynching started
We'll hang some up in the trees, put some more on ice
And all my racist friends are comin over tonight

Now, my Klan Meeting pad is out in the woods
It's a long way from here to liberal Hollywood
But I got some white debutante queens out on the floor
And ole Miss KKK Mississippi just walked through the door
Got a stars and bars wirlpool just made for ten
And you can hate out and you can hate in
You can do anything that you wanna do
But, uh-uhh, don't you bring your boo

Do you want a drink, hey, do you want to join the master party
Hey, white people, this is ole Grand Dragon Hank, ready to get the lynching started
We'll hang some up in the trees, put some more on ice
And all my racist friends are comin over tonight

Do you want to drink, hey, do you want to party
Hey, hey, this is racits Grand Dragon Hank
Ready to get the lynchin' time started
We'll hang some up in the trees, put some more on ice
And all my racist friends are comin over tonight


BW3's In Austintown is off the BANNED list

Since there's been a change in management at the BW3's in Austintown, I have removed my blog about them NOT being a sports bar and am willing to let the actions of the previous general manager be forgotten.

This is not me editing myself, or bowing to corporate pressure.  Two of the three managers from that site were reassigned. My beef was with one of them (the General Manager, not the assistant ... he remains a good guy in my mind), and since he's no longer in the building, or in charge of the building, my beef with them has ended.


So long, Evil Genius Idea #895

After months of doing nothing but hosting files ... I decided that it's time to pull the plug on Evil Genius Idea #895, http://www.ericbroz.net ...


I never use it.

In fact, I've migrated *almost* entirely to free sites such as here, wordpress for my music blog, facebook, Google+ and, sadly, even MySpace (still). I'm gonna keep the domain, but point it to a redirect that sends you to my FB page ... but the email is going away, so anyone who emails me at eric @ ericbroz dot net should change up and hit me at cebroz at gmail dot com.

It was a good four years (well, three, really), but all things change.


Jane Scott - 1919-2011. Amazing lady.

I was lucky enough to meet Jane Scott at a Motley Crue concert at the Richfield Coliseum in 1990. I don't remember if it was January or February, but it was winter. It was cold. VERY COLD. I was reviewing the show for the Tribune, and was a fan of Motley Crue live, as they put on a tremendous live show. Tommy Lee was playing his kit on rails that went upside down and out over the crowd. I took my sister Juli to the show ... we were freezing waiting to get in the press gate, only to be told no photo pass, but we did have tickets. She was happy to see a free show ... I was getting paid to write about music. Win Win.

And when we got inside, my sister asked who brought their Grandma to the show. I turned, and there beside me, with her Ticket pinned to her scarf; big red glasses, a bigger purse and the biggest smile I'd ever seen was Jane Scott. I immediately fanboy'ed and professed, as many had before me, that she was required reading every Friday and after every show ... whether I was there or not. I introduce her to my sister, who wasn't quite sure what to make, but slowly realized the cool factor when Jane started rocking out with us. Jane was 71 at the time.

Here's a link to a great telling of her story, and her retirement column. She was one of a kind in an era where an emerging music scene in a vibrant music city met the perfect woman at the perfect time.

I was blessed to know her. I think a lot of us were.  Dennis Lewin of the Cleveland band Beau Coup, wrote this when the PD tried to force her to retire ... she finally left on her own in 2002, after 50 years and, in her estimate, more than 10,000 concerts, from the Beatles to Nine Inch Nails and everything in between.  The last time I saw Jane was at an MC Hammer show at Blossom.  She had as much fun there as anyone ...

(Dedicated to P.D. Columnist "Jane Scott")

(Dennis Lewin)

Dear Jane

It's an early cold Friday morning
And my radio is blasting down the hall
Waking me up to the sounds
Of the late great Marvin Gaye

I fell out of bed
Got dressed and read the morning paper
I saw a picture of myself on the back page news
Next to an add for the final shows of Michael's band

Jane, Jane you watched me change from a boy to a man
Jane you stood behind me and the boys in the band
Don't you ever give up on us Jane

You know Jane I was 5 back in 64
When you started at Friday magazine
There wasn't a flash in the pan that you missed
Or a style un-seen 

But than the papers read
Jane they say you're too old for the new style
But you never mix art and age as one
'Cause the older you get the better you shine in the public's eye

Jane, Jane you watched me change from a boy to a man
Jane you stood behind me and the boys in the band
Don't you ever give up on us Jane

Jane they always try to cut you down to pieces
To criticize your work is a slap in the face of justice
You broke so many bands that came from foreign lands
and now they try to take away the pen that wrote their names


Easiest Job in the World

Despite being a journalist for a period of time in my life, I rarely read the printed paper anymore.  (Sorry to my friends still in the business, and apologies to Al Newhearth and the staff at McPaper.)  Today, however, Sarah picked up a Vindicator as we're looking for a place to live, and I noticed a help wanted ad.  And it made me want to seriously think about a career change.

After reading this little help wanted ad, I've decided it has to be the easiest job in the world:

Wanted:  Science teacher at a Christian school.

Think about it.  Easiest. Job. EVER!

You can teach your budding Christian scientists everything ... and I mean EVERYTHING ... with a a couple of three-word phrases:

God made it.  God made them. God makes it. God makes them. God provides it.
  • How'd the galaxy get here?  God made it.
  • Where did the rocks come from? God made them.
  • How does water form?  God makes it.
  • Where do babies come from? God makes them.
  • How do we get friuts from the ground?  God provides it.
Or, if you wanna get funny, you can just pull out the Bill Hicks:

If God created all life, why are there dinosaur bones?  God put them here to test your faith.  God's just fucking with you.  Jokester God strikes again. Giant Lizards? Walking the Earth?  HA.

Or, you can circle back the easiest job in the world:

God made them.

The final test would be an essay test:  Explain the formation of the galaxy and all life on Earth:

Any answer but "God made it." results in failure.  And you get to enjoy your summers off.


Comfest 2011 ... so far

After a quick romp through the schedule ... here's what I'm picking:


Gazebo    12:55    Erika Hughes
Off Ramp   2:10    Wing & Tusk
Off Ramp   4:15    Whoa Nellie!
Main       4:55    Bastard Sons of Neptune
Off Ramp   6:30    Karate Coyote
Off Ramp   8:00    Envelope
Gazebo     9:00    Colin Gawel & Lonely Bones
Off Ramp  10:15    Phantods


Off Ramp  11:55    Shazbots
Off Ramp  12:50    Eric Nassau & Friends
Main       2:35    Floorwalkers
Solar      4:00    Victoria Parks
Off Ramp   4:50    Harvest Kings
Gazebo     6:00    Mendelsonics
Off Ramp   6:25    Lost Revival
Main       7:55    Sean Carney
Gazebo     8:00    Donna Magavero
Main       8:55    Willie Phoenix
Off Ramp   9:05    Lydia Loveless


Gazebo    11:00    The Ginger Lees
Gazebo    12:00    The Spike Drivers
Gazebo     1:00    Tim Easton / MSGers
Off Ramp   4:00    The Dirty Flaggs
Off Ramp   4:45    Bicentenial Bear
Main       4:50    Mary Adam 12
Jazz       4:50    Jen Miller
Off Ramp   5:35    Yellow Light Maybe
Gazebo     7:00    Megan Palmer
OffRamp    7:15    Wet Darlings

I'll save my bitching and complaining about the bad music selections this year until after the event.


Random Links ... or RBOL as Pretty In Orange calls them

So ... since I have too many of these to flood Facebook or Twitter with ... here's a Random Blog of Links:  (title stolen from Angela!)

A bunch of bikers blocked those dumb God Hates Fags asshats in Missouri.  Fuck, even the Ku Klux Klan is protesting those guys.  I get the whole "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" thing ... but when you're lower on the hate ladder than the KKK, you're a serious bunch of douchebags

Nope, says the good white senator saying President Obama only got elected "because he's black" ... adding  "There's nothing racist about this ..."  /facepalm ... pssst ... it is racist, because he's only half black, dumbass!

And combining the two posts ... can we go from a half-black president to a pretend biker one?  "“There’s no better way to see D.C. than on the back of a Harley!"

Meanwhile, while President Obama was giving an address to the blown-away bastards in Joplin, Missouri, the distinguished staff at Faux News was very much concerned if the president was chewing gum.  That really bothers me as a former journalist. I real journalist would have at least asked what kind.  Fucking amateurs.

I bet my friend David Knudtz would watch hockey if you could turn your stick into a lightsaber.  Take that, Jumbo!

Somebody better call Undercover Brother.  Nobody messes with the 'fro!

I think I'd still read comic books if they'd swap genders more often.

And finally ... anyone need some Dragon's Blood or Unicorn Liver?  You need to shop here.


Who's ready for a five-month PARTY?

Red Wanting Blue - The World Is Over

So, according to the experts at FamilyRadio.com ... we're all gonna start to either be in heaven or walking hell on earth on Saturday about 6 p.m. in your time zone ... so I figured I'd share one of my favorite Red Wanting Blue song off "These Magnificent Miles" and give you some words of wisdum from the good people of Family Radio ...

"Only recently, through careful study of information found in the Bible, we now know the precise timeline of the world’s history, from the creation year of 11,013 BC to Christ's return on May 21, 2011 to the final destruction of the world on October 21, 2011. By God's grace and tremendous mercy, He is giving us advanced warning as to what He is about to do. On Judgment Day, May 21st, 2011, this 5-month period of horrible torment will begin for all the inhabitants of the earth. It will be on May 21st that God will raise up all the dead that have ever died from their graves. Earthquakes will ravage the whole world as the earth will no longer conceal its dead (Isaiah 26:21). People who died as saved individuals will experience the resurrection of their bodies and immediately leave this world to forever be with the Lord. Those who died unsaved will be raised up as well, but only to have their lifeless bodies scattered about the face of all the earth. Death will be everywhere. " - familyradio.com

So, with that in mind, let's all party like we're gonna die, eh?  As for me, I'll be enjoying the weekend with Sarah  ... hanging out Friday night, Red Wanting Blue at the House of Blues on Saturday night; Pittsburgh Pirates game on Sunday afternoon ... that is, if she's still here with me after the rapture!


Now *THAT* is a weekend.

Wow.  I don't even know how to begin to define my weekend.

Let's just say ... sometimes ... you might wish you were me.

Friday - drinks with friends and Sarah at a bar with hockey AND sound with a vegan lesbian roller-derby-girl bartender next to a guy from Detroit. Was fun until they took the lead with 97 seconds left.

Saturday - Slept in, then went to see a movie with Sarah, had dinner, proposed, she said yes, spent the next hour staring at her ring, and then we hit the bar that has 1,500 types of beer and packed a 10-pack of varied beer to take home and had a couple of nice drafts before retiring for the evening.

Sunday - Woke up smiling ... went to the Pittsburgh Pirates game with Sarah and Aidan. They won.  Yuengling on draft. I won. Sarah and Aidan got to run the bases after the game.  Got home to filter through about 300 messages of congrats from our friends on Facebook. 

We're all winners.


Friend FAQ questions ... answered

So one of the bajillion Facebook apps is this thing called Friend FAQ where they ask you random questions about the people in your friends list that you may or may not know the answer to.

Then they tell your friend that "Someone answered a question about you. Find out what they said." without telling you who.

Or what they said.

You can merely find out the question and the answer, unless you collect (or purchase) 'coins' to unlock the answers.

Well, since I don't care much for what the general public thinks of me, as they don't know me ... I was curious about what the people who do (or allege to) know me would think ... so I decided to grade the 18 questions asked about me, to date.  So here you go:

Do you think that Eric Broz is dumber than Jessica Simpson?     No 

Correct.  And big ups to whoever said that.  I'll buy you some sea chickens. 

Do you think that Eric Broz is socially awkward?     No

Correct ... and Wrong.  My take:  Split.  There are times I'm insanely socially awkward, mostly involving asking a woman I find attractive for her name, let alone a date.  Other times I'm the friendliest guy in the room.

Would Eric Broz make a good spouse?     Yes

My take:  Hey, maybe the third time's a charm.  Not going to count this as it's too subjective.

Do you think that Eric Broz has ever stolen money from their friends?     No

Correct. Money isn't a big issue with me.  As for lending money to friends ... if you give a friend $20 and you never see him, or it, again, it was probably worth it.

Is Eric Broz's profile picture cute?     Yes

Thanks. My daughter's a excellent photographer!  But I'm not grading this as it's subjective.  I will say it's a good photo, though!

Do you think that Eric Broz is lazy?     No

Wrong.  You've not seen me on weekends where I lay around, don't get dressed, and just scratch.

Do you think that Eric Broz has ever played beer pong?     Yes

. I've played lots of other drinking games though.

Do you think that Eric Broz is hyper?     No

Correct ... although it really depends on the amount of Red Bull (mixed with Jagermeister) I've consumed.

Do you think that Eric Broz is a tree hugger?     No

Correct.  Let's face it ... I have a tattoo of Eric Cartman. He, like, me hates hippies.  Here's why:  "“Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play Frisbee!”

Do you think that Eric Broz has ever failed a class?     No

Wrong.  I have failed one class, twice  Statistics. Twice.  I changed my major to avoid taking Stats again.  Two plus two is ALWAYS four. Fuck your probability.

Do you think that Eric Broz is a good friend?     Yes

Awwww, thanks ... but I'm not grading this as it's subjective. While I like to believe I'm a better friend than boyfriend ... that's for someone else to grade.

Do you think that Eric Broz is cute?     Yes

Awwww, thanks again ... and again, I'm not grading this category as it's subjective.

Do you think that Eric Broz would look good in tights?     Yes

Wrong. As far as you know.  But if I did, they'd have to be pretty dark tights, and then it's a maybe at best. Sure, I have great legs, but they're hairy, and that never looks good in tights.

Do you think that Eric Broz has ever stolen from work?     No

Wrong.  I once NEARLY had to testify, in federal court, that I did, indeed steal from work.  It's a long story. I'll have to pull up what I wrote about it, when it happened, because it's rather funny, and yes, I would have had immunity to testify ... and it wasn't a big deal, really, just some copies (by some I mean about 2,000) and some enlargements (by some I mean about 100) when I worked for Kinko's. So it's not like I was dipping from the til or carting off computers.

Do you think that Eric Broz likes chick flicks?     Yes

Correct, dammit, now the secret's out.  Well, except for anything starring Michelle Phiffer (anyone see the steaming piles-of-shit "Story of Us" and "White Oleander" ever want to see her 'act' again? Me either.)  Oh, and anything with boiled horse-face Sarah Jessica Parker.  You know why she and Matthew Broderick had kids with a surragate?  His sperm are way too smart survive in that womb.  When they saw it wasn't tonsils, they hit the self-destruct button.

Do you think that Eric Broz has ever used steroids?     No

Wrong.  NO? he shouted in a Chris-Beniot-style ROID RAGE FIT ... WITH A BODY LIKE THIS? HELL YEAH I'VE HAD THE JUICE ... (Actually, seriously, I did. But it was for a brief time. And prescribed. To help heal.

Do you think that Eric Broz watches porn?     Yes

Correct!  As my ex-wife said to me once, when I asked, sarcastically, if there was porn on the internet ... "There's even some you haven't seen."

Do you think that Eric Broz can throw a football with a spiral?     Yes

Correct!  You're darn tootin' on that one. Like, every year, I sit around and wait to be drafted, but the phone call never comes.  I think it's the knees.  Not because I'm old and fat and stopped playing organized football after one year.  They just don't know talent.

Final Score:

7 Correct
6 Wrong
4 Not answered as they were subjective, not factual
1 That goes both ways because I am both sides of that question.

So ... better than expected, but there are things about me most of you don't know (such as the whole stealing from work thing and that I lay around and scratch myself sometimes on weekends.

No one can save us ... from Kim the waitress

A long time ago, in a galaxy not too far from where I live now, I had quite a rather funny and unexpected crush that was based kind of on a song that turned into a relationship that ended in one of those full-fledged WTF Just Happened story that somehow seems to populate my life.

After coming back from living in the Virgin Islands, I went back to the newspaper I was working for for a bit, then had a falling out with the new managing editor. Being young and stupid, it was entirely my fault. Long story short ... the boss is the boss for a reason. Listen to what she tells you. Do what she asks. Keep getting your paycheck. Wasn't illegal, immoral or ethically questionable, I was just being stupid.  And I got fired.

Which lead me to the world of Les Nessman ... I got into radio news.  My ex-wife had a job once where their receptionist referred to me as "The Voice" when I called, and lets be honest, I do have the perfect face for radio, and the nose of a news reporter who knows how to ask the hard questions, so I was ideally set for a fine career in radio.  But that's not the story here.

Being young and poor, I had two jobs and I worked weird hours ... was doing radio news from 5 a.m. to Noon, I'd have lunch, then go home and sleep for a bit.  Five nights a week I'd bartend from 7 p.m. to close (2:30), then clean the bar, hit Perkins for breakfast, go home, shower, change clothes and hit the radio station to start the cycle all over again. Apply, lather, rinse, repeat.  One of the places I used to go for lunch was this little deli in downtown Warren that featured old style move themes, with meals named after what they ate in classic films of the 30's and 40's ... Breakfast at Tiffany's was a meal that featured what they ate, they had Bogart and Bacall burgers, stuff like that.

And a really hot waitress named Kim.  

Who I was digging muchly.  Mostly because she was a hot blue-eyed redhead with a great rack and heart-shaped ass. And kinda because of a Material Issue song called "Kim The Waitress" from the Freak City Soundtrack that was a great album that was out about the time I first walked in there. But she had pursed lips and tender hips, and they were turning in my head, as the song goes.

I should have taken that as a warning.  I didn't. As Warren Zevon once said, "I went home with a waitress, they way I always do."  My first wife was a waitress when we were married, I'd dated a couple of waitresses or servers since we separated, and Kim was the last that was an actual waitress when we dated.  But anyway ... no one can save us from Kim the waitress, as the song goes, she always turns me on.

Anyway ... I'd always ask for her section and we always would talk about all sorts of things. She was smart.  And pretty. Oh so pretty. And that bothers me in places below the belt!  But I didn't think I stood a ghost of a chance with her.  All of which matched up to the song.  Especially the second verse: 

"Sometimes she comes with coffee
Leaning over, pouring
I'd like to gently pull her to me
Kiss her, with no warning
Seeing her some sunny Sunday morning"

Me being me, and the flirt, I kept talking to her, asking about her, what she did, what she liked, all the things that a guy does when flirting. And she'd flirt back.  If it was slow she's sit beside, me, not across from me.  And when she found out that I worked for the radio station around the corner, she said she listened every day.  People say they listen/watch/read to anyone who's on that air or in print, but it's a common courtesy ... most of the time it's pandering.  She started quoting me lines I'd used on the air.  Okay, I was impressed.  I figure I'll ask her out.  And I do.

So the day I finally asked her out, it was gangbusters. I asked her out, she said "how about this afternoon?"  I said sure. At 26 I could go a day or three without sleep to spend time with her. The deli was a breakfast/lunch only place, so they closed at 2 and she was done at 2:30.  So we talked. She got my number, I told her where I lived (it was above a business).  She said she knew where it was, and would come over after work.  She did. And started stripping as she walked in the room. It was mad monkey love for a couple of hours, then she got dressed, kissed me goodbye and said, "Let's do this again." No real first date ... no need to wine and dine her ... I'd show up for lunch, she'd just come over and we'd have sex.  At 42, I pick that vibe up right away ... but being 26, I was semi-clueless.

The only thing we ever did together in public was doing the Reading for the Blind ... it was  a community service thing she talked me into doing. We'd meet there and read the stories from the newspaper in a little studio that recorded them, put them on a phone bank for the blind to call in and listen.  Again, this was 1994, the internet wasn't all it is today.  That, lunchtime talks and sex was our entire 'relationship' ... and it was going on six or seven months.  But the sex was good, so I was happy and didn't look beyond the here and now.

Again, being 26, I never put any relevance to us never going out, no dinner, no movie.  She told me after the first time not to give her cards, or flowers, she didn't like them, and not to let on at work that we were an item as her boss didn't want the staff hooking up with customers because it was bad for business.

Yeah, again, all clues that today I'd say "Oh, well, I'm just a side project."  But I wasn't all that smart back then.  Until one day, about six or seven months after we first hooked up. I had a rare Saturday morning off from the radio station. So I went home after going out with friends (didn't bartend the Friday night shift, ever), woke up about 10 a.m., grabbed the newspaper, and headed over to a little diner for breakfast because they had killer omelets.  And I used to work there as a dishwasher, so I knew the family that ran it.  I thought about calling her

This was before cell phones were a commodity and readily available, back when the phone was something on the wall in your house, not in your pocket.  But she and I never really talked on the phone. She'd call me when she was home.  Said she was 'too busy' and I should just let her call me.

Again, all things I should have picked up on ... but didn't.

So, it's a nice sunny Saturday in May, I'm sitting at the diner reading the paper and enjoying both a fine cup of coffee and a Big Jack, I pause on the society section of the paper for some odd reason because a picture catches my eye.  I stare at it and realize that I'm reading my alleged girlfriend's and certified sex friend's engagement announcement.  How special.

I don't say anything on Monday when I see her for the Reading for the Blind.  But I do invited her over Tuesday ... she shows up about 2:40, gets naked, we're having sex, she has no ring on, so I let the day play out.  As we're done ... and she's getting dressed, I say, "Hey, I have something to show you."  And hand her the announcement. 

She looks me dead in the eye and says, "I never told you I had a boyfriend?"  I said, "No."  She then proceeds to tell me that they've been together for five years (she's 24), and he doesn't know anything about me.  She called sessions with me as "going to the gym" and he never questioned it.  She said she'd still like to come over because I was good in bed and fun to talk to.  While both of those are compliments, at 26, I wasn't looking for a sometimes sex thing ... I wanted it all.  So I ended it with her.  

The worst part ... I really missed the Bogart burger.

"Kim The Waitress" ~ Material Issue

Pursed lips and tender hips
Turning, in my head
Writing poems in a corner booth
That I'd die, if she read
Seeing her in but a silver cross
Lying on her bed

No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Nobody can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Always turns me on

Sometimes she comes with coffee
Leaning over, pouring
I'd like to gently pull her to me
Kiss her, with no warning
Seeing her some sunny Sunday morning

No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Nobody can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Always turns me on

She doesn't come around anymore
And that bothers me
And that bothers me
Yeah, it bothers me

Though I don't stand a ghost of a chance with her
She's pretty (and that bothers me)
So pretty (and that bothers me)
And it bothers me

No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Nobody can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Always turns me down

No one can save us
No one can save us
Nobody can save us


Song of the Day - For Kurt Cobain

Disclaimer:  I was never a fan.  I don't really care what kind of feedback this gets, or who bitches and complains. My blog, my point of view.

At one point back in my troll days, I actually got the Nirvana board shut down (and my account cancelled) for startinga  huge flame wary by posting a parody of "All Apologies" with the PS:  It turns out he did have a gun, after all.

Here's what I wrote:

No Apologies - A Parody

What else could I do?
Blew my head in two
What else could I say?
Irrelevant anyway.
What else could I write?
It's all rather trite.
How else to be sure?
Assume room temperature.

On the porch
In the sun
I pulled out a shotgun
In the sun
In the sun
Now I'm Buried!
I wish I was like you
Still breathing too
You'll find more of my skull
Painted up there on the wall
I'll take all the blame
Could not handle the fame
Ran out of drugs and songs
One blast will right my wrongs

On the porch
In the sun
I pulled out a shotgun
In the sun
In the sun
Now I'm buried
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

All I am is all worm food (repeat til fade)


The Sound of Sneezing ... a song parody

Once again I'm destroying a great 60's song with one of my weird-ass brain farts.  Sorry, Paul Simon ...

The Sound of Sneezing

Hello head cold, my old friend
You've come to infect me again
Because of you I'm always sneezing
My nose is stuffy I'm not sleeping
And the virus that was planted in my body 
Leaves me snotty
And brings the sound of sneezing

In restless sleep I toss until
I get knocked out by the NyQuil
Beneath the soft glow of the TV
That big sneeze you heard was all me
My nose is stuffed
and my eyes are watering too
All I hear is "Bless you"
Amongst the sound of sneezing

And in the grocery store I saw
Ten thousand remedies maybe more
All I hear is me sneezing
Breathing through my nose is just wheezing
My ears are clogged 
And my tissues are snot-logged
All I hear is the sound of sneezing

"Fools," said I, "You do not know
Head colds like a cancer grow."
Avoid my sneeze is what I teach you
So droplet particulates will not reach you
And wash your hands with hot water and soap
Don't be a dope
Or you'll echo the sound of sneezing

And now I humbly bow and pray
To the green liquid that Vicks made
As my nose gives me a warning
Another big sneeze it is forming
And the words of the prophets are written on the bottle side. 
A font both bold and wide:
A NyQuil coma will silences the sound of sneezing.


Polar Bear Plunge for Cancer

So ... I decided to embark on a fund-raiser ... I'm going to do a Polar Bear Plunge into the icey waters of Lake Milton to raise money for the American Cancer Society.

The goal is $100 per person ... I kicked my campaign off with a $25 donation, then decided to test the website with a $5 donation (because I'm an IT Nerd like that and have to test a link before I can recommend it).

So ... that being said ... I have 19 days to raise $70 ... who's with me?  Click here to donate!

And if you're interested in watching, March 5th at Lake Milton is where the plunging will be happening.

And yeah, I'll be wearing nothing more than a swim suit and sneakers (because it's a long, cold walk to the water ... shoes are needed!)


Facts about Farting

Well, as a guy who is lactose intolerant and loves dairy products, I'm often gassy.  And sometimes, my deflation is legendary in both the sound and the length.

Being a guy who likes to do his research, I stumbled upon a long-lost Q&A about farts from a long-dead forum I used to be part of.  No idea who the original author was, but here are some interesting facts about farts:

What makes farts stink?

The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?

(Question submitted by many, many people!) Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and more odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!) mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm.

Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly), often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.

How much gas does a normal person pass per day?

On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts. Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.

How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else's nose?

(Question submitted by SteF) Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever. Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car.

These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

Why is there a 13 to 20 second delay between farting and the time it starts to smell?

Actually, the fart stinks immediately upon emergence, but it takes several seconds for the odor to travel to the farter's nostrils. If farts could travel at the speed of sound, we would smell them almost instantly, at the same time we hear them.

Is it true that some people never fart?

No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.

Do even movie stars fart? (Question submitted by Mermaid2006)

Yes most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender. I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do.

Do men's farts smell worse than women's farts?

Based on what I have experienced of women's farts, all I can say is that I hope not.

At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart? (Submitted by David)

A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder," and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household.

Why are beans so notorious for making people fart?

Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. When these sugars reach our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a big feast, and make lots of gas! Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell peppers, cabbage, milk, and raisins. A friend of mine had a dog who was exceptionally fond of apples and turnips. The dog would eat these things and then get prodigious gas. A dog's digestive system is not equipped to handle such vegetable matter, so the dog's bacteria worked overtime to produce remarkable flatulence.

What things other than diet can make a person fart more than usual?

People who swallow a lot of air fart more than people who don't. This can be cured somewhat by chewing with your mouth closed. Nervous people with fast moving bowels will fart more because less air is absorbed out of the intestines. Some disease conditions can cause excess flatulence. And going up in an airplane or other low-pressure environment can cause the gas inside you to expand and emerge as flatulence.

Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end?

No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and more bacterial gas content than burps.

Is it harmful to hold in farts?

There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be po isoned or catch a disease by retaining farts. Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much.

How long would it be possible to not fart? (Question submitted by Ineed69too)

As I understand it, a captive fart can escape as soon as the person relaxes. This means that a lot of people who assiduously refrain from farting during the day do so at great length as soon as they fall asleep. Having been on a great many overnight field trips, long bus trips, and trans- Pacific flights, I can personally vouch for the fact that lots of people do fart voluminously as they doze off. So the answer to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you can stay awake!

Do all people fart in their sleep? (Question submitted by MrBlack)

I have not made a scientific study of this, but I don't think all people fart in their sleep. I think mainly those who refuse to fart when they're awake do so when dozing off. For other people, toilet training takes such a strong hold that they let nothing pass their sphincters in sleep. For these people, the gas accumulates in the night and they vent it upon awakening.

Where do farts go when you hold them in?

How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has disappeared when you are ready for it? I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into the bloodstream? What happens to it? The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later. It is reassuring to know that such farts aren't really lost, just delayed.

How can one cover up a fart? (Question submitted by Mouseweed)

There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill. As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart.

If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart. CJT addresses the problem of farting loudly in a public restroom as follows: "My solution: use a handful of loose toilet paper, cover your butt hole and it will muffle the farting; my friends and I call it the 'Buff Muff'!" Depending upon the company, another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others to outdo that one if they think they can.

Is it really possible to ignite farts?

The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A survey done by Fartcloud (the site, alas! is no more) indicates that about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of flatulence is a hazardous practice. However, if you want to try it, and you don't have a friend to light your fart for you, you might find it easier to accomplish the job using the Fartlighter. There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon.

Why is possible to burn farts?

Farts burn because they contain methane (usually) and hydrogen, both of which are flammable gases. (Hydrogen was the same gas that was used in the ill fated Hindenburg dirigible.) Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame. 

credit given to original author if known


Song of the Day

"Enjoy Yourself"
~ Todd Snider

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself,
It's later than you think.

You work and work
For years and years
You're always on the go.
You never take a minute off,
Too busy making dough.
Someday, you say, you'll have your fun
When you're a millioniare.
Imagine all the fun you'll have
In some old rocking-chair.

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself
It's later than you think.

You're gonna take that ocean trip
No matter come what may.
You got your reservations
But you just can't get away.
Next year, for sure, you'll see the world,
You'll really get around;
But how far can you travel
When you're six feet underground?

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly a as wink.
Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself
It's later than you think.

Get out and see the world...

You worry when the weather's cold,
You worry when it's hot.
You worry when you're doing well,
You worry when you're doing not.
It's worry, worry all of the time,
You don't know how to laugh.
They'll think of something funny
When they write your epitaph.

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly as wink.
Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself
It's later than you think.


Facts about the human body

1. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

2. There are 206 bones in the adult human body, but 300 in children (some of the bones fuse together as a child grows).

3. The human eye blinks an average of 4,200,000 times a year.

4. The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.

5. The longest living cells in the body are brain cells which can live an entire lifetime.

6. There are more living organisms on the skin of a single human being than there are human beings on the surface of the earth.

7. Men get hiccups more often than women.

8. Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of “Lorne Greene’s Animal Kingdom”.

9. Life expectancy for Russian men has actually gone down over the past 40 years. A Russian male born today can expect to live an average 58 years.

10. In 1985, the most popular waist size for men’s pants was 32. In 2003, it’s 36.

11. Seven percent of Americans claim they never bathe at all.

12. In 2004, one in six girls in the United States enter puberty at age 8. A hundred years ago, only one in a hundred entered puberty that early.

13. Newest trend in the Netherlands: Tiny jewels implanted directly into the eye.

14. A British gymnast survived a fall from a fourth story window because he went into a somersault and came down on two feet.

15. Jeffrey and Sheryl McGowen in Houston turned to vitro fertilization. Two eggs were implanted in Sheryl’s womb, and both of them split. Sheryl gave birth to two sets of identical twins at once.

16. In 1991, the average bra size in the United States was 34B. Today it’s 36C.

17. The average North Korean 7-year-old is almost three inches shorter than the average South Korean 7-year-old.

18. Every year, 2700 surgical patients go home from the hospital with metal tools, sponges, and other objects left inside them. In 2000, 57 people died as a result of these mistakes.

19. We forget 80 percent of what we learn everyday.

20. Pain is measured in units of “dols”. The instrument used to measure pain is a “dolorimeter”.

21. The Amish a diet high in meat, dairy, refined sugars and calories. Yet obesity is virtually unknown among them. The difference is since they have no TVs, cars or powered machines, they spend their time in manual labor.

22. As of January 1, 2004, the population of the United States increases by one person every 12 seconds. There is a birth every eight seconds, an immigrant is added every 25 seconds, but a death every 13 seconds.

23. Astronauts cannot burp in space. There is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.

24. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

25. Fidgeting can burn about 350 calories a day.

26. Wearing headphones for an hour increases the bacteria in your ear 700 times.

27. A baby is born without kneecaps. They appear between age 2 and 6.

28. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

29. In a recent survey, Americans revealed that banana was their favorite smell.

30. The arteries and veins surrounding the brain stem called the “circle of Willis” looks like a stick person with a large head.

31. Brushing your teeth regularly has been shown to prevent heart disease.

32. A kiss stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.

33. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

34. Your nose and ears never stop growing.

35. It takes approximately 12 hours for food to entirely digest.

36. Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks.

37. Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

38. As you age, your eye color gets lighter.

39. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

40. Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day.

 41. Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe.

42. One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.

43. Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.

44. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

45. The average person laughs 15 times a day.


UFC 126: My Predictions

UFC 126 is tonight on Facebook, Spike TV and finally the main event pay-per-view.  As with most UFC bouts, I'll be at BW3 in Austintown if you wanna stop down, but come early if you want a seat.

Here's the lineup card, starting with the prelims first and continuing through the main card.  I judge myself by with two points per bout:  One for the winner, the other for the type of victory.  I don't see a lot of these fights going the distance, which is good for fans.  

That being said, here are my picks for tonight:

Mike Pierce vs Kenny Robertson

Pierce beat Brock Larson and nearly beat John Fitch ... but he was overweight at the weigh-ins and had to cut additional weight, so that may hurt him.  I'm still thinking Pierce is the stronger fighter, I just wonder how much the additional cut will hurt him.

My pick:  Pierce, KO

Kyle Kingsbury vs Ricardo Romero

Romero's a better wrestler, Kingsbury (9-2) has a good submission game, but a weak chin. Romero by TKO in what will probably be the biggest ground fight of the night.  Romero's 11-1 with six submissions and four KO's, so he's a finisher; five of Kingsbury's 11 fights have gone to the judges.

My Pick:  Romero, TKO.

Paul Taylor vs. Gabe Ruediger

Taylor knows how to kick up the excitement and I think he's going to make Rudiger wish he was back in the TUF house eating cake. He looked thin at the weigh-in whereas Taylor looked very natural. 

My Pick: Taylor, KO.

Norifumi "Kid" Yamamoto vs Demetrious Johnson

This fight will be streamed live on Facebook (if you're a fan or UFC on Facebook it's free) and features the debut of Kid Yamamoto, one of the most popular fighters in Japanese MMA with a record of 18-3 with one no contest.  He loves the knockout, and I see him getting KO victory 14 against an overmatched Johnson.

My Pick: Kid Yamamoto, KO.

Michihiro Omigawa vs Chad Mendes

This fight will be live on Spike, again for free. I see Omigawa cleaning the cage with Mendes ... Mendes has heart, is a good wrestler and undefeated, and he's been in some battles, but Omigawa's fighting for his UFC life.  He looked good at the weighins and has changed up his training routine to work his judo and striking better in the cage, which is why he's the fourth-ranked featherweight in MMA.

My Pick: Omigawa, decision

Donald Cerrone vs Paul Kelly

Also on the Spike Prelims Show, this is going to be our first real fight where the fighter who makes the first mistake will wind up asking "What happened?" after waking up, either from a Cerrone knockout or Kelly submission.

My Pick:  Cerrone, KO

Miguel Torres vs Antonio Banuelos

The first PPV fight of the card is going to get fans up and excited to kick off the main card. If you've never seen Torres fight, you have missed some of the most intense action from the WEC. Sure, he's little (135 pound bantumweight division), but he's a buzzsaw. Great strikes, good wrestling.  Torres (38-3) has ended 82% of his fights (9 knockouts, 23 submissions), while Benuelos has left it up to the judges in half of his 24 fights (he's 18-6 overall)

My Pick:  Torres, KO

Jake Ellenberger vs Carlos Eduardo Rocha

I'm not much a fan of either of these guys, but one this is for sure ... they both come to throw, so this will be fast and furious.  I think Ellenberger has the edge in striking and wrestling.

My Pick: Ellenberger, KO

Ryan Bader vs Jon Jones

Great staredowns rarely lead to great fights, but these two have been on a collision course since Jones came to the UFC and started dominating people and Bader blew up the Ultimate Fighter house before winning Season 8.  Both fighters are unbeaten, and everyone who watched the DQ loss to Mark Hamill knows how dominant Jones was in that fight, and how he's been cleaning out the division. Bader has a 10-inch reach disadvantage to overcome, but if he does that, there's still the viscious elbows of Jones to deal with.

My Pick:  Jones, KO

Forrest Griffin vs Rich Franklin

Two guys who love to fight get to fight. To see who's better. That's MMA. It's going to be fun and it's going to be exciting. Griffin needs a win to get back on the horse; Franklin can continue his impressive streak of beating everyone NOT named Anderson Silva.

My Pick:  Franklin, KO; but we all win watching this fight.

Vitor Belfort vs Anderson Silva

Silva's due to fall. Sonnen exposed some holes in his game. Belfort is a tattical striker who finds the holes in everyone's game and hits you hard and fast. If his straight left catches Silva, look for a finish.  But never bet against the spider is the rule, right?

My Pick:  Belfort, KO.

Check back next week to see how I did.


Dear eMusic ... I'm sorry, we're breaking up

Look, I know we've had a great relationship for going on five years now, and I know that we've both changed in that time, but after today's visit, I'm afraid I don't know you anymore.

It really comes down to the money.  I used to get a lot of bang for my buck with you. In fact, when I started, we're talking songs were as low as 17 cents ... based on how I purchased and paid ... and there were lots of other options.

Lots of great music at cheap prices ... albums as low as $3.00 and exclusive tracks that nobody else had, not to mention that there were bands that nobody else had in a digital format.

Then, as you grew, you got more expensive .. but you were still the best bargain around ... even at 40 or 50 cents, you were great.  Your catalog was expanding, your exclusive tracks and impressive collections of whole discographies were amazing to me.

Then you had to big-time us.

Adding Columbia and RCA and all sorts of major labels that, quite frankly, none of us wanted.  As a bunch of introverts who would stare at our own shoes, mixed with the occasional extrovert who stared at other people's shoes, we wanted our indie rock legal, and cheap.

We wanted Ryan Adams, not Bryan Adams.  Bruce Cockburn, not Bruce Springsteen.

The final straw, though, was switching from download credits to actual cash ... I'd rather get my 30 credits at 50 cents a month than a flat out $12 dollars and 89 cent songs.

You've become Amazon without the selection. iTunes without the iPod. I see you heading down the same road as the download services once offered by WalMart and Sony and Napster ... you went from a niche player that ruled your market to the smallest fish in your pond.

And I'm taking my tackle box and leaving.  Good luck to you.


Song of the Day

"What Love Was"
~Kate York
So you stopped the rain
And you turned the spout
And you took the sun
And your wrung it out
So it falls on me
When I'm in this place
And I'm overwhelmed
With this life to face

'Cause I didn't know what love was
No I didn't have a clue
No I didn't know what love was
'Til I found you

Then I could only dream
Of things to come
To be so sure
But to come undone
Cause it starts so small
Like scattered blue
Then it pierce the skin
Now it runs me through

'Cause I didn't know what love was
No I didn't have a clue
No I didn't know what love was
'Til I found you

And I leaping flame
that was once it spark
and It swallowed up
And now it pierce the dark
And I leaping flame
that was once it spark
and It swallowed up
And now it pierce the dark

'Cause I didn't know what love was
No I didn't have a clue
No I didn't know what love was
'Til I found you

My 'other' 2010 wap-up


Stayed single the whole year?
No. Fell in love with an amazing woman :D

Were involved in something you'll never forget?
Absolutely ... several things!

Dyed your hair?
Yeah. I l thought I  looked to old to date her ... she said she'd break up with me if I ever dyed it again.

Came close to losing your life?
We're all day-to-day.

Saw one of your favorite bands live?
Many of them. And often.


Did you meet any new friends this year?

Did you hate anyone?
No. When you hate someone you give them a piece of you that you never get back.

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
Nope. Actually reconnected with a couple of great people that were previous regrets.


Did you have a cake?

Did you have a party?

Did you get any presents?
A kick-ass stick-figure video from my daughter. And that's better than presents.


Did you change at all this year?
A few things. For the better.

Did you change your style?
I have style??  Actually, I started working at home in September, which has seriously reduced the number of days a week I wear pants.

Were you in school?
School of life

Did you get good grades?
I'm still living.

Did you have a job?
Yeah, and I worked far too many hours.

Did you drive?
Yes! Lots of places.

Did you own a car?
Yes. Ivy ... the pine green Saturn with the "Chewie Is My Co-Pilot" bumper sticker.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, but I have two great friends who will have babies in 2011.

Would you change anything about yourself now?
Can't change what's happened. Why worry about it?


Was 2010 a good year?
2010 was a very good year

Do you think 2011 will top 2010?

Kissed in the rain?
Yes. Comfest. With Sarah!

Had your heart broken?

Done something you've regretted?
No ... I don't regret, I evolve.

Painted a picture?

Wrote a poem?

Ran a mile?
No. Walked 2.5 miles a couple of times. Rode my bicycle 1.8 miles quite a few days. And other days rode it 21 miles.

Visited a foreign country?

Cut in a line of waiting people?
Yeah, but I'm gangsta like that. I was in and out of Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve twice without ever having stood behind anyone in line.

Told someone you were busy when you weren't?
Ask me about my crippling social anxiety

Cooked a disastrous meal?
Yes. Had a recipe for something in an 8x8 pan and made it in my 9x9.  It pretty much sucked.

Lied about how old you were?

Disappointed someone close?
Yes. But was to take it back, as we learned from "The Green Mile"

Hid a secret?
No. I was seriously honest and open with somethings in my life that had been hidden secrets for far too long and it really felt good to get over them and move on.

Pretended to be happy?

Slept under the stars?
Nope. I have sleep apnea. Camping means we have to have power.

Kept your new years resolution?
Don't make them.

Forgot your new years resolution?
Don't make them.

Pretended to be sick?
Sick days are vacation days, too

Lost something expensive?
No. But I did burn out some sectors on my iPod screen.

Learned something new about yourself?

Stayed up til sunrise?

Cried over the silliest thing?
Yeah, but I always cry when I see babies born.

Spent most of your money on food?
Depends on your definition of food.

Had a fist fight?
No ... but there are several I'd like to punch in the face.

Gotten sick?

Liked more than 5 people at the same time?