Geekboy Holiday Humor

Gifts Geeks Want
  • One year of "no computer questions" from everyone in your family
  • Private show by the remaining cast of Monty Python
  • Simultaneous devolution of all intelligent design proponents into chimpanzees
  • The Sword of a Thousand Truths
  • A "Nuke the RIAA from orbit" button (The type you press, not the type you wear)
  • Charles Babbage's brain in a jar of formaldehyde.
  • Life-sized, fully-functional Bender
  • Star Wars Holiday Special where Jar-Jar gets trampled to death by Santa's eight tiny Wookiees
  • Ten terabyte video iPod nano with expandable screen
  • Guided tour of Area 51
  • Customized Google logo on your birthday

Worst Gifts for Geeks
  • Coupon for 1 Year of Free Computer Service
  • Age of Office Assistants video game
  • Box of floppies
  • Swiss Army Spork
  • "Sodium + Glass of Water" Gift Set
  • A copy of Windows 3.x For Dummies
  • ie51setup.exe
  • Their very own Bonzi Buddy
  • Year's supply of Diet Caffeine-free Mountain Dew
  • AOL membership
  • "Greedo Shot First" T-shirt

Signs It's Christmas in Geekville
  • You hear more chipmunks on the radio than you've *seen* all year
  • Latest installment of Lord of the Rings is available on DVD
  • Stockings are hung by the firewire with care
  • Suddenly everyone is making stupid puns about Red Hat
  • You start seeing pop up ads for Easter Candy
  • People are putting snow tires on their Segways
  • Eggnog in a punch bowl that's the shape of Nog's head, the Ferengi from DS9
  • The special gift tags came back from the printers with 'All your presents are belong to us'
  • Downloading a lot more Christmas carols from bit torrent
  • Object Tree takes on a whole new meaning
  • Start seeing ads for Madden 2008

Ways Geeks Celebrate Christmas
  • Mountain Dew-nog
  • Printing out "One Year of Free Computer Service" certificates to give to the family.
  • Designing elf-killing levels for your favorite FPS.
  • Explaining to children how it would be physically impossible for Santa to deliver all the presents.
  • Wear mistletoe hat and keep fingers crossed.
  • Devise a computer-controlled system to detect and prevent household members from trying peeek into their presents before Christmas.
  • Put a santa hat on your avatar.
  • Change the blue neon lights in the case to flashing red and green.
  • Decorating the tree with SDRAM and CPUs burned out from your last overclocking experiment.
  • 2. Rewriting Christmas carols in Tolkien's Elvish.
  • Programming the christmas lights to flash out "I hate this holiday of unbridled consumerism" in binary.

Rejected Holiday Specials

  • Chewbacca Sings Your Holiday Favorites
  • Kwanzaa with Carrot Top
  • You're a Fucking Consumer, Charlie Brown
  • The Matrix: Re-gifted
  • Santa Conquers the Arabs
  • The Year Without Department Stores
  • Steven Spielberg's E.L.F. (Electronic LifeForm)
  • A Very Hasselhoff Hannukah
  • William Shatner Goes A-Caroling
  • Rudolph the Red-Nosed Coke Fiend
  • An Insane Clown Posse Christmas

Ways Geeks Were Naughty This Year
  • Used GOTO
  • Recommended the use of Internet Explorer
  • Programmed Robosapien to steal
  • Scratched strangers iPod Minis when they weren't looking
  • Started a flame war because they were bored
  • Uploaded mislabelled MP3s of Wham!
  • Didn't ground themselves before working on a friend's PC
  • Used genius for evil, not good
  • Voted for cliché entry in Fark Photoshop
  • Told user that the 'Any Key' was the big button on the case marked 'Power'
  • Recommended review at Tomshardware.com
All content of this post stolen from http://www.bbspot.com. Check it out. Good reading!

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