My 2005 Grammy Picks

The joke that is the Grammys is Wednesday ... here's the truth of the matter:

(Best.Comic.Strip.Ever.) (But don't read it at work)

But with that in mind ... here are the biggest awards they give out ... and my ideas of who should win, and why. I'm curious to see what you think.

UPDATED WITH RESULTS ... GRAMMY WINNERS IN BLUE

RECORD OF THE YEAR (awarded to the performer and producer)
[ ] "We Belong Together," Mariah Carey
[ ] "Feel Good Inc.," Gorillaz Featuring De La Soul
[X] "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams," Green Day
[ ] "Hollaback Girl," Gwen Stefani
[ ] "Gold Digger," Kanye West

Can't listen to Mariah. Or Gwen. Or Kanye. Gorillaz are okay, but Green Day is the great and American Idiot was my 2004 Album of the Year.

SONG OF THE YEAR (awarded to the songwriter)
[ ] "Bless The Broken Road," Bobby Boyd, Jeff Hanna & Marcus Hummon, songwriters (Rascal Flatts)
[ ] "Devils & Dust," Bruce Springsteen, songwriter (Bruce Springsteen)
[ ] "Ordinary People," W. Adams & J. Stephens, songwriters (John Legend)
[X] "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own," U2, songwriters (U2)
[ ] "We Belong Together," J. Austin, M. Carey, J. Dupri & M. Seal, songwriters; (D. Bristol, K. Edmonds, S. Johnson, P. Moten, S. Sully & B. Womack, songwriters) (Mariah Carey)

John Legend's only good song (yeah, the CD blows), but it's not better than U2's obligatory ballad. Again, can't listen to Mariah. Ever. And Rascal Flatts is too predictable a song to win. Bruce? Meh. Don't like the album. Yeah, that's right. Me, the guy with 300 Springsteen bootlegs.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR
[ ] "The Emancipation Of Mimi," Mariah Carey
[ ] "Chaos And Creation In The Backyard," Paul McCartney
[ ] "Love. Angel. Music. Baby.," Gwen Stefani
[X] "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb," U2
[ ] "Late Registration," Kanye West

Can't.Listen.To.Mariah. Or.Gwen. Paul McCartney put out an album? I'll be dammed. Must have sucked. Another legend nominated because he's a legend. Kanye might be good, but not my style. So that leaves U2.

BEST NEW ARTIST
[ ] Ciara
[X] Fall Out Boy
[ ] Keane
[ ] John Legend
[ ] SugarLand

Ciara ... not my style. John Legend ... one good song. Keane ... I like ... but maybe too much to give them the award, because when you win this award it's the quickest way to disappear musically. Past 10 winners: 2005 - Maroon 5 2004 - Evanescence 2003 - Norah Jones 2002 - Alicia Keys 2001 - Shelby Lynne 2000 - Christine Aguilera 1999 - Lauryn Hill 1998 - Paula Cole 1997 - LeAnn Rimes 1996 - Hootie & The Blowfish 'nuff said.

BEST FEMALE POP VOCAL PERFORMANCE
[ ] "It's Like That," Mariah Carey
[ ] "Since U Been Gone," Kelly Clarkson
[ ] "Good Is Good," Sheryl Crow
[X] "I Will Not Be Broken," Bonnie Raitt
[ ] "Hollaback Girl," Gwen Stefani

Bonnie. Redhead. Songwriter. Winner.

BEST POP PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP WITH VOCAL
[ ] "Don't Lie," The Black Eyed Peas
[X] "Mr. Brightside," The Killers [ ] "More Than Love," Los Lonely Boys
[ ] "This Love," Maroon 5
[ ] "My Doorbell," The White Stripes

Tempted to go with "My Doorbell" because it's the first White Stripes song I like ... but "Mr. Brightside" is too catchy.

BEST ROCK PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP WITH VOCAL
[ ] "Speed Of Sound," Coldplay
[X] "Best Of You," Foo Fighters
[ ] "Do You Want To," Franz Ferdinand
[ ] "All These Things That I've Done," The Killers
[ ] "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own," U2

Much better slowed down acoustic, but the released rock version is better than the rest of this pack of nominees.

BEST HARD ROCK PERFORMANCE
[ ] "Doesn't Remind Me," Audioslave
[X] "The Hand That Feeds," Nine Inch Nails
[ ] "Tin Pan Valley," Robert Plant
[ ] "Little Sister," Queens Of The Stone Age
[ ] "B.Y.O.B.," System Of A Down

Robert Plant? Hard Rock? Isn't that like giving this award to Jethro Tull. Oh, wait. That happened. (1989, look it up.)

BEST METAL PERFORMANCE
[ ] "The Great Satan," Ministry
[ ] "Determined," Mudvayne
[ ] "Mein Teil," Rammstein
[ ] "What Drives The Weak," Shadows Fall
[X] "Before I Forget," Slipknot

Meh ... they all sucked.

BEST ROCK SONG (awarded to the songwriter)
[X] "Best Of You," Foo Fighters, songwriters (Foo Fighters)
[ ] "Beverly Hills," Rivers Cuomo, songwriter (Weezer)
[ ] "City Of Blinding Lights," U2, songwriters (U2)
[ ] "Devils & Dust," Bruce Springsteen, songwriter (Bruce Springsteen)
[ ] "Speed Of Sound," Guy Berryman, Jon Buckland, Will Champion & Chris Martin, songwriters (Coldplay)

Gotta go with Dave & the boys here. I love this song, again, slowed down & acoustic. Although "Beverly Hills" was good ... but Coldplay? I know it's a song writing award ... but Coldplay?

BEST ROCK ALBUM
[ ] "X&Y," Coldplay
[X] "In Your Honor," Foo Fighters
[ ] "A Bigger Bang," The Rolling Stones
[ ] "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb," U2
[ ] "Prairie Wind," Neil Young

I'll say it again ... Coldplay? And add this - Rolling Stones? One of the best albums of the year? Legend nominated because they're a legend. Album blows. Hard.

BEST ALTERNATIVE MUSIC ALBUM
[ ] "Funeral," The Arcade Fire
[ ] "Guero," Beck
[X] "Plans," Death Cab For Cutie
[ ] "You Could Have It So Much Better," Franz Ferdinand
[ ] "Get Behind Me Satan," The White Stripes

Beck is okay ... but for the whole album he bores me. Death Cab needs some love.
___________________________________________

I have no basis of voting for any of the Rap/R&B categories.

Because I change the radio when rap or R&B comes on.

Cause I don't like it. But you can't like everything.

And as I see it, you can't spell CRAP without RAP.

But here they are, with the 'winners' in blue.

BEST FEMALE R&B VOCAL PERFORMANCE
[ ] "1 Thing," Amerie
[ ] "Wishing On A Star," Beyonce
[ ] "We Belong Together," Mariah Carey
[ ] "Free Yourself," Fantasia
[ ] "Unbreakable," Alicia Keys


BEST R&B SONG (awarded to the songwriter)
[ ] "Cater 2 U, Rodney Jerkins, Beyonc Knowles, Ricky Lewis, Kelly Rowland, Robert Waller & Michelle Williams, songwriters (Destiny's Child)
[ ] "Free Yourself," Craig Brockman, Missy Elliott & Nisan Stewart, songwriters (Fantasia)
[ ] "Ordinary People," W. Adams & J. Stephens, songwriters (John Legend)
[ ] "Unbreakable," Garry Glenn, Alicia Keys, Harold Lily & Kanye West, songwriters (Alicia Keys)
[ ] "We Belong Together," J. Austin, M. Carey, J. Dupri & M. Seal, songwriters; (D. Bristol, K. Edmonds, S. Johnson, P. Moten, S. Sully & B. Womack, songwriters) (Mariah Carey)


BEST RAP SOLO PERFORMANCE
[ ] "Testify," Common
[ ] "Mockingbird," Eminem
[ ] "Disco Inferno," 50 Cent
[ ] "Number One Spot," Ludacris
[ ] "U Don't Know Me," T.I.
[ ] "Gold Digger," Kanye West


BEST RAP PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP
[ ] "Don't Phunk With My Heart," The Black Eyed Peas
[ ] "The Corner," Common Featuring The Last Poets
[ ] "Encore," Eminem Featuring Dr. Dre & 50 Cent
[ ] "Hate It Or Love It," The Game Featuring 50 Cent
[ ] "Wait (The Whisper Song)," Ying Yang Twins ibid.

BEST RAP SONG (awarded to the songwriter)
[ ] "Candy Shop," Curtis Jackson & Scott Storch, songwriters (50 Cent Featuring Olivia)
[ ] "Diamonds From Sierra Leone," D. Harris & Kanye West, songwriters; (J. Barry & D. Black, songwriters) (Kanye West)
[ ] "Don't Phunk With My Heart," William Adams, Printz Board, Stacy Ferguson & George Pajon, Jr., songwriters; (Kalyanji Anandji, Full Force & Indeewar, songwriters) (The Black Eyed Peas)
[ ] "Hate It Or Love It," Curtis Jackson, A. Lyon, Jayceon Taylor & M. Valenzano, songwriters; (Baker, Felder & Harris, songwriters) (The Game Featuring 50 Cent)
[ ] "Lose Control," M. Elliott, C. Harris & G. Isaacs III, songwriters; (J. Atkins, R. Davis & C. Hudson, songwriters) (Missy Elliott Featuring Ciara & Fat Man Scoop)