The Sound of Sneezing ... a song parody

Once again I'm destroying a great 60's song with one of my weird-ass brain farts.  Sorry, Paul Simon ...

The Sound of Sneezing

Hello head cold, my old friend
You've come to infect me again
Because of you I'm always sneezing
My nose is stuffy I'm not sleeping
And the virus that was planted in my body 
Leaves me snotty
And brings the sound of sneezing

In restless sleep I toss until
I get knocked out by the NyQuil
Beneath the soft glow of the TV
That big sneeze you heard was all me
My nose is stuffed
and my eyes are watering too
All I hear is "Bless you"
Amongst the sound of sneezing

And in the grocery store I saw
Ten thousand remedies maybe more
All I hear is me sneezing
Breathing through my nose is just wheezing
My ears are clogged 
And my tissues are snot-logged
All I hear is the sound of sneezing

"Fools," said I, "You do not know
Head colds like a cancer grow."
Avoid my sneeze is what I teach you
So droplet particulates will not reach you
And wash your hands with hot water and soap
Don't be a dope
Or you'll echo the sound of sneezing

And now I humbly bow and pray
To the green liquid that Vicks made
As my nose gives me a warning
Another big sneeze it is forming
And the words of the prophets are written on the bottle side. 
A font both bold and wide:
A NyQuil coma will silences the sound of sneezing.

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