Despite being a journalist for a period of time in my life, I rarely read the printed paper anymore. (Sorry to my friends still in the business, and apologies to Al Newhearth and the staff at McPaper.) Today, however, Sarah picked up a Vindicator as we're looking for a place to live, and I noticed a help wanted ad. And it made me want to seriously think about a career change.
After reading this little help wanted ad, I've decided it has to be the easiest job in the world:
Wanted: Science teacher at a Christian school.
Think about it. Easiest. Job. EVER!
You can teach your budding Christian scientists everything ... and I mean EVERYTHING ... with a a couple of three-word phrases:
God made it. God made them. God makes it. God makes them. God provides it.
- How'd the galaxy get here? God made it.
- Where did the rocks come from? God made them.
- How does water form? God makes it.
- Where do babies come from? God makes them.
- How do we get friuts from the ground? God provides it.
Or, if you wanna get funny, you can just pull out the Bill Hicks:
If God created all life, why are there dinosaur bones? God put them here to test your faith. God's just fucking with you. Jokester God strikes again. Giant Lizards? Walking the Earth? HA.
Or, you can circle back the easiest job in the world:
God made them.
The final test would be an essay test: Explain the formation of the galaxy and all life on Earth:
Any answer but "God made it." results in failure. And you get to enjoy your summers off.