Grammar Alert: Articles are 'pretentious'

According to ESPN's 57 Rules for College Football Fans ...

9. You are allowed to root freely against the following schools for no specific reasons: Notre Dame; Notre Dame in their puke-green jerseys; Notre Dame when playing on "Triumph of the Will"-shaming propaganda house organ NBC; USC; any school that plays its fight song approximately 4,387 times per game like USC; Michigan; Miami; Ohio State; any school like Ohio State with a pretentious "the" in front of its name, because otherwise how would we know which Ohio State university they were talking about?; any school coached by Steve Spurrier; any school coached by Nick Saban.

Can I get a ruling from the Grammar Police on that? Is that indeed pretentious? Or is the "Entertainment and Sports Programming Network" as they once billed themselves forgetting they once used an article before just becoming ESPN?

Then again, it is ESPN. And they did lose a bunch of highly marketable big games to The Big Ten Network. Which nobody has. Or watches outside of bars.

And ESPN did cave into threats from the NFL to stop production on the 'pro football' show "Playmakers" after it apparently hit too close to home on issues that happen outside of the football field.

And ESPN did turn their back on the NHL and forget it even exists (welcome back to Some-SportsCenter. Here's today's action on the cricket scene).

So basically ... I guess if they want to call it pretentious, who's to stop them? Anyone have Paul Tagliabue's number?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dude, fuck ESPN. Anymore, all of their programming is pretentious self-congratulatory conversational masturbation. Have you ever seen Pardon The Interruption? Rome Is Burning? It's all bullshit. Just a bunch of dudes sitting around patting themselves on the back for having opinions on sports.

And fuck yes, I went to THE Ohio State University. Nothing pretentious about it when it's true.