Offshoring is good food

So I received a 'job notification' in my email today. I did a couple of resume updates, added some skills to get better keyword results ... and sure enough, they're working.

Sort of.

So I saw the email with the job description and started reading it.

Or attempting to read it. It took a while for me to read and deciphered it. After I did, I realized just how badly it was written, including several varying (and all of them incorrect) ways the author used the word requirement. I also then realized that while I may not be actively job searching, I do have requirements for those I search, or who search me.

Mainly, the ability to speak, read and write in English.

Yes, I know, the world is flat. Thank you Thomas Friedman. Yes, I know, offshoring is here to stay. Yes, I know, foreign workers in foreign countries work for less money, which is why a lot of jobs are being offshored.

But recruiting? Really?

Check this opening line from the job posting:

We have following requirement in Columbus,Ohio.

My first thought: OMG. This is an email Boris from Underdog! Yeah. Where's Natasha? (Oh, wait, I just dated myself with an Underdog cartoon reference. Oh, well, seems lately I date myself a lot. Oh, shit, did I just say that out loud? Oh well, at least I know where I've been.)

Anyway ... let's get back to offshoring.

Are native English speakers the only ones who get the concept of articles? (Articles ... parts of speech ... a ... an .... the ... hmmm ... I think Schoolhouse Rock so needed an article song to go with such classics as Conjunction Junction's and ... or ... but .... Schoolhouse Rock was awesome ... back when cartoons were ONLY on Saturday morning ... before cable. (There I go again dating myself.)

Because there's more here that made me laugh. Like the short description:

Perform defect and enhancements under the direction of a Nationwide Lotus Notes Techncial Lead part of the Custom Rapid Solutions team.

How does you perform defect? And how is that a useful skill later in life?

Interviewer: "So tell me about your last job. What did you do?"

Me: "I performed defect and enhancements."

Interviewer: "Okay. Thanks for coming. Next?"

But the closing statement - the one thing that really made me realize they hired the wrong resume searcher to sift through the job boards was this fine piece of writing:

If you are interested for this requirement.Please Send your Updated resume with contact information and rate immediately.

Grammar people ... help me out here. Is that first 'sentence' even a sentence? We have subject + verb (you are). We have the beginnings of an interrogative statement (that's a question, non-grammar people) with IF. But we're missing something.

I believe the appropriate phrase to ask is "And then?"

But sadly we have no "and then."

Offshoring ... it's not just Mexicans making car parts anymore.

New photos ...

From the Semi Precious Weapons Halloween show at the Newport Theater.

Best SPW show of the nine times I've seen. Can't wait to get the pro-shot video and soundboard audio that was taken (Hello? Mike? Brother? Hook me up!)

Wanna see what you missed? Look on my website.

But ... as always ... here's a tease ... click each picture to see it full size.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

Hate me cause I hang with rock stars.

While dressed as a nun.



Hanging with Aaron Tasjan

Hanging with Justin Trantner of Semi Precious Weapons

(BTW, Justin wasn't in costume. He dresses that way every day)

SPW - "We Love You" album review

It never fails ...

I find a band I love ... and then am blown away by a song they've not released yet. Then I can't wait for the CD to come out so I can have that favorite track.

Like "The Great Gravitron Massacre" from Two Cow Garage

Then the CD comes out.

And there's a song I like even better on the disc.

Like "Should've California."

Well, it's happened again.

The Band: Semi Precious Weapons

The Song: "Time Zones"

The CD: "We Love You" hits the shelves on October 30, 2007.

I've had "We Love You" for about a month now. Cause I got connetions. (Not really. I picked it up at their September show in Columbus. And I paid cash for it. And you should, too.)

And before I had the CD, I was so looking forward to the Tony Visconti produced version of "Time Zones" I was drooling. (Yeah, *that* Tony Visconti. The genius who produced amazing albums for David Bowie, T-Rex, Thin Lizzy, The Moody Blues. Adam Ant, and my 1989 Album of the Year, "Change" by the Alarm. Hello "Love Don't Come Easy." Yeah baby.)

Anyway ... back to Semi Precous Weapons and the song I was waiting for ... "Time Zones" ... or, as I referred to it when talking to SPW frontman Justin Tranter, my "Song of the Year, whatever year it's released."

I now have to backdate that to be my "2006 Song of the Year." Because, in my defense, I did get an MP3 of it late late late in 2006 (December 28 the email says) ... cause I do have connections ... so it has to be my 2006 Song of the Year.

Why? Well ... as I said before .... I get the album and found a song that I like even better.

"Genius" (off the forthcoming "We Love You") is my 2007 Song of the Year.

The vote's not even close (Sorry David Ford's "Train" ... you get the silver medal. Thankfully Aaron Lee Tasjan's CD won't be out until 2008.)

Do I like this song? Um ... yeah.

It's one of those pound-the-steering-wheel power-ballads. I know this because I actually dented the Ford emblam in middle of my steering wheel pounding out the beat while driving down the highway rocking out to this song.

The song is dramatic (hello? It's Justin!) ... "They're all gonna question my worth / but I've been a walking statement since birth" to give you a hint of lyrics ... and the bridge ... is .. well, genius:

"Sweet heart I'll let you go
With bloody hands just say you know
We're the love that legends live for
We're the love that don't exist no more"

And the chorus ... again ... show why the song is aptly named:

"Don't tell 'em I'm a genius
Don't tell 'em I mean it
Don't tell 'em how hard I try
Don't tell 'em I'm a genius
Don't tell 'em I mean it
Let me smile while they cry
They'll love us when I die"

The other eight tracks on the CD are a mix of some old favorites from the first two EP's ("The Precious EP" and the "The Magnetic EP" ... both available on iTunes) and new songs that have been favorites at live shows like "Taste" and "Her Hair Is On Fire" and "That's K***" ... a happy little audience participation song about a sweet innocent girl named Holly.

Is is the best album I've purchased in 2007? It's kunt.

'nuff said.

Buy this shit when it comes out. Good music and good musicians need paid.

Sonng & Video of the Day

You ever have that band you might kind of like ... what you've heard on the radio sounded good.

And you meet someone who has that band as one of their top five, ever?

Yeah, me too.

That's how I got into the Alan Parsons Project. Granted, it was a dumb-sounding name for a band who made some great, melodic, hypnotic music with stories ripped from the headlines of mythology, history, and fantasy packaged in a way that was radio friendly without being a sell-out.

My roommate when I was in the air force was a huge Alan Parsons Project fan. He had, at the time, most or all of the cassettes, and we made mix tapes of each other's collections, and he really turned me on to some kick-ass Alan Parson Project songs. This one, however, was one I knew of ... cause it was kind of a hit.

And it just seems fitting to be today's song ... and video ... of the day.

"Eye in the Sky"
The Alan Parsons Project

Don't think sorry's easily said
Don't try turning tables instead
You've taken lots of chances before
But I'm not gonna give anymore
Don't ask me
That's how it goes
Cause part of me knows
What you're thinkin'

Don't say words you're gonna regret
Don't let the fire rush to your head
I've heard the accusations before
And I ain't gonna take any more
Believe me
The sun in your eyes
Made some of the lies worth believing

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don't need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind

Don't leave false illusions behind
Don't cry cause I ain't changing my mind
So find another fool like before
Cause I ain't gonna live anymore
Believing
Some of the lies
While all of the signs
Are deceiving

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don't need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind.

Heh heh heh ... I'm famous. And cool.

Well, here it is ... the blog mentioning how cool I am for being called cool in another blog.

(The blog about me being called other things ... however ... you'll have to wait on. Blank. Stare.)

But be warned ... the link below goes to a comic strip that most people will find offensive. Not this particular panel, but the name of the strip, and most of the rest of the panels ... are rather offensive. Which is why I like it.

And this particular strip is funny because it talks about being sued by the RIAA ... for copyright infringement for using lyrics in the previous comic strip. Odd how my story about my coolness appears below a story about being sued by the RIAA.

(Wait. That's not funny. I don't pirate music. I support musicians. I buy CDs. Really.)

Anyway ... http://officialjesuschrist.com/main.php?strip=247 is the strip.

You've been warned.

(And that's not Charles Manson. His name is Charlie Brown.

And the R ... he's a Robitussin addict.

And the talking bottle of Robitussin is who said, "It takes a nation of muppets to hold us back."

Which is on the shirt.

Which I wore to a party.

At a hotel.

That was also hosting a meeting of the Islamic Temple.

With a nun outside the hotel trying to convert the "godless heathens."

I so know how to party.

Cause I'm that cool.

Which is why I get written about on other blogs.

Some of which I'm too spineless to mention ... but I survive nonetheless.)

Song of the Day

The Clarks
"You Know Everything"

You lift me up to knock me down
But I don't want to play your game
I'm giving back this thorny crown
And there'll be no one else to blame

I used to think you had a heart
Then you picked up that poison pen
I should have known right from the start
That all good things come to an end

I'm not gonna waste my precious time
I know I'm never gonna change your mind

Cause you know everything
You know everything
You know everything

You hung my pictures on the wall
But nothing in this world is free
Now you won't even catch my fall
It's murder in the first degree

I've been torn up I've been knocked down
That's all you ever meant to do
You've taken back your thorny crown
Now you be me and I'll be you

Pot. Kettle. Black.

So apparently Ticketmaster is in a huff over someone or something scalping tickets online.

Hmmm.

Their complaint is this company is using a proxy to bypass the line waiting for tickets thereby taking the premium seats out of pot that goes to the general public for purchase.

Thereby forcing those who want good seats to pay scalper prices.

Oh, wait.

Doesn't Ticketmaster *encourage* that with their own system of TicketExchange that allows you to scalp them ON THEIR OWN SITE?

Yes, they do. Click the "buy from fans" tab next time you can't get tickets for the event you want to see. And lube up, cause those 'fans' are uh ... not very fanly.

But what's even worse - and makes Ticketmaster look like the corporate whores they are ... their 'premium seat auctions' that sell tickets at a, well, premium.

Like, say, the Hannah Montana tour that's all the rage these days.

The opening night is October 18 in St. Louis.

The highest priced face-value ticket is $63.50

But the 'premium seat auction' ON THEIR WEBSITE ... is listed ....

Not double the face value.

Not triple the face value.

Not even ten times face value.

We're talking Ticketmaster is selling the seats they bitch scalpers are taking for nearly 20 times the face value (18.97 to be exact).

Yeah.

Front row seats to see a 14-year-old Disney star, the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, are being whored out by Ticketmaster for ... get this ...

$1,205.

EACH.

(probably plus fees. And convenience charge. [when has getting ass-raped by company - either Ticketmaster or the venue - ever been a 'convenience' worth paying for? Why not be honest and call it the "Fuck it, you wanna come, you'll pay any fee we charge you" fee. I prefer honesty from those who fuck me. I'm petty like that].)

So in light of all that ... Ticketmaster has the balls to say they're pissed off about scalpers?

Pot. Kettle. Black-as-fucking-coal.

I don't say it often, but Ticketmaster is, by all accounts, a bunch of cock-sucking monkey fuckers.

Unless it's someone I NEED to see ... I don't buy from Ticketmaster.

Fuck those fucking fuckers.

Holiday wishes

To my Canadian friends ...

Happy Thanksgiving. Send me some MacIntosh Toffee. Bars, not the drops.



To my American friends ...

Happy Columbus Day. If you're a banker, postal worker or government employee, enjoy your Monday off.



To my socially conscious friends ...

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day. Now move on to your next complaint. Cause you always have them.



To those pissed off about the whole Columbus Day thing ...

Happy European Invasion of the Western Hemisphere Day

(and get over it, shit happened in 1492, as the song says. You can't change it.)

Random Thoughts

The German Women's Soccer Team won the Women's World Cup. Anyone aware it was even going on?

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First US Report on Blackwater shooting outsourced to... Blackwater. Nice.From cnn.com — A Blackwater contractor wrote an initial U.S. government report about how his colleagues killed Iraqi civilians in a September shooting that strained U.S.-Iraqi relations. Darren Hanner, drafted a two-page "spot report" on the letterhead of the Bureau of Diplomatic Security, which outsourced positions to Blackwater and another private firm.

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Want the new 7.10 version of Ubuntu? http://shipit.ubuntu.com/ (BTW, it's awesome. And free. And they name the release by the year and the month, so 7.10 is October 2007)

I'm currently dual-booting between Vista 64-bit and Ubuntu 7.04. I gotta tell you ... 64-bit computing f'n ROCKS.

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Gee, good thing I don't have AT&T DSL for my high-speed, right? AT&T has rolled out new Terms of Service for its DSL service that leave plenty of room for interpretation. From our reading of it, in concert with several others, what we see is a ToS that attempts to give AT&T the right to disconnect its own customers who criticize the company on blogs or in other online settings.

In section 5 of its legal ToS, AT&T stipulates the following:

AT&T may immediately terminate or suspend all or a portion of your Service, any Member ID, electronic mail address, IP address, Universal Resource Locator or domain name used by you, without notice, for conduct that AT&T believes (a) violates the Acceptable Use Policy; (b) constitutes a violation of any law, regulation or tariff (including, without limitation, copyright and intellectual property laws) or a violation of these TOS, or any applicable policies or guidelines, or (c) tends to damage the name or reputation of AT&T, or its parents, affiliates and subsidiaries.

Cause ... well, I ranted on them once.

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Well, this will be an interesting lawsuit soon to be filed in the Commonwealth of Pennsyl-tucky. From outside of Philly ... apparently a woman ran her legs over at a drive thru.

PHOENIXVILLE — The Phoenixville Police Department is investigating a freak accident in which a borough woman ran over both of her legs in the drive-through lane at McDonald’s, 651 Nutt Rd., Friday afternoon.

According to Cpl. Pat Mark, a black Chevrolet Blazer, driven by a 53-year-old borough woman, was in the drive-thru lane at McDonald’s around 1:55 p.m. September 28.

“For some unknown reason, her legs were run over by her vehicle,” said Mark. “We are investigating how this accident could’ve happened.”

What police are trying to determine is how the woman exited her vehicle and how her vehicle rolled over both legs.

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And finally ... oh how the times have changed. From a published article in an industry magazine published during World War II ... 11 Tips on How to Handle Women Employees.

From the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine -- apparently this was quite serious at the time and written for male supervisors who had to deal with women in the work force during World War II.

There is no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.

Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters. They are less likely to be flirtatious. They need the work, or they would not be doing it. They still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.



2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It is always well to impress upon older women, the importance of friendliness and courtesy.



3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even-tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.



4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but also reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses that would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.



5. Stress, at the outset, the importance of time; the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.



6. Give the female employee a definite daylong schedule of duties so that they will keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.



7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.



8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.



9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they cannot shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.



10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she will grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.



11. Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point cannot be stressed too much in keeping women happy.