Offshoring is good food

So I received a 'job notification' in my email today. I did a couple of resume updates, added some skills to get better keyword results ... and sure enough, they're working.

Sort of.

So I saw the email with the job description and started reading it.

Or attempting to read it. It took a while for me to read and deciphered it. After I did, I realized just how badly it was written, including several varying (and all of them incorrect) ways the author used the word requirement. I also then realized that while I may not be actively job searching, I do have requirements for those I search, or who search me.

Mainly, the ability to speak, read and write in English.

Yes, I know, the world is flat. Thank you Thomas Friedman. Yes, I know, offshoring is here to stay. Yes, I know, foreign workers in foreign countries work for less money, which is why a lot of jobs are being offshored.

But recruiting? Really?

Check this opening line from the job posting:

We have following requirement in Columbus,Ohio.

My first thought: OMG. This is an email Boris from Underdog! Yeah. Where's Natasha? (Oh, wait, I just dated myself with an Underdog cartoon reference. Oh, well, seems lately I date myself a lot. Oh, shit, did I just say that out loud? Oh well, at least I know where I've been.)

Anyway ... let's get back to offshoring.

Are native English speakers the only ones who get the concept of articles? (Articles ... parts of speech ... a ... an .... the ... hmmm ... I think Schoolhouse Rock so needed an article song to go with such classics as Conjunction Junction's and ... or ... but .... Schoolhouse Rock was awesome ... back when cartoons were ONLY on Saturday morning ... before cable. (There I go again dating myself.)

Because there's more here that made me laugh. Like the short description:

Perform defect and enhancements under the direction of a Nationwide Lotus Notes Techncial Lead part of the Custom Rapid Solutions team.

How does you perform defect? And how is that a useful skill later in life?

Interviewer: "So tell me about your last job. What did you do?"

Me: "I performed defect and enhancements."

Interviewer: "Okay. Thanks for coming. Next?"

But the closing statement - the one thing that really made me realize they hired the wrong resume searcher to sift through the job boards was this fine piece of writing:

If you are interested for this requirement.Please Send your Updated resume with contact information and rate immediately.

Grammar people ... help me out here. Is that first 'sentence' even a sentence? We have subject + verb (you are). We have the beginnings of an interrogative statement (that's a question, non-grammar people) with IF. But we're missing something.

I believe the appropriate phrase to ask is "And then?"

But sadly we have no "and then."

Offshoring ... it's not just Mexicans making car parts anymore.

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