Dear Hall and Oates - Please don't break up.

(Editor’s Note: I Don’t Want To Lose You and have you Running From Paradise from the beginning, so let me explain: This is a writing exercise I like to do. I take an artist who’s in the news, study their catalog, and write a funny story about it, using the titles of their songs as the direction and flow of the story. So, that being said, everything in Bold is a Hall and Oates song title. This is the third “Song Title Related Blog” I’ve written. And this is a parody. When The Morning Comes, please don’t sue me Hall and/or Oates. I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do). And while Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid … Wait For Me, for I Wasn’t Born Yesterday, I’m Starting All Over Again with Hall & Oates! I’m Sorry.)

I am a huge fan of 70’s bands tunes verse the music from that same artist in the 1980s, more importantly, the post-MTV 80’s.  See Chicago as a partial example, but that band had a void after the unintentional suicide of Terry Kath (see his documentary on Amazon Prime) and the ego of Peter Cetera, who I fucking hate. Better yet, listen to “Songs In The Key of Life” by Stevie Wonder, then spend the rest of your life hating “I Just Called To Say I Love You” like the rest of us do.  As a Cab Driver between jobs (a.k.a. I was doing Uber/Lyft), I had an amazing 70’s playlist full of great classics. And a feature on that great list was a duo:  Daryl Hall and John Oates.

Darly Hall & John Oates had some Sacred Songs. The’d make Sara Smile. They’d Take Christmas Back when I really hated Christmas, which was most of the time. But some songs make it okay.  Some may Say It Isn’t So, about your break-up, but I think you guys have been Alone Too Long and should get Back Together Again so we can Bank On Your Love and live that Downtown Life. Do It For Love, or Do What You Want, Be What You Are.

And if you’re Out of Touch with what’s going on, it’s no big deal. I’m here to catch you up. Besides, Who Said The World Was Fair? But this story? It’s Uncanny. On the surface, It’s A Laugh. They tried to talk about it One on One but that didn’t work. Neither did Mano A Mano. (Oh, wait, that’s the same thing but it’s two different songs Hall & Oates songs. This is me playing chess, you checkers playing fine readers of this piece.) John thinks Daryl doesn’t understand the Love Train that is the Method of Modern Love corporations are showing established artists. Everywhere I Look, big names are selling part of or all of their musical catalogs and for some (I’m looking at you, Dylan), original master tapes, for hundreds of millions of dollars. Ain’t No Smoke Without Fire looking at those numbers, and John was smoking at numbers enough to see a lot of popular 1970s musicians who are Nothing At All these days make some serious cash. Sometimes this is the original lineup cashing out, sometimes this could be last surviving singer singing songs they probably didn’t write (Looking at you, Chicago) with basically a tribute band who’s your Portable Radio because some people have a Possession Obsession with the oldies and can’t move on. (I’m looking at Dave Matthews Band followers here.) John feels this is a Missed Opportunity, so he’s a Man on a Mission to bring that Love TKO to get paid.  Doesn’t matter What’s In Your World, sometimes, Promises Ain’t Enough, for Someone Like You. And John is looking to protect future John.

Daryl had a hit post Hall and Oates with Live From  Daryl’s House, which was like Adult Education for GenZ during COVID because Daryl Can’t Stop The Music (He Played It Much Too Long), while for John, apparently The Sky Is Falling and he's hurting financially, apparently. 

John has Crazy Eyes for that money, but Daryl thinks he’s living in Dreamtime, and that’s caused a rift. Daryl filed a lawsuit against his former musical counterpart, John, in November 2023. Prior to the lawsuit, Hall alluded to there being a rift between himself and his musical partner, who used to be So Close, when he explained: “Perceptions changed, life changed, everything changed. I’m more interested in pursuing my own world. And so is John.”

Oh man, this can’t be The Way You Do The Things You Do. Daryl once said to John, Talking To You Is Like Talking To Myself, and that everything they did was like riding on a Love Train and as a songwriting partner, You Make My Dreams. But it seems like, lately, for Daryl, You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’.

(I’m Sorry if this gets weird. I’m In a Philly Mood. And other than the Dirty Bastards in Orange (Philthadelphia Flyers for you non-hockey fans), I love me som Philly.  

But anyway, this is not just Your Imagination, but here's what I imagine Daryl saying to John:

Dear John:  Wherever Would I Be without finding out The Night Before Christmas when It Came Upon a Midnight Clear that Ooh Child, this whole thing of "Hall and Oates" is Out of Me, Out of You. Like Bruce and Clarence kissing on stage, I thought forever I'd have your Kiss Is On My List. Wow. I also said that to a girl in college. That did not work as a pick-up line. Note to self: She’s Gone. And now you are tol Time to retire that line. 

But back to us. I think it's over. Wait, I know it is.  So, I guess it’s Stop Loving Me, Stop Loving You. And really, Why Do Lovers sometimes end up like this? I got a little story about that. It goes something like this:

"John: Do you remember our first trip to Barbados? Carmelia, the Bebop Drop transgirl that had you Dance On Your Knees to those Deep River Blues? You deny it now, but truth be told? You Did It In A Minute. I know. you have no Foolish Pride. But you know I’m a Family Man and I'm, not judging here because you are free to love who you love, but dude, you’re a Maneater. 

"But Don’t Change, Don’t Hold Back Your Love and know that Everytime You Go Away, I Can Dream About You, What you don't know, is when you're gone, I dream I ama A Lonely Girl, and I know All You Want Is Heaven. John, I’m Forever For You, I’m the driver of your Getaway Car. We’re going to Gloryland (The Official Them song of World Cup USA 1994), where I’m taking you and My Girl (gotta keep up appearances) to see our favorite EMD act Perkiomen. You once asked me if I was tempted by fruit of another (STOP IT: Save that shit for the Squeeze blog you’re working on), but I said my eyes? My Eyes For You (Ain’t No Doubt About It). The first time I saw you? I’m Falling. I was hoping you would Help Me Find A Way To Your Heart, and when you told me you’d be Home For Christmas I said Goodnight and Good Morning. How Does It Feel To Be Back? I’m home from college, you’re home from the Army, we’re really The Prince and the Soldier. I hired some Private Eyes, I knew when we met you I knew your mom was a Rich Girl and I felt like I’d be part of a squad, like your casual friends as in I’ll Be Around, ya know, If That’s What Makes You Happy. Turns out you only wanted that whore from New Jersey. Ya know why Jersey girls don’t get picked up? Jersey girls ain’t trash.

It was fun, John, But we gotta break up. 

So, there's 89 song titles from Daryl Hall and John Oates in blog format.  And Since it's December, remember that not only do we have Hall & Oates doing Jingle Bell Rock (notice: Not bold), but a version of each of them solo exists. Check out Jingle Bell Rock From Daryl and Jingle Bell Rock from John.

BOOM! All 91 songs found on Tunster.com for Hall and Oates including Christmas songs and covers.

You’re welcome..