Yee Haw ... Kentucky Here I Come

Starting next week, I'm going to be working out of our new Data Center in Florence, Kentucky, for the next couple of weeks taking care of some projects that need caught up. I was getting ready to fill out the security paperwork (this data center has armed guards, for reals!) and was given this ... apparently the 'temporary' part of my assignment missed the paper pushers and they sent me the permanent resident package:

STATE OF KENTUCKY RESIDENCY APPLICATION

 Name: _______________  (_) Billy-Bob
         (last)        (_) Billy-Joe
                       (_) Billy-Ray
                       (_) Billy-Sue
                       (_) Billy-Mae
                       (_) Billy-Jack
                       (Check appropriate box)

  Age: ____

  Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A

  Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right


Occupation:
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Un-employed


Spouse's Name: __________________________

 Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet


Number of children living in household: ___

Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________

Father's Name: _______________________
               (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?
  (Check appropriate box)

__ Total number of vehicles you own
__ Number of vehicles that still crank
__ Number of vehicles in front yard
__ Number of vehicles in back yard
__ Number of vehicles on cement blocks


Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed


Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194__


Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes (_) No; please explain:


Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun


___ Number of times you've seen a UFO

___ Number of times you've seen Elvis

___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO


How often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Not Applicable


Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)N/A


Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man


How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don't know