Dumbasses in the News

OH, before we start ... I'll have a special guest blogger on Saturday ... none other than my mother.

So be nice to her. Or I'll cut ya.

Now, on to Dumbasses in the News, Part 1:

Dateline Vacaville, California: South Park Imitates Real Life

"A music teacher at Foxboro Elementary School in Vacaville, Calif., was previously a woman, according to KCRA.com. But she returned as a man at the beginning of the new school year in September.

Some parents were outraged, saying they felt it was their right to know."

Um, hello? So a transgendered woman had sexual reassignment surgery and is now a man.

Hell, outside of ditching Mr. Slave cause he's a fag and now that she's a woman she wants a man, not a fag, Mrs. Garrison didn't change much else.

But that scared 15 families enough to pull their 23 kids out of music into physical education classes?

Good. Let them build muscle. The world needs ditch diggers ... one can only hope that's higher in the brain pool than their parents.

Just cause they change the package (wait, that's probably a bad choice of words) ... the outside ... the gifted, concerned, talented music teacher is still there.

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Dumbasses in the News, Part 2:

Dateline Nebraska ... Your Elected assholes Officials At Work

Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers, a Dumbacrat Democrat, is considering appealing a law suit that was dismissed when he sued God for threatening him and the people of Nebraska and for inflicting "widespread death, destruction and terrorisation of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants.

The suit was dismissed by a judge with prejudice, meaning it cannot be refiled, because there was no known, verifiable address for God to serve the legal papers to him.

Chambers claims since God is omniscient, and knows everything, God is aware of the lawsuit and would appear if a trail date was set.

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Dumbasses in the News, Part 3:

Vice King President Dick Cheney was treated for an irregular heartbeat, again. Really, I think it was firmware upgrade to the Cheney-bot, because he can't possibly have a heart.

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Dumbasses in the News, Part 4:

From the PETA Files (People Eat Tasty Animals) ... Jennifer Thornburg is now known as CutoutDissection.com ... legally ... to protest the dissection of animals in classrooms.

BTW, she's interning for PETA.

BTW, her father supports her in the name change.

BTW, stupid people surround us, daily.

Sigh.

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Dumbasses in the News, Part 5:

Apparently, there are no greater issues in England right now than someone being offended by a photo of the soon-to-be-divorced Madonna that's part of a display at an art gallery. So once again, I look forward to when the United Federation of Planets implements the Prime Directive so the Needs of the Many outweigh the Whines of The View (yeah, I took some poetic license with my interpretation). Police are investigating the photo of is posing on a cross with a halo of thorns on.

All of this has happened before, all of this will happen again ... "Last year police launched a similar investigation after the gallery displayed a bronze statue of Buddha next to an arrangement of a banana and two eggs. Gallery staff agreed to turn the statue inwards so that the banana and eggs could not be seen by passers-by."

Way to go England!

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Dumbasses in the News, Part 6:

The operators of the local liquor store store in Payson, Arizona

And no, that's not a photochop: The Town of Payson is located approximately ninety minutes North of Phoenix, AZ, in the heart of Arizona's Rim Country. And it's listed in the Yellow Pages.