The Unavailing on Otiose

Following yesterday's post linking to Courtney Love's ... discussion about the MTV Video Music Awards (wherein discussion is equal to, as Tim Easton says, "... fourth grade, mumbly slang, stream of consciousness jive ...") today I bring you something even funnier.

Imagine if there was an awards show that was so outragelously overproduced as to give out ten awards in a four-hour, twenty-minute time frame that serves as nothing more than fancy wrappers (complete with rappers) around more than 90 minutes of commercials and jokes from some obscure British 'humourist' who went to work in England dressed as Osama Bin Laden on September 12, 2001.

Then imagine that awards show was the baby and braintrust of a network that has nothing to do with the genre of entertainment the show is 'awarding'.

To simplify: Imagine if Fox News was promoting, producing and presenting the Gay Adult Video Awards and Bill O'Reilly shows up dressed as Barack Obama in drag.

Then, if all of that's not funny enough, imagine glowing and ridiculous amounts of positive press coverage both in print and online, provided by a magazine-turned-news-entity that has become a part and parcel product whore of the very landscape it was created to mock. A concept so far beyond the founding intent it should be called Boring Shill.

Yes, friends, welcome to Rolling Stone's coverage of the MTV 2008 Video Music Awards. Various links on their website show photos of Britney Spears and Kid Rock. Both who have added so much to the musical landscape lately. Her bad mama drama and pregnant 15-year-old sister and high as a kite on a combination of cocaine and fish tranquelizer uninspired performance at the 2007 VMA's got her this return gig and three awards? And his "All Summer Long" song - a blatent rip-off Lynard Skynrd he took to the top of the British charts? Please. Oh, and Jordan Sparks, the Pusscat Dolls and the Jonas Brothers, et. al.? American Idol winner, some strip-club failures, Disney Rockers, two heaps of trailer trash (Spears/Rock) and a mountain of rap that's ... well, rap?? And people wonder why I don't listen to the radio or give two shits about popular music.

What a total farce both Rolling Stone and MTV are. At least it gave them both something else to talk about ... MTV got a five-and-a-half hour break from reality shows (long show plus pre-show); Rolling Stone took at least four reporters out of Obama's colon to cover the show.
As Bill Hicks said, they're all suckers of Satan's cock.

Yet, just when I'm about to give up all hope, somehow, some blogger for Rolling Stone nailed the show as complete and total shit. But since there's no name listed, it's either some oldtimer at RS eating the one-half of one percent of integrity they've kept in a jar from the 70's, or the guy got fired and they're trying to keep his name out of it so he can get a job elsewhere.)

(I promise, last link to a VMA story of the year)

Didn't Kanye West say he'd never come back to the VMA's? Yet, he did. Lying whore.

(BTW ... the complete Tim Easton lyric, from "Poor Poor LA" of the "Break Your Mother's Heart" album is:
"A pack of dull monkeys could write circles around,
That fourth grade, mumbly slang,
Stream of consciousness, jive that you call a song.
Is that going to be your story?"

And for the record, the rumor has it ... that's directly aimed at Jeff Tweedy of Wilco. I'm just sayin' ... a couple of anonymous sources close to Tim Easton have pointed that out to me.)

No comments: