Handing out F-Bombs

A Rant in Three Parts:

Part One - Shut The Fuck Up, Bitch.

To the three annoying hipster bitches who parked themselves in front of me during the Tony Scheer performance last night at Rumba Cafe: Shut the fuck up.

To their annoying friend who arrived late and then had to talk over them - and the music - and bitch that she couldn't hear the basketball game ... Shut the fuck up. Yeah, your haircut is darling. Now shut the fuck up. Yes, the beer is cold. Would you please shut the fuck up. Yeah, the weather sucks. Please ... I'm starting to get angry here ... Shut.The.Fuck.Up. I'm glad your jobs is awesome. I wish you though silence was too. I really don't care that you're excited to see the "Sex in the City" movie. SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

When I finally leaned into your personal space and said, "Uh, could you shut the fuck up so I can hear the music?" the look on your face was something I wished I could have taken a picture of. As for taking my seat when I went to the bathroom - and then giving me a nasty look when I reached between you and your friend to get my beer ... you're lucky my elbow didn't 'accidentally' find it's way to your face. While I'd like to say it's because I'm not a big fan of hitting anyone for any reason, in reality I was afraid you'd bite my arm off due to the voracity your jaws were flapping.

Part Two - Put a Cork in it, Corky

I'm so glad you and your friends are trying to spam my blog because TWO YEARS AGO I said your band sucked. Ego-surfing's a bitch, huh? But saying I look gay? That's such a 4th grade insult. I'd ask what gays look like, but you'd probably use the required playground comeback of "you." Dude, grow the fuck up. Instead of emailing me, why don't you give yourself a cock-punch in your cock-punch blog? You've earned it. Arguing on the innernets is like the special olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded. Shut the fuck up ... and fuck you. And your shitty band.

Part Three - Items of General Stupidity

Yesterday I read two things that make me pray for a virus that kills those with IQ's below 100:

The first was an article in the LA Times about how some West Virginians view Barack Obama, with this quote from someone who still waiting for the 1950's to come back:

"I've got 50-some guns, and I wasn't crazy about Obama's talk about small towns," said Sam Vetter, 64, a farmer and lifelong Democrat who regrets voting for Bush in 2000. "Besides," he added, "Obama just doesn't sound right for an American president."

Yeah, don't pay any attention to his ability to unite a country, change how campaigns are won, don't attempt to read any of his plans for America and how to fix the messes of the past eight years ... and derail Hillary's exepcted coronation in 2008 ... he just don't have a 'merican soundin' name (spit). How this clown managed to stop finger-banging his daughter put that many words together and have enough money to buy "50-some guns" is beyond me. Why anyone would need "50-some guns" is beyond me too. Come to think of it ... how he can count to 50 baffles my mind, too.

Shut the fuck up, you inbred, racist, hillbilly fuck.

The second was something I saw posted on the bulletin board at work about how to spend your IRS Rebate Check:

"If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If we spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.

If we purchase a computer, it will go to India.

If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

If we purchase a good car, it will go to Japan.

If we purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

And none of this will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America

The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it at YARD SALES, since those are the only businesses still in the United States of America."

I have no idea who came up with this bit of genius (heavy sarcasm), but it's obvious you know nothing about economics. We get less than 30 percent of our oil from "the Arabs." As for your claim YARD SALES are the way to stimulate the economy? I'm gonna suggest Corky give you a cock-punch. That's just shuffling the money between people, not stimulating the economy. I'd explain it, but your head would explode.

Shut the fuck up and take an economics class before posting your next missive. As for the racist tone that Japanese build better cars, only Mexicans pick fruit and Indians (dot not feather) build computers ... I think your kin from back in the holler of West Virginia needs help extracting his finger from his sister/wife.