There's nothing quite like the unexpected sensation and whirlwind of thoughts when someone comes up behind you, unseen, and softly whispers in your ear.
The sensation is kinda like that roller-coaster feeling.
The thoughts are too: Kinda like the word "Dude" - there are so many ways it can go.
GOOD: "Duuuuuude" as in like - Duuuuuude - haven't seen you in forever.
BAD: "DUDE" as in like - DUDE - WHAT?
UGLY: "Dude?" as in like - Dude? - you behind the door with a knife?
So when someone you can't see comes up behind you and whispers in your ear - unexpectedly - lots of things run through your mind before the words even register.
Especially when the phrase "Are you on your way to work?" is whispered in your ear.
By another man.
A man you can't see, and odds are, don't know.
A man who's not afraid to be whispering in another man's ear in a public place.
Like, say, Dunkin Donuts, in New Castle, Pennsylvania, where I was, getting coffee, this morning.
This week, I'm hanging out in New Castle. I'm house-sitting for my ex-wife, taking care of the zoo (three dogs, two cats, one kitten, two guinea pigs, some fish, and a hamster that's currently on the lamb ... and was before I arrived). The ex and her hubby and the kids are on vacation in Ocean City, so I'm the zookeeper. Bums me out that you can see a Dunkin Donuts from their front porch, eh?
So this morning, as I'm standing in line at that Dunkin Donuts waiting to order my iced coffee, a man I've never met before whispered "Are you on your way to work?" in my ear.
As friends and regular readers know, I've had interesting experiences in neighboring states receiving offers from strangers who wanna be, well, neighborly, in a manner of speaking.
Like my encounter with a midget in a bathroom in Beckly, West Virginia.
So when a strange man whispered "Are you on your way to work?" in my ear this morning ... lets just say I was thinking both the BAD and the UGLY ... a combination of 'did you just ask me that' and 'I hope you're not behind me wanting to put a knife - or anything else - into my body.'
Because I was on my way to work ... I simply say "Yes" without questioning his motives. After all, it was about 7:45 a.m., I'm in Dunkin getting a coffee in some off-white pants and an orange polo shirt looking very business casual. He's looking rather comfy in his blue shorts and blue shirt, both bearing the distinctive markings of the US Postal Service.
And rumor has it, those mail carriers deliver the goods.
But since I'm not gay, I just said "Yes."
After my answer, he again leaned in close to me and whispered in the same ear, "I just wanted to tell you" ... he paused ... and continued, "your shirt's on inside out."
He then turned and headed out the door, his coffee in hand.
"Thanks" I said to his departing shadow, hanging my head, laughing to myself, and heading towards the bathroom with my cool, dark iced coffee and warm, red cheeks.
The sensation is kinda like that roller-coaster feeling.
The thoughts are too: Kinda like the word "Dude" - there are so many ways it can go.
GOOD: "Duuuuuude" as in like - Duuuuuude - haven't seen you in forever.
BAD: "DUDE" as in like - DUDE - WHAT?
UGLY: "Dude?" as in like - Dude? - you behind the door with a knife?
So when someone you can't see comes up behind you and whispers in your ear - unexpectedly - lots of things run through your mind before the words even register.
Especially when the phrase "Are you on your way to work?" is whispered in your ear.
By another man.
A man you can't see, and odds are, don't know.
A man who's not afraid to be whispering in another man's ear in a public place.
Like, say, Dunkin Donuts, in New Castle, Pennsylvania, where I was, getting coffee, this morning.
This week, I'm hanging out in New Castle. I'm house-sitting for my ex-wife, taking care of the zoo (three dogs, two cats, one kitten, two guinea pigs, some fish, and a hamster that's currently on the lamb ... and was before I arrived). The ex and her hubby and the kids are on vacation in Ocean City, so I'm the zookeeper. Bums me out that you can see a Dunkin Donuts from their front porch, eh?
So this morning, as I'm standing in line at that Dunkin Donuts waiting to order my iced coffee, a man I've never met before whispered "Are you on your way to work?" in my ear.
As friends and regular readers know, I've had interesting experiences in neighboring states receiving offers from strangers who wanna be, well, neighborly, in a manner of speaking.
Like my encounter with a midget in a bathroom in Beckly, West Virginia.
So when a strange man whispered "Are you on your way to work?" in my ear this morning ... lets just say I was thinking both the BAD and the UGLY ... a combination of 'did you just ask me that' and 'I hope you're not behind me wanting to put a knife - or anything else - into my body.'
Because I was on my way to work ... I simply say "Yes" without questioning his motives. After all, it was about 7:45 a.m., I'm in Dunkin getting a coffee in some off-white pants and an orange polo shirt looking very business casual. He's looking rather comfy in his blue shorts and blue shirt, both bearing the distinctive markings of the US Postal Service.
And rumor has it, those mail carriers deliver the goods.
But since I'm not gay, I just said "Yes."
After my answer, he again leaned in close to me and whispered in the same ear, "I just wanted to tell you" ... he paused ... and continued, "your shirt's on inside out."
He then turned and headed out the door, his coffee in hand.
"Thanks" I said to his departing shadow, hanging my head, laughing to myself, and heading towards the bathroom with my cool, dark iced coffee and warm, red cheeks.
1 comment:
Kudos to that dude if, in fact, he was actually trying to freak you out a little. If not, then perhaps he's just inherently creepy.
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