Now I Don't Wanna Go Off On A Rant ... But ...

For the most part, I'm a fairly laid-back guy who's pretty easy to get along with, as long as you understand the basics of life:

1. Know your role.

2. Stay in your lane.

3. Show your work.

4. Do your job.

Sometimes, as Mary Chapin Carpenter said, that's too much to hope for, but not too much to ask.

Unless you work for the U.S. Postal Service in the Niles branch and your name is Jamie. With an E (remember that, because it matters). Jamie apparently doesn't know her role as a public servant. She couldn't show her work because she wouldn't do her job. But she damn sure stayed in her lane of abject apathy you find in almost all long-time union-protected governmental employees. In fact, it's what some of them are known for. 

Here's the situation:  Allie and I are getting our passports for a cruise in 2018. We filled out the application online, printed it out, got our photos taken, had our birth certificates and copies of our ID as required by the easy-to-follow instructions on the Department of State's very informative website.

All we needed to do was have an official from the U.S. Postal Service check the documents out, fill in a couple of info boxes, verify we are who we are, that the photo presented are actually photos of us, have us affirm we are U.S. Citizens and watch as we sign in the box swearing as much, take $270 ($110 each for the passport that goes to the federal government, $25 each for processing that is the local fee) and ship our paperwork off to be molded by more long-time union-protected governmental employees.

"We only do this by appointment," she said, after calling a ginger guy over to help the ONLY OTHER PERSON in the post office at 11:05 on a Saturday morning, "and we don't take appointments after 10:45 because it takes 30 minutes per person."  I explained that we had everything the law stated we needed to have. Everything, that is, except a willing postal employee to process the documents for us.

She continued, "We only do this by appointment. I have an appointment today after hours for two people because they take so long." Immediately, my brain is like "Since when does ANYONE who works at an actual Post Office (not letter carriers), especially Niles, do ANYTHING for ANYONE after regular business hours? Shit. You walk up at 12:00:02 on a Saturday and the door is locked."

"There's no where on the official State Department's passport page listing you as an official passport application acceptance office that says you only take appointments, or we would have made an appointment. We waited to come here on Saturday so we could do this together," I explained nicely to her. "It's not like I'm holding up a line or anything. It's 11:10, you don't have another appointment until AFTER you close, so you have time."

"No. You have to make an appointment," she said, flatly refusing to listen to my reasoning. Yep, She was staying firmly in her lane as a long-time union-protected governmental employee. Having worked for the State of Ohio, I know the pose, the posture and that she wasn't going to process our paperwork on this chilly, but sunny Saturday morning.

It was 11:12.  That's when I was done. Done with her, done with her less-than-helpful attitude and decided to let her know, albeit without the destruction of governmental property, because that's how you get arrested at a post office.

So I looked at her, picked up our envelope of stuff and said, "Ya know what? FUCK YOU. Every single time I come into this postal facility it is nothing but a gigantic pain in the ass, and it's always you. Is it too much to ask for you to do your fucking job? APPARENTLY.!" and turned to walk out. The ginger kid waiting on the only other customer was laughing in that "don't wanna get caught laughing at this bitch getting told off" laugh. 

We leave. I get in the car and fire up the Google machine to look up where else you can get passport applications processed on a Saturday. Apparently, about every single post office in Trumbull County does them, but only Canfield, Poland and North Lima will do them in Mahoning County. Since we were already in Trumbull County, I see that Warren's Main Post Office can do them. Allie says, "You better call first."  So I do. And a friendly voice answers the call. I ask Melissa if they can accept two passport applications today. She says, "Sure. We do walk-up on Saturdays until 12:30 p.m. so come on over."  I said, "Wow. Can you teach those idiots in Niles how to do that?" She gave me that uncomfortable laugh of acknowledgement when you want to say something, but you can't. Oh, it's now 11:17 a.m.

As we trek down 169 Allie's kinda gut-laughing about me calling Jamie (with an E, why that matters is coming soon) a fucking idiot as I left after giving her "Ya know what? Fuck You."

We compose ourselves and walk in the big-ass main post office on High Street. It's now 11:30 a.m., We meet Jami (without an E. See, told you it mattered.) Jami is smiling. Jami is happy. Jami is impressed we have all our documentation in order, our applications filled out but NOT signed, and that we have the proper photos required. Jami goes over the paperwork, explains the process, checks our IDs, fills out the stuff she has to fill out, has us sign the paperwork, puts it all together and has it ready to go. We thank Jami and pay the lady and walk out of the big-ass main post office in Warren and get in the car. It's now 11:45 a.m. Half-hour each my ass. 

We decided since we adulted enough today, and accomplished the only real mission we have today, we were going to get lunch. We decided to hit up The Lime Tree, because we haven't eaten there yet. And it was delicious.

So, your takeways from today's lesson:  Do your job, and if you're hungry and in Warren, we recommend The Lime Tree. I say get the Reuben (or Gyro ... or anything really, from The Lime Tree. Travis & Kristen are great people, their food is outstanding and they have great beers on tap and kick-ass unique cocktails. And a monthly brunch.  Also, when you piss me off, I'm a gigantic asshole.

But you probably already knew that.

I've figured out President Trump's agenda

I think I finally figured out President Trump's agenda. 

For reals.

Gimme a minute to explain:

Trump really does want America to be/remain/regain being great. Not just in one thing. In EVERYTHING we used to be great at. Manufacturing, education, science, space exploration, environmental protections, social programs, being good neighbors, helping the poor, policing the world and just being that beacon of hope for those wanting a better life, in America.

See, we used to be great. Long ago, before we started this class/color/sexuality/religious/gender/political war that we're all wrapped up in. 

President Trump sees these dividing points as what's making us NOT be great. 

Not the Mexicans. Not the Muslims. Not the gays. Not the women. The warfare among the people of America. Over petty things. 

So he decides to do some nation rebuilding by reshaping America. 

• He runs the perhaps the worst campaign ever seen in American politics for content while attacking the leaders of his own party, the leaders of the opposition, asking the Russians to get involved and filling his campaign staff with idiots and political neophytes to run a campaign that nobody  saw him winning.
• And he does this while running against a candidate that's so hated by a near majority of voters damn near anyone else remotely qualified who doesn't do everything in the previous paragraph would beat her in a Mondale-like landslide.
• He loses the popular vote while winning the Electoral collage making everyone who gets democracy but not representative republics mad.
• He claims 3 million illegal votes were cast, casting doubt on the legitimacy of the election, but refuses to allow recounts, investigations or proof. Making more people mad.
• He's turned his campaign promises into shit faster than any candidate in history. Making his supporters mad.
• He's threatening war with China, Russia, Iran and North Korea, to the point even some of the most fanatical war hawks are like "Um, wait. No. Just wait."
• He fills his cabinet with the least qualified candidates in the history of politics based on how much money they have or gave to his campaign, and by how much money they can route to his pockets. Which makes more people mad.
• His approval rating, while three times that of Congress, is deplorable. And falling. 
• He does EVERYTHING he spent four years criticizing the most popular president in recent history did, but even more so. "I won't golf." "I won't vacation." "I won't waste money." and that's all he does. Warns him "Don't bomb Syria without Congressional approval" ... then goes ahead and does it. 

And there's more. Yugely more. But this is already long. So let's wrap-it-up!

America, throughout its history, has always been able to unite to face the common enemy. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?

He's PURPOSEFULLY trying to become the single most hated American politician, president and person. 

To unite the country. To force us to put aside our differences in race, gender, religion, class, sexual orientation, creed, background, nationality, sports teams, musical tastes to unite as Americans and take on a common enemy:  Donald J. Trump.

Eyes open now? You're welcome. 

Help us help kids fight cancer!

Hello Friends,

Eric here. It's February and two dozen of us are 25 days away from shaving our heads and faces to help the St. Baldrick's Foundation help kids fight cancer. I've been growing it out since November 1st, and man, I'm ready to be bald again! This is my sixth year shaving my head, sixth year volunteering and third year as event organizer for our local event, and while it's a lot of work, it's very rewarding work. Here's why:

Last year we met Kolby, from Youngstown. He was diagnosed in 2015 at age three and started treatments for Early B Cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. He was in treatment but still came out to our 2016 event and watched his brother shave his head, and he had fun. He was diagnosed as cancer free in 2015, but is on a three-year maintenance plan. He will be five 10 days after our 2017 event and his future looks bright. ALL is the most common cancer in boys ages 2-5. It also has the best cure rate of over 95%, and we hope he comes out again this year!

Kolby is one of the 300,000 kids world-wide that are diagnosed with cancer. Kolby is why we do this. Last year, with your help, the St. Baldrick's Foundation had 1,240 head-shaving events that raised raised more than $38 million for research grants. Locally, we had our best year ever, raising $19,451.

We are asking for your help again. Just click the link below and donate what you can. Every dollar helps, so please don't feel your donation is too small. And if you can't donate this year, could you share the link on your social media sites? We have 24 people signed up to shave their heads on March 11 including nine women, and Marek, who's seven and shaving his head for the third time as a participant and for the fourth time overall. With what we raised last year, and this year, we've given more than $60,000 St. Baldrick's Foundation since we started in 2012. The donation page link is below and your support is appreciated. Here's the link to our 2017 St. Baldrick's Head Shaving. Come join us for a fun run, bands, beer, bald heads and a basket raffle on Saturday, March 11th. Thanks!  Join us by signing up to shave your head or donate to the event, a team or participant here: https://www.stbaldricks.org/events/austintown2017

The photo is Kolby on the left, and his brother Robby on the right from last year's event. Robby raised more than $600 and shaved his head with us.

You can follow Kolby's story in his Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/398734086918077/

My annual "Shaking You Down" St. Baldrick's Post!

Hello Friends,

It's the middle of February and Valentine's Day and I am 25 days away from once again shaving my head and face to help the St. Baldrick's Foundation help kids fight cancer. I've been growing it out since November 1st, and man, I'm ready to be bald again! This is my sixth year shaving my head, sixth year volunteering and third year as event organizer for our local event, and while it's a lot of work, it's very rewarding work. Here's why:

Last year we met Kolby. He was diagnosed in 2015 at age three and started treatments for Early B Cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. He was in treatment but still came out to our 2016 event and watched his brother shave his head, and he had fun. He was diagnosed as cancer free in 2016, but is on a three-year maintenance plan. He will be five 10 days after our 2017 event and his future looks bright. ALL is the most common cancer in boys ages 2-5. It also has the best cure rate of over 95%, and we hope he comes out again this year!

Kolby is one of the 300,000 kids world-wide that are diagnosed with cancer. Kolby is why we do this. Last year, with your help, the St. Baldrick's Foundation had 1,240 head-shaving events that raised raised more than $38 million for research grants. I'm asking for your help again. Just click the link below and donate what you can. Every dollar helps, so please don't feel your donation is too small. And if you can't donate this year, could you share the link on your social media sites? We have 24 people signed up to shave their heads on March 11 including nine women, and Marek, who's seven and shaving his head for the third time as a participant and for the fourth time overall. Last year we raised $19,451 locally, bringing our five-year-total to nearly $60,000 we've donated to the St. Baldrick's Foundation. My link is below and your support is appreciated.

https://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/ericbroz2017

This is Kolby on the left; his brother Robby on the right after raising more than $600 and shaving his head!

This train is about to get a whole lot less populated

I think I have reached the point where I am done with this administration.

And, sadly, it only took two days.

My tipping point?

Alternative facts.

Or, to those of us with logical, rational brains …

The series of flat-out lies and falsehoods being presented from the podium of the White House Press Room because President Ego and his talking heads got mad about real news media all over the world reporting on the numbers of people (not) attending his inauguration Friday in DC (which Twitterer-In-Chief described as an 'honer') as the compared to number of people who actually attended President Obama's two inaugurations and/or the number of men, women and children actually attending Saturday's marches in DC and all over the world.

And I bet the large number of signs with all the words spelled right had to piss him off, too.

Alternative facts are lies. There's nothing else to be said. 

The opening weekend response from the President, from his campaign speech after he was sworn in to banning the Department of the Interior and the EPA, his tweets, his inability to see what's happening and respond appropriately has been outlandishly petty, not presidential, unprecedented and proof that he is unfit to lead this ENTIRE nation, which is still comprised of more people who didn't vote for him than who did. I’m not saying he’s not the president, he won the Electoral College. What I’m saying is he needs to realize that he’s the President of the United States, not just the people who voted for him.

Here's what I’m talking about: 

As an American, I, and 73,649,166 others who didn't vote for him, expect him to realize the campaign is over and reach out to everyone, as previous presidents have. To try to be the President of the United States of America. Not just the 62,979,879 members of Trump Nation who did vote for him. And stop saying the popular vote was because of illegal aliens voting, or voter fraud, or anything like that unless you’re willing to have every vote inspected, every voter vetted and the results of the election (which have been verified) recounted, in every state. There’s no way that 10,669,288 illegals voted (that’s the number of people who voted for her or anyone else running for President.) So on election fraud, it’s time to put up or shut up.

But you won’t. Because you can’t. Your ego won’t let you. You can’t handle being wrong, being embarrassed or shown up. Everything has to be your way. You’re acting like a seven-year-old, not a 70-year-old. It’s like you want to set up a Trump Nation and install yourself as your king and have everyone bow down to you. But that’s not how America works. You’re elected, not appointed. You’re gifted a four-year term to convince us to give you another four-year term. That means all of us. Remember that. You’re in charge of all of the country, not just the minority who elected you, please start acting like it.

As for that minority voted Trump, some of you’d probably hail that king. And that’s sadly amusing to me. 

Wait. What amusing about that?

Some of you (maybe most, I hate to generalize) are already groveling beneath his feet, as you have since the beginning, waiting for him to save your job (which he can't because Mexicans aren't taking them, robots and the Indians and Chinese are), build that wall & make Mexico pay for it (which we won't, and they won't), lock her up (which isn't happening) and all the other things he told you he would do, as you sat there like little baby birds, mouths agape, as he vomited this garbage in your face and called it Making America Great Again.

You just haven't realized it's garbage he’s feeding you. 

That Trump Freedom Murica Meal you've been devouring like a second grader with a whole cake is an alleged billionaire pissing all over all of you and him telling you you’re just standing in the rain. He got what he wanted. Elected. But he can't deal with not everyone rolling over and accepting that 73,649,167 people DIDN’T vote for him and aren’t happy about the path he’s taking. And they’re letting him know.

This first weekend in office is just the tip of the iceberg.

The 73.6 million of us are already and rapidly growing tired your and his inability to see actual facts, think rationally and act logically for the entire nation. We are already tired of the lies, the outright propaganda, misinformation and bullshit. Marching against Obama is what you said? Cheese-Cracka please. This wasn’t a march for or against one thing, this was a march about EVERYTHING.

We have heard for eight years that death panels were coming with Obamacare.  That didn't happen under President Obama, but it’s going to happen under President Trump when the Affordable Care Act is repealed. For the slow readers in the crowd, congrats for getting this far. I hope you realize that the Affordable Care Act is, in fact, Obamacare. And many of you who voted for President Trump will be losing your health insurance, all because you hate the Obama part of Obamacare so much you never realized it’s exactly what you have. I hope you’re not part of the 43,000 that Harvard expects to die in the first year.  Others will see their premiums rise. To keep the insurance companies raking in billions of dollars a year while letting people go without medicine, and health care. That’s why they were marching.

He never took your guns, but now Law And Order Trump wants to federalize law enforcement across the nation with the "Kill a cop, face the death penalty" tactic. While that sounds good in his bumper-sticker staccato speech patterns, it happens to violates the 10th Amendment of the Constitution, a document he’s probably never read but swore to uphold. That’s why they were marching.

He demanded Obama's birth certificate, but won't produce the tax forms he's promised over, and over and over to do, from the time before he won the nomination to saying before he was sworn in. Still, no taxes. Because he's a fraud.

And I’ve saved the best of the lies for the end ... How many times and ways were we told the Kenyan Muslim Socialist Communist Fascist Fake President Barack Hussein Hitler Obama was going to enact Sharia Law? I’ve lost count.

But Sharia law is coming to America, just the Christian version of it. And your leader is the one pushing it, not the Obamas. If Congress has its way, we’re going to have a nation where less than 60% identify as Christian, and even fewer has hardcore Christian (25% Evangelical) but with the Bible the law of the land. 

That's no different than making the Koran the law of the land. 

There’s a pretty big statement from the Founding Fathers (who were not all Christian and this is not and never has been a "Christian nation") who realized that zealots of any religion will destroy this nation. That’s why there the whole Religious liberty means you can worship whom you want, or idolize nothing at all. Religious liberty does not mean you must worship my god. That's why the Pilgrims left England in the 1600's. To get away from religious intolerance. That's why they wrote the Establishment Clause and Free Exercise Clause of First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States. 

What's that? Here: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."

Now, 500 years later, here we are. Trying to make the the God of the few rule the many, regardless of the will of the people. That’s why they were marching. And dozens of other reasons.

President Trump isn't helping with his petty fits, and his desire to rip away everything that happened over the last eight years. He didn't win a majority of the vote and should start to recognize it.  His speech Friday should have said "I see you. I hear you. I want to be your president too. Let's work together to make America great again." I, and many others, would have listened to that. We don't want to see Trump fail, because that means America fails, but it's going to happen.

Before Friday, Trump talked about taking the weekend off, then gave a campaign speech after being sworn in, then on Saturday, had a fake event at the CIA with a hand-picked crowd of NOT CIA people. Then, he and his propaganda machine went 11-year-old girl on us all weekend with "No way, Holly. I totally had more people at my birthday party than you or Stacey did.” That's not presidential behavior.

And then we learned about “alternative facts.”  A concept so stupid only the brainwashed who’ve been watching Faux Noise and listing to Rush would believe. And that’s where my wanting this to work ends.

Your stupidity and blind ignorance to continue to follow this orange airbag has me in fear for the long-term health of this nation, our children, your grandchildren; the current health and basic rights of our wives, sisters, mothers, and grandmothers, because their rights will be stolen away, day by day, minute by minute, along with our health care, our clean air, our clean water and clean land, for the next four years, or however long it takes the rest of the Republican party to wake up and realize the monster they've created is eating their future, too, and impeach a man who never should have gotten this far in the first place.

I’m a 48-year-old white male with two degrees and an IT career. I have skills across many fields that will keep me employed until doomsday, so I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about my friends that aren’t white, that aren’t males, that are gay, lesbian, transgender, intersex. Those that don’t have degrees, those that have children, those who stand to lose basic rights, protections and access to health care. That’s who I support. Not a billionaire wanna-be king and anyone who can’t see where this is going. Deregulate the EPA? Sure. We’ll wind up with more jobs, and look like Beijing. Pollution so thick you can’t go outside in it. Put an idiot who’s never had a job in charge of the Department of Education who’s never attended a public school or applied for federal student aid? Perfect. Putting Rick Perry and Ben Carson in your cabinet? What’s next? Bristol Palin running Planned Parenthood?

Sorry, if you’re still 100% behind Trump, we’re done. If you’re not questioning his responses, his actions or his inability to realize he’s completely unqualified for the role he has, we’re done. If you’ve spent all weekend not seeing what’s happening? We’re done. Because if you're not getting on the reasonable, fact-based train, then I guess we're not going to end up in the same place. Enjoy the ride to your distopian future with King Trump. I'm out.

The New Testament: King Trump Edition 10 Commandments, updated for 2017 America.

The New Testament: King Trump Edition 10 Commandments, updated for 2017 America.

1. The US Dollar is the Lord your God: You shall not honor foreign currencies before me. Unless you're bribing me. And they're not traceable. I prefer Russian bonds. They are the best.
2. You shall not take the name of Trump your God in vain. I'll sue the pants off you. I have great lawyers. Believe me, they're great.
3. Remember to keep holy the weekend. Which is why I'm taking this, and probably every other, weekend off. Don't want to drunkingly sign executive orders calling for the immediate incarceration of those crooked Clintons and my other political enemies this weekend while I'm celebrating. With the Clintons. We're friends. She's a nice lady. I'm the new president. I shouldn't have to work weekends. It's not like I'm taking any salary for this. I might just work four ten-hour days and call it a week. A 40-hour work week for everyone makes America great again.
4. Honor your father and your mother. Especially if they give you small loans, like when I got a million from my father in the 70's. Didn't everyone get that?
5. You shall not kill. But I can shoot somebody on 5th Avenue and still not lose any votes. Unless you're standing your ground. 
6. You shall not commit adultery. That's a Presidential exclusive in the Trump administration. And before I was president. Because it's part of the Trump Family Values.
7. You shall not steal. That's reserved for the Mexicans. Rape too.
8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. But you better report his Muslim ass if he's plotting against America. Because they all are. Or if he's a raping Mexican, here illegally. I'll deport his ass starting Day 1. I mean Day 3. Weekend off. 
9. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife. Again, that's Droit du seigneur. You'll wind up on the other side of the wall.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor's goods. Only covet things with the Trump label. They're the best.