Oh, I'm such a nerd, Part ∞

So ... over the past several months, I've been given two hard and fast rules for dating Shoes.

1. Don't break my heart.
2. Don't cheat on me.

Simple enough, right?

Unless you're my brain.  Which automagically starts creating equations and algorithms on how those two rules coexist and work in tandem in a single line of code that's easily uploaded to my brain to allow me additional storage space so I can recite song lyrics, movie quotes, the manufacturer's part number to the bumper bracket for a 72 Volvo or pertinent information such as ... well ... anything but song lyrics, movie quotes, and the manufacturer's part number to the bumper bracket for a 72 Volvo.

So ... as my thought processes go absurdly apeshit with this, as they do with EVERYTHING, I realize two additional constants:

If I break rule 2, I break rule 1, by default.  (NOTE TO SELF:  NEVER, EVER feed gremlins after midnight, or break rule 2).
If I break rule 1, I am free to break rule 2, by default.  (NOTE TO SELF:  NEVER, EVER, get gremlins wet, or break rule 1).

Now, keep in mind I have ZERO DESIRE to break EITHER rule, or feed gremlins after midnight, or get them wet, let alone break Rule 1 in order to nullify Rule 2.  I've never cheated on anyone I've ever dated, lived with, married or stalked.  

On top of that, I've never been happier in a relationship with a woman in my life.  (Apologies to anyone reading this I dated, lived with, married or stalked.) Hell, most of you (well, not the ones I stalked), have said to me they've never seen me happier; and to her, they've never seen me happier.

(and thanks, the checks are in the mail.  Well, if I wrote checks. Or used snail mail. Paypal is much easier.)

(can I add more parenthetical statemets to a blog?)

(Oh, yes, I can.)

(Because it's my blog.)

(Notice how the punctuation is in the inside of the parenthesis?  That's how it should be. Grammar rules.)


So as I was laying down beside a sleeping Sarah, trying to sleep myself, since it's 4:28 a.m., and since I'm failing miserably, because my brain is running all over the place trying to work some logic to combine those two rules into one rule and do it so I can't break either, and do it logically, without using if-than and goto statements because I'm a nerd who's not a programmer ... and do it using binary constants because I'm a computer guy ... I end up sitting here trying to write all this out because I'm a wordy guy.
(See, hug it out. It's easier.)

Yeah, welcome to my world.  Words. Math. Computers. Binary languages. Sleep deprivation. Love. Sex. Beer. Try for the green area around the $1 because you have twice the chance of winning big money in the Showcase Showdown.  And fuck the first prize package because it always sucks.


I've broken it down to this single line of code, which has been uploaded to my central processing unit:

01001000 01100101 01100001 01110010 01110100 01100010 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101011 00100000 00110000 00100000 00101011 01000011 01101000 01100101 01100001 01110100 00100000 00110000 00100000 00111101 01000101 01110100 01100101 01110010 01101110 01100001 01101100 00100000 01001000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01101001 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011 00101110

Upload complete.  Yay me!

(for the non-binary speaking individuals, that means Heartbreak 0 + Cheat 0 = Eternal Happiness.)

Yay me!

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