Song of the Day - For Kurt Cobain

Disclaimer:  I was never a fan.  I don't really care what kind of feedback this gets, or who bitches and complains. My blog, my point of view.

At one point back in my troll days, I actually got the Nirvana board shut down (and my account cancelled) for startinga  huge flame wary by posting a parody of "All Apologies" with the PS:  It turns out he did have a gun, after all.

Here's what I wrote:

No Apologies - A Parody

What else could I do?
Blew my head in two
What else could I say?
Irrelevant anyway.
What else could I write?
It's all rather trite.
How else to be sure?
Assume room temperature.

On the porch
In the sun
I pulled out a shotgun
In the sun
In the sun
BLAM!
Now I'm Buried!

 

I wish I was like you
Still breathing too
You'll find more of my skull
Painted up there on the wall

I'll take all the blame
Could not handle the fame
Ran out of drugs and songs
One blast will right my wrongs

On the porch
In the sun
I pulled out a shotgun
In the sun
In the sun
BLAM!
Buried!

Now I'm buried
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

All I am is all worm food (repeat til fade)

The Sound of Sneezing ... a song parody

Once again I'm destroying a great 60's song with one of my weird-ass brain farts.  Sorry, Paul Simon ...

The Sound of Sneezing

Hello head cold, my old friend
You've come to infect me again
Because of you I'm always sneezing
My nose is stuffy I'm not sleeping
And the virus that was planted in my body 

Leaves me snotty
And brings the sound of sneezing

In restless sleep I toss until
I get knocked out by the NyQuil
Beneath the soft glow of the TV
That big sneeze you heard was all me
My nose is stuffed
and my eyes are watering too
All I hear is "Bless you"
Amongst the sound of sneezing

And in the grocery store I saw
Ten thousand remedies maybe more
All I hear is me sneezing
Breathing through my nose is just wheezing
My ears are clogged 

And my tissues are snot-logged
All I hear is the sound of sneezing

"Fools," said I, "You do not know
Head colds like a cancer grow."
Avoid my sneeze is what I teach you
So droplet particulates will not reach you
And wash your hands with hot water and soap

Don't be a dope
Or you'll echo the sound of sneezing

And now I humbly bow and pray
To the green liquid that Vicks made
As my nose gives me a warning
Another big sneeze it is forming
And the words of the prophets are written on the bottle side. 

A font both bold and wide:
A NyQuil coma will silences the sound of sneezing.

Inside The Death Star

Just in case anyone was wondering ...

Compiled by Car Insurance Guide and Geeks are Sexy | Picture hosted on imgur

Polar Bear Plunge for Cancer

So ... I decided to embark on a fund-raiser ... I'm going to do a Polar Bear Plunge into the icey waters of Lake Milton to raise money for the American Cancer Society.

The goal is $100 per person ... I kicked my campaign off with a $25 donation, then decided to test the website with a $5 donation (because I'm an IT Nerd like that and have to test a link before I can recommend it).

So ... that being said ... I have 19 days to raise $70 ... who's with me?  Click here to donate!

And if you're interested in watching, March 5th at Lake Milton is where the plunging will be happening.

And yeah, I'll be wearing nothing more than a swim suit and sneakers (because it's a long, cold walk to the water ... shoes are needed!)

Facts about Farting

Well, as a guy who is lactose intolerant and loves dairy products, I'm often gassy.  And sometimes, my deflation is legendary in both the sound and the length.

Being a guy who likes to do his research, I stumbled upon a long-lost Q&A about farts from a long-dead forum I used to be part of.  No idea who the original author was, but here are some interesting facts about farts:

What makes farts stink?

The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?

(Question submitted by many, many people!) Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and more odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!) mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm.

Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly), often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.

How much gas does a normal person pass per day?

On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts. Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.

How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else's nose?

(Question submitted by SteF) Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever. Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car.

These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

Why is there a 13 to 20 second delay between farting and the time it starts to smell?

Actually, the fart stinks immediately upon emergence, but it takes several seconds for the odor to travel to the farter's nostrils. If farts could travel at the speed of sound, we would smell them almost instantly, at the same time we hear them.

Is it true that some people never fart?

No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.

Do even movie stars fart? (Question submitted by Mermaid2006)

Yes most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender. I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do.

Do men's farts smell worse than women's farts?

Based on what I have experienced of women's farts, all I can say is that I hope not.

At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart? (Submitted by David)

A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder," and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household.

Why are beans so notorious for making people fart?

Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. When these sugars reach our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a big feast, and make lots of gas! Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell peppers, cabbage, milk, and raisins. A friend of mine had a dog who was exceptionally fond of apples and turnips. The dog would eat these things and then get prodigious gas. A dog's digestive system is not equipped to handle such vegetable matter, so the dog's bacteria worked overtime to produce remarkable flatulence.

What things other than diet can make a person fart more than usual?

People who swallow a lot of air fart more than people who don't. This can be cured somewhat by chewing with your mouth closed. Nervous people with fast moving bowels will fart more because less air is absorbed out of the intestines. Some disease conditions can cause excess flatulence. And going up in an airplane or other low-pressure environment can cause the gas inside you to expand and emerge as flatulence.

Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end?

No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and more bacterial gas content than burps.

Is it harmful to hold in farts?

There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be po isoned or catch a disease by retaining farts. Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much.

How long would it be possible to not fart? (Question submitted by Ineed69too)

As I understand it, a captive fart can escape as soon as the person relaxes. This means that a lot of people who assiduously refrain from farting during the day do so at great length as soon as they fall asleep. Having been on a great many overnight field trips, long bus trips, and trans- Pacific flights, I can personally vouch for the fact that lots of people do fart voluminously as they doze off. So the answer to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you can stay awake!

Do all people fart in their sleep? (Question submitted by MrBlack)

I have not made a scientific study of this, but I don't think all people fart in their sleep. I think mainly those who refuse to fart when they're awake do so when dozing off. For other people, toilet training takes such a strong hold that they let nothing pass their sphincters in sleep. For these people, the gas accumulates in the night and they vent it upon awakening.

Where do farts go when you hold them in?

How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has disappeared when you are ready for it? I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into the bloodstream? What happens to it? The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later. It is reassuring to know that such farts aren't really lost, just delayed.

How can one cover up a fart? (Question submitted by Mouseweed)

There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill. As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart.

If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart. CJT addresses the problem of farting loudly in a public restroom as follows: "My solution: use a handful of loose toilet paper, cover your butt hole and it will muffle the farting; my friends and I call it the 'Buff Muff'!" Depending upon the company, another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others to outdo that one if they think they can.

Is it really possible to ignite farts?

The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A survey done by Fartcloud (the site, alas! is no more) indicates that about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of flatulence is a hazardous practice. However, if you want to try it, and you don't have a friend to light your fart for you, you might find it easier to accomplish the job using the Fartlighter. There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon.

Why is possible to burn farts?

Farts burn because they contain methane (usually) and hydrogen, both of which are flammable gases. (Hydrogen was the same gas that was used in the ill fated Hindenburg dirigible.) Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame. 

credit given to original author if known

Song of the Day

"Enjoy Yourself"

~ Todd Snider

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself,
It's later than you think.

You work and work
For years and years
You're always on the go.
You never take a minute off,
Too busy making dough.
Someday, you say, you'll have your fun
When you're a millioniare.
Imagine all the fun you'll have
In some old rocking-chair.

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself
It's later than you think.

You're gonna take that ocean trip
No matter come what may.
You got your reservations
But you just can't get away.
Next year, for sure, you'll see the world,
You'll really get around;
But how far can you travel
When you're six feet underground?

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly a as wink.
Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself
It's later than you think.

Get out and see the world...

You worry when the weather's cold,
You worry when it's hot.
You worry when you're doing well,
You worry when you're doing not.
It's worry, worry all of the time,
You don't know how to laugh.
They'll think of something funny
When they write your epitaph.

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly as wink.
Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself
It's later than you think.

Facts about the human body

1. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

2. There are 206 bones in the adult human body, but 300 in children (some of the bones fuse together as a child grows).

3. The human eye blinks an average of 4,200,000 times a year.

4. The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.

5. The longest living cells in the body are brain cells which can live an entire lifetime.

6. There are more living organisms on the skin of a single human being than there are human beings on the surface of the earth.

7. Men get hiccups more often than women.

8. Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of “Lorne Greene’s Animal Kingdom”.

9. Life expectancy for Russian men has actually gone down over the past 40 years. A Russian male born today can expect to live an average 58 years.

10. In 1985, the most popular waist size for men’s pants was 32. In 2003, it’s 36.

11. Seven percent of Americans claim they never bathe at all.

12. In 2004, one in six girls in the United States enter puberty at age 8. A hundred years ago, only one in a hundred entered puberty that early.

13. Newest trend in the Netherlands: Tiny jewels implanted directly into the eye.

14. A British gymnast survived a fall from a fourth story window because he went into a somersault and came down on two feet.

15. Jeffrey and Sheryl McGowen in Houston turned to vitro fertilization. Two eggs were implanted in Sheryl’s womb, and both of them split. Sheryl gave birth to two sets of identical twins at once.

16. In 1991, the average bra size in the United States was 34B. Today it’s 36C.

17. The average North Korean 7-year-old is almost three inches shorter than the average South Korean 7-year-old.

18. Every year, 2700 surgical patients go home from the hospital with metal tools, sponges, and other objects left inside them. In 2000, 57 people died as a result of these mistakes.

19. We forget 80 percent of what we learn everyday.

20. Pain is measured in units of “dols”. The instrument used to measure pain is a “dolorimeter”.

21. The Amish a diet high in meat, dairy, refined sugars and calories. Yet obesity is virtually unknown among them. The difference is since they have no TVs, cars or powered machines, they spend their time in manual labor.

22. As of January 1, 2004, the population of the United States increases by one person every 12 seconds. There is a birth every eight seconds, an immigrant is added every 25 seconds, but a death every 13 seconds.

23. Astronauts cannot burp in space. There is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.

24. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

25. Fidgeting can burn about 350 calories a day.

26. Wearing headphones for an hour increases the bacteria in your ear 700 times.

27. A baby is born without kneecaps. They appear between age 2 and 6.

28. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

29. In a recent survey, Americans revealed that banana was their favorite smell.

30. The arteries and veins surrounding the brain stem called the “circle of Willis” looks like a stick person with a large head.

31. Brushing your teeth regularly has been shown to prevent heart disease.

32. A kiss stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.

33. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

34. Your nose and ears never stop growing.

35. It takes approximately 12 hours for food to entirely digest.

36. Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks.

37. Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

38. As you age, your eye color gets lighter.

39. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

40. Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day.

 41. Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe.

42. One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.

43. Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.

44. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

45. The average person laughs 15 times a day.

UFC 126: My Predictions

UFC 126 is tonight on Facebook, Spike TV and finally the main event pay-per-view.  As with most UFC bouts, I'll be at BW3 in Austintown if you wanna stop down, but come early if you want a seat.

Here's the lineup card, starting with the prelims first and continuing through the main card.  I judge myself by with two points per bout:  One for the winner, the other for the type of victory.  I don't see a lot of these fights going the distance, which is good for fans.  

That being said, here are my picks for tonight:

---

Mike Pierce vs Kenny Robertson

Pierce beat Brock Larson and nearly beat John Fitch ... but he was overweight at the weigh-ins and had to cut additional weight, so that may hurt him.  I'm still thinking Pierce is the stronger fighter, I just wonder how much the additional cut will hurt him.

My pick:  Pierce, KO

---

Kyle Kingsbury vs Ricardo Romero

Romero's a better wrestler, Kingsbury (9-2) has a good submission game, but a weak chin. Romero by TKO in what will probably be the biggest ground fight of the night.  Romero's 11-1 with six submissions and four KO's, so he's a finisher; five of Kingsbury's 11 fights have gone to the judges.

My Pick:  Romero, TKO.

---

Paul Taylor vs. Gabe Ruediger

Taylor knows how to kick up the excitement and I think he's going to make Rudiger wish he was back in the TUF house eating cake. He looked thin at the weigh-in whereas Taylor looked very natural. 

My Pick: Taylor, KO.

---

Norifumi "Kid" Yamamoto vs Demetrious Johnson

This fight will be streamed live on Facebook (if you're a fan or UFC on Facebook it's free) and features the debut of Kid Yamamoto, one of the most popular fighters in Japanese MMA with a record of 18-3 with one no contest.  He loves the knockout, and I see him getting KO victory 14 against an overmatched Johnson.

My Pick: Kid Yamamoto, KO.

---

Michihiro Omigawa vs Chad Mendes

This fight will be live on Spike, again for free. I see Omigawa cleaning the cage with Mendes ... Mendes has heart, is a good wrestler and undefeated, and he's been in some battles, but Omigawa's fighting for his UFC life.  He looked good at the weighins and has changed up his training routine to work his judo and striking better in the cage, which is why he's the fourth-ranked featherweight in MMA.

My Pick: Omigawa, decision

---

Donald Cerrone vs Paul Kelly

Also on the Spike Prelims Show, this is going to be our first real fight where the fighter who makes the first mistake will wind up asking "What happened?" after waking up, either from a Cerrone knockout or Kelly submission.

My Pick:  Cerrone, KO

---

Miguel Torres vs Antonio Banuelos

The first PPV fight of the card is going to get fans up and excited to kick off the main card. If you've never seen Torres fight, you have missed some of the most intense action from the WEC. Sure, he's little (135 pound bantumweight division), but he's a buzzsaw. Great strikes, good wrestling.  Torres (38-3) has ended 82% of his fights (9 knockouts, 23 submissions), while Benuelos has left it up to the judges in half of his 24 fights (he's 18-6 overall)

My Pick:  Torres, KO

---

Jake Ellenberger vs Carlos Eduardo Rocha

I'm not much a fan of either of these guys, but one this is for sure ... they both come to throw, so this will be fast and furious.  I think Ellenberger has the edge in striking and wrestling.

My Pick: Ellenberger, KO

---

Ryan Bader vs Jon Jones

Great staredowns rarely lead to great fights, but these two have been on a collision course since Jones came to the UFC and started dominating people and Bader blew up the Ultimate Fighter house before winning Season 8.  Both fighters are unbeaten, and everyone who watched the DQ loss to Mark Hamill knows how dominant Jones was in that fight, and how he's been cleaning out the division. Bader has a 10-inch reach disadvantage to overcome, but if he does that, there's still the viscious elbows of Jones to deal with.

My Pick:  Jones, KO

---

Forrest Griffin vs Rich Franklin

Two guys who love to fight get to fight. To see who's better. That's MMA. It's going to be fun and it's going to be exciting. Griffin needs a win to get back on the horse; Franklin can continue his impressive streak of beating everyone NOT named Anderson Silva.

My Pick:  Franklin, KO; but we all win watching this fight.

---

Vitor Belfort vs Anderson Silva

Silva's due to fall. Sonnen exposed some holes in his game. Belfort is a tattical striker who finds the holes in everyone's game and hits you hard and fast. If his straight left catches Silva, look for a finish.  But never bet against the spider is the rule, right?

My Pick:  Belfort, KO.

Check back next week to see how I did.

Dear eMusic ... I'm sorry, we're breaking up

Look, I know we've had a great relationship for going on five years now, and I know that we've both changed in that time, but after today's visit, I'm afraid I don't know you anymore.

It really comes down to the money.  I used to get a lot of bang for my buck with you. In fact, when I started, we're talking songs were as low as 17 cents ... based on how I purchased and paid ... and there were lots of other options.

Lots of great music at cheap prices ... albums as low as $3.00 and exclusive tracks that nobody else had, not to mention that there were bands that nobody else had in a digital format.

Then, as you grew, you got more expensive .. but you were still the best bargain around ... even at 40 or 50 cents, you were great.  Your catalog was expanding, your exclusive tracks and impressive collections of whole discographies were amazing to me.

Then you had to big-time us.

Adding Columbia and RCA and all sorts of major labels that, quite frankly, none of us wanted.  As a bunch of introverts who would stare at our own shoes, mixed with the occasional extrovert who stared at other people's shoes, we wanted our indie rock legal, and cheap.

We wanted Ryan Adams, not Bryan Adams.  Bruce Cockburn, not Bruce Springsteen.

The final straw, though, was switching from download credits to actual cash ... I'd rather get my 30 credits at 50 cents a month than a flat out $12 dollars and 89 cent songs.

You've become Amazon without the selection. iTunes without the iPod. I see you heading down the same road as the download services once offered by WalMart and Sony and Napster ... you went from a niche player that ruled your market to the smallest fish in your pond.

And I'm taking my tackle box and leaving.  Good luck to you.

Take That, Spawn of the Smiths!

(click on the picture for full effect)

Song of the Day

"What Love Was"

~Kate York

So you stopped the rain
And you turned the spout
And you took the sun
And your wrung it out
So it falls on me
When I'm in this place
And I'm overwhelmed
With this life to face

'Cause I didn't know what love was
No I didn't have a clue
No I didn't know what love was
'Til I found you

Then I could only dream
Of things to come
To be so sure
But to come undone
Cause it starts so small
Like scattered blue
Then it pierce the skin
Now it runs me through

'Cause I didn't know what love was
No I didn't have a clue
No I didn't know what love was
'Til I found you

And I leaping flame
that was once it spark
and It swallowed up
And now it pierce the dark
And I leaping flame
that was once it spark
and It swallowed up
And now it pierce the dark

'Cause I didn't know what love was
No I didn't have a clue
No I didn't know what love was
'Til I found you

My 'other' 2010 wap-up

RANDOM:


Stayed single the whole year?
No. Fell in love with an amazing woman :D

Were involved in something you'll never forget?
Absolutely ... several things!

Dyed your hair?
Yeah. I l thought I  looked to old to date her ... she said she'd break up with me if I ever dyed it again.

Came close to losing your life?
We're all day-to-day.

Saw one of your favorite bands live?
Many of them. And often.

FRIENDS:

Did you meet any new friends this year?
Absolutely

Did you hate anyone?
No. When you hate someone you give them a piece of you that you never get back.

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
Nope. Actually reconnected with a couple of great people that were previous regrets.

BIRTHDAY:

Did you have a cake?
No

Did you have a party?
No

Did you get any presents?
A kick-ass stick-figure video from my daughter. And that's better than presents.


YOU:

Did you change at all this year?
A few things. For the better.

Did you change your style?
I have style??  Actually, I started working at home in September, which has seriously reduced the number of days a week I wear pants.

Were you in school?
School of life

Did you get good grades?
I'm still living.

Did you have a job?
Yeah, and I worked far too many hours.

Did you drive?
Yes! Lots of places.

Did you own a car?
Yes. Ivy ... the pine green Saturn with the "Chewie Is My Co-Pilot" bumper sticker.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, but I have two great friends who will have babies in 2011.

Would you change anything about yourself now?
Can't change what's happened. Why worry about it?

MORE:

Was 2010 a good year?
2010 was a very good year


Do you think 2011 will top 2010?
Yep

Kissed in the rain?
Yes. Comfest. With Sarah!

Had your heart broken?
No

Done something you've regretted?
No ... I don't regret, I evolve.

Painted a picture?
No

Wrote a poem?
Yes

Ran a mile?
No. Walked 2.5 miles a couple of times. Rode my bicycle 1.8 miles quite a few days. And other days rode it 21 miles.

Visited a foreign country?
No.

Cut in a line of waiting people?
Yeah, but I'm gangsta like that. I was in and out of Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve twice without ever having stood behind anyone in line.

Told someone you were busy when you weren't?
Ask me about my crippling social anxiety

Cooked a disastrous meal?
Yes. Had a recipe for something in an 8x8 pan and made it in my 9x9.  It pretty much sucked.

Lied about how old you were?
No.

Disappointed someone close?
Yes. But was to take it back, as we learned from "The Green Mile"

Hid a secret?
No. I was seriously honest and open with somethings in my life that had been hidden secrets for far too long and it really felt good to get over them and move on.

Pretended to be happy?
Nope.

Slept under the stars?
Nope. I have sleep apnea. Camping means we have to have power.

Kept your new years resolution?
Don't make them.

Forgot your new years resolution?
Don't make them.

Pretended to be sick?
Sick days are vacation days, too

Lost something expensive?
No. But I did burn out some sectors on my iPod screen.

Learned something new about yourself?
Absolutely

Stayed up til sunrise?
Yes.

Cried over the silliest thing?
Yeah, but I always cry when I see babies born.

Spent most of your money on food?
Depends on your definition of food.

Had a fist fight?
No ... but there are several I'd like to punch in the face.

Gotten sick?
Yes.

Liked more than 5 people at the same time?
No.

Wrapping up 2010 with 50 Questions

So here's my End-O-Year Roundup. Last time I ddi this was for 2006. So, if you're a blogger, fill this out yourself.

1. Was 2010 a good year for you?
It was a very good year.

2. What was your favorite moment of the year?
Falling in love. And realizing it before I let her get away.

3. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
The hours I worked.

4. Where were you when 2010 began?
Playing Apples To Apples with my daughter and some great friends.

5. Who were you with?
Cammi, Cindy, Mark, Alex, Donna and a bunch of other kids.

6. Where were you when 2010 ended?
In Columbus at a New Year's Eve bash that featured lots of friends, a gang fight, gunshots in the parking lot and kicking off 2011 with the love of my life!

7. Who were you with when 2010 ended?
All sorts of friends who I won't name or tag to protect the guilty, but Sarah was there so my 2011 started off super!

8. Did you keep your new years resolution of 2010?
I don't make resolutions.

9. Do you have a new years resolution for 2011?
No, as I said, I don't make resolutions. Here's why

10. Did you breakup with anyone in 2010?
Sarah. Because I'm stupid like that. Luckily she took my dumb ass back!

11. Did you make any new friends in 2010?
A whole shitload. I'm social like that.

12. Who are your favorite new friends?
Favorite friends? What are we, in high school? (Okay, Sarah, Amber, Megan, Brian, Mike N, Mike J, Jen R and most of the rest of the new friends I made!)

13. What were your five favorite moments of 2010?

1. March. Met Sarah. Nuff said. My daughter turned 12 and my friends are seeing how much like me she is now that she's on Facebook and cracking them up, too.
2. May.  Sarah kissed me for the first time. And stole my heart.
3. June.  Sarah and I went to a lesbian wedding in Cincinnati and a Pirates game in Pittsburgh the same weekend and followed that up with our first Comfest the next weekend.
4. October. Vacation with Sarah and Aidan when we spent my birthday weekend hitting Delaware, Maryland and Virginia with my daughter and Aidan got to visit his first lighthouse.
5. December. Getting back together with Sarah after getting over some serious personal bullshit I needed to deal with.

14. Did you travel outside of the USA in 2010?
Nope. I'm getting xenophobic in my old age. I'd rather explore what greatness our country has to offer.

15. How many different states did you travel to in 2010?
Seven. PA, WV, MD, VA, KY, NY, DE

16. Did you lose anybody close to you in 2010?
No, I don't think I did. A couple of friends, they're alive, but we're not friends anymore. Which isn't always a bad thing.


17. Did you miss anybody in the past year?
No. I'm a heartless bastard. (Yes, of course, everyone misses someone, so I'll pick Mary!)

18. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2010?
Zombie Women of Satan

19. What was your favorite song from 2010?
"Fuck You" - Cee-Lo Green and "You Were Always The One" - Patrick Park

20. What was your favorite new album from 2010?
Two Cow Garage "Sweet Saint Me"

21. How many concerts did you see in 2010?
Hahahahaha. No idea. Lots. Lots. Lots.

22. Did you have a favorite concert in 2010?
Madison Square Gardeners at Rhumba when Aaron basically fell into my arms during a guitar solo. That was kick ass.  Sarah had never seen me in Rock-Out mode until that night.

23. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2010?
Depends on your definition of a lot.  I'll say I drank more than some and less than others.


24. What was your favorite joke from 2010?
A Tennessee couple, David and Rebecca Kosmitis, both self-admitted rednecks have nine children. They went to their family doctor to see about getting David 'fixed.' The doctor asked why after nine children they decided to get this procedure done. David replied that they had heard on the Glenn Beck show that one out of every 10 children being born in the United States was Mexican and they didn't want to risk having a Mexican baby because neither of them spoke Spanish.

25. What was your favorite photo you took in 2010?
 Jim Stratton of Gingerspittz that I shot at at VexFest. 

26. What was your favorite party of 2010?Probably me, the night I crashed the Women's Only dance at live music trivia at O'Donalds. It also involved me throwing my Chicago Blackhawks jersey on backwards to dance to Kriss Kross's "Jump" and forgetting my friend Brian was there when I saw him a couple of days later.  Sadly, NOBODY got video of that event.  Luckily, I wasn't driving.

27. What was your favorite holiday of 2010?
St. Patrick's Day.  Kegs and Eggs at 5:30 with Natalie & Pat followed by all sorts of fun, a nap, and a return to hang out with Leslie.  And again, luckily, I wasn't driving.

28. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2010?
Nothing illegal. 

29. How many people did you kiss in 2010?
I don't kiss and tell, but Sarah was the best and most fun to kiss!

30. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Nope. If I'm gonna do - or say - something, I'm not going to second guess, regret, wallow or feel shamed after.

31. What was the worst lie someone told you in 2010?
I don't like movies.

32. Did you treat somebody badly in 2010?
Depends on your point of view. He probably thinks so.

33. Did somebody treat you badly in 2010?
Again, depends on your point of view. I think I was treated fairly this year by the lack of "Dear (person/place/business), Fuck You. No, seriously, fuck you." blogs.  But I was tempted. (See #32)

34. How much money did you spend in 2010?
(Checks W2 to see how much money he made in 2010. Checks bank account. Yep, about that much).

35. What was your proudest moment of 2010?
Getting over some serious personal bullshit that has been holding me back in relationships for a long time.

36. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2010?
Answering the door at home (and nobody but Sarah ever visits me) to find a pollster asking me to sign a petition, then saying "Well, with that shirt I doubt you'd be interested."  For the record, I was wearing a shirt that says "I shaved my balls for this?"

37. If you could go back in time to any moment of 2010 and change it what would it be?
I can't, so why bother ... but maybe signing her petition anyway.

38. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Happier. Much happier.

39. Compared to this time last year, are you thinner or fatter?
About the same, really

40. Compared to this time last year, are you richer or poorer?
About the same.

41. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Wow, I did so much in 2010 than I've ever done I really can't answer this.

42. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Been an ass.

43. What was your favorite TV program?
Flash Forward.

44. What was the best book you read?
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

45. What was your greatest musical discovery?
British Sea Power.

46. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Casual ... or well, since I work at home now, pantless.

47. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Same as the past 20 years - Julia Fordham.

48. What political issue stirred you the most?
How shitty the media is. Or our new governor overlord killing high speed rail in Ohio.

49. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
You can't change the past. So pack it away and move forward.

50. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"You shot through my anger and rage
To show me my prison was just an open cage
There were no keys no guards
Just one frightened man and some old shadows for bars"
    Bruce Springsteen - "Living Proof"

Song of the Day

"Before You" ~ Chantal Kreviazuk

Baby, before you
Well, I was bad news
In lettin' me love you
I think I can get through

Oh, baby before you
Well, I was so scared
I was a train wreck waitin' to happen
On the way to nowhere

And now I think it's kinda funny that you say you love me
You tell me that I'm crazy then you smile

And now I think I'll get through
The end of the world
And now I think I'll get through
Bein' a girl
Now I think I'll get through
Anything
And now I think I'll get through

Now honey around you
I'm feelin' so good
'Cause you picked me up out of the rough
And you polished me up and made me brand new

And baby before you, ho ho
There was just a black hole
Yeah I was beat down, blacked out
My darling you couldn't even know

But ever since I met you on a cloudy Monday
I can't believe how much I love the rain

And now I think I'll get through
The end of the world
And now I think I'll get through
Life as a girl
Now I think I'll get through
Anything
Now I think I'll get through

Ever since I met you on a cloudy Monday
I can't believe how much I love the rain

And now I think I'll get through
The end of the world
And now I think I'll get through
Life as a girl
Now I think I'll get through
Anything
Now I think I'll get through

Oh ... ho ...
Now I think I'll get through
Oh ....
Now I think I'll get through
Oh ... ho ...
And now I think I'll get through

And now I think I'll get through
Oh, and now I think I'll get through
Oh, and now I think I'll get through

My Favorite Albums of 2010

#1 without a doubt and no, it wasn't even close ... my favorite album of 2010:

Two Cow Garage - Sweet Saint Me

Once again, this band blows me away by constantly and consistently upgrading the quality of their music.  2010 was a HUGE year for this band from Columbus, Ohio ... from bassist Shane Sweeney discovering the joys of fatherhood to Micah Schnabel releasing a solo album (see "When The Stage Lights Go Out" below for more on that) to blowing up SXSW and leading an impromptu parade through Comfest and two tours that crossed the country, these boys were never home.  Now that the line-up is complete and they've been playing together for two complete albums now, Cody Smith (drums) and Andy Schell (keyboards) round out the amazing sound of the fifth full-length release from the best band you've probably never heard of.

Highlights:  Jackson, Don't You Worry; Sweet Saint Me; What Dying Is For; Brothers In Arms

The rest of the Top 10 ... in no particular order:

The Madison Square Gardeners - Taste The Thunder & Tune It Up, Dime It Out

Released as two separate EP's in 2010, the six-track "Taste The Thunder" and the five-song "Tune It Up, Dime It Out" make a terrific 43-minute trek through the greatness of this band. Aaron Tasjan's lryics continue to grow and I'd listen to Rich Hinnan play me anything on that slide lap steel guitar he has.  They're spending December recording new tunes and playing a residency at Rockwood 2 in New York City; and I can't wait to hear what goodness comes out of these sessions.

Highlights:  Blessing; Shoe Gaze Band; Everybody's Girl; Cross The Line; Love's The Only Way

David Ford - Let The Hard Times Roll

My favorite troubador is back again with thirteen more tunes that have been in heavy rotation in my iTunes/iPod since earlier this summer.  He's had some problems with his record companies seemingly closing up shop overnight, but continues to putting on shows, working his way across America and his native UK.  The lyrics keep getting better, starting with the CD's first song, "Making Up For Last Time" and "Nothing At All" ... introspective, outlandish and socially commentary all at the same time.  It's nice to see him continue to evolve and keep his fires burning.

Highlights:  To Hell With The World; Making Up For Lost Time; Nothing At All; Hurricane

Semi-Precious Weapons - You Love You
I was hesitant to put this on here because it contains four previously releasedsongs from their two independent releases, but they're still opening for Lady Gaga, they're still delivering the glam and the glitz and showbiz to people who either love them or hate them.  The new material is good, I really love "Leave Your Pretty To Me" ... in the words of frontman Justin Tranter, "The Midwest loves a fucking power ballad."  Same with "Look At Me" ... but "Sticky With CHampagne" and "Statues of Ourselves" are just kick-ass fun tunes about living a rock-n-roll lifestyle on the glamours side of the tracks.  Subtlety is not his strenth, so listener beware!

Highlights: Look At Me; Statues of Ourselves, Put A Diamond In It; Her Hair Is On Fire (2010)

Mary Chapin Carpenter - The Age of Miracles
I've been an MCC fan going on 20 years now (thanks, neighbor who turned me on to her) and am glad she continues to make great American music that's no longer classified as 'country' ... it's more folk, alt-countrish ... what we now call Americana.  This 13-song collection features a lot of stripped down acoustic tracks that let her voice, and her lyrics, shine.

Highlights: I Have A Need For Solitude; We Traveled So Far; The Way I Feel; Zephyr.

Gaslight Anthem - American Slang
It's not as great as their first release, "The '59 Sound" ... but it still has been rocking my world. They're so throwback to when all you needed was three verses, a bridge, a catchy chorus and and a great hook and riff. This album brings all that.  From the title track to "The Queen of Lower CHelsea" to "Old Haunts" .... there are tracks here that will stay with me my whole life.  "I called for my father but my my father had died. And you told me fortunes in American slang."  ... fucking genius.

Highlights:  American Slang; We Did it When We Were Young; Queen of Lower Chelsea; Boxer

Chumbawamba - ABCDEFG
Say what you will about how tired you got of "Tubthumping" ... you still sing it.  That was really NOTHING like the band is about (as the disappointing album sales to folks who love/loved that song show). I've played songs of this CD for people and they all say the same thing ... "I like this, who is it?" followed by "Really? I never would have guessed that."  They're really rather mellow and fun to listen to. This album includes such fun songs as "Torturing James Hetfield" by forcing him to listen to their greatest hits album (to which Hetfield sings along); "Dance, Idiot Dance" and "The Same So-So Tune" ... none of which have any resemblance to "Tubthumping" ...

Highlights:   Torturing James Hetfield; Dance, Idiot, Dance; Singing Out The Days; Missed

Cee Lo Green - The Lady Killer

I had no real desire to listen to this CD ... a friend asked me if it was on my pirate sites ... so I broke all sorts of international copyright laws and downloaded it for her.  After I delivered said pirate CD she asked if I had listened to it .. I said "No, I'm not a fan of Gnarls Barkley."  She gave me the STFU look and said, "You really need to listen to this."    So I did. And then I decided that Cee Lo Green was the love child from an orgy of The Temptations, Gladys Night, Aretha Frankin, all the original members of Chicago, Earth Wind and Fire, and several members of the Pips.  It's all sorts of 70's soul and the Motown sound mashed up with all that's good about today's rap/R&B that doesn't involve autotune.  Yeah, I was floored.

Highlights:  Fuck You; Satisfied; I want You; Fool For You; Wildflower

Victoria Vox - Exact Change
Step by step, left right left, this CD just hooked me with the multitude of hooks in songs, choruses, brigdes and verses in a way that no other album did in 2010.  Victoria's approach to songs, songwriting, singing and performance blew me away when I saw her in Columbus. She's a blast to watch live for both the ukalele and mouth trumput.  And she sings songs in French.  Without surrendering to invading German armies. 

Highlights:  Oh I Wonder; Techinocolor Way; Make  A Mess; Shake It Up; Shake It Up

Patrick Park - Come What Will
I don't know how or where this CD came into my collection ... all I know is it really blasted me out of some unhappy mindframes to some hapy mindframes.  That's what I love about music .. that ability to transform my mood from shitty to perfect with just a guitar and some words.  "You Were Always The One" is my song of the year for 2010 ... because ... well ... yeah ... it so fits my life and makes me smile. Because I found my one. And lost her. And found her again. So yeah ... when he sings this, I get it:

"Now mistakes it's true I've made more than a few
and I'm goin to make many others
And it's hard to see why we go through this sometimes
All the things that we do to each other
And I don't understand while I play these games and I trade the truth for lies
Cuz you're always the one I was looking for babe, it just took time to realize"

Highlights:  You Were Always The One; You'll Get Over; Silence and Storm; Starry Night

Bonus CD:  Emma Pollock - The Law of Large Numbers.

She's Scottish. She writes killer lyrics. She sings like she's chasing Satan back to hell to take over. She doesn't give a shit what you think.  I wanna have her babies. That's why she gets the Bonus CD

Highlights: I Could Be A Saint;  Letters To Strangers; House On The Hill; Hug The Piano

The Next Ten:

Doug Keith - The Lucky Ones
Dar Williams - Many Great Companions
Bookmobile - The New Patriot
British India - Avalanche
Ed Kowalczyk - Alive
Steven Page - Page One
Spoon - Transferrence
The Hold Steady - Heaven Is Whenever
Kings of Leon - Come Around Sundown
Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

Your mileage may vary. Tell me who I missed. Who I got wrong. And if your comment contains Eminem, Kanye West, Kid Rock or any other shit fuck suck-ass alleged musician I reserve the right to call in coordinated strategic nuclear strikes to kill you.