UFC 91 - Picks

UFC 91 is Saturday from Las Vegas and features one must see, one don't miss and one don't blink ... including the fight that millions and millions have been waiting for. As always, I'll be at BW3's in Worthington ... feel free to come down if you're local. Music trivia starts at 9 for anyone brave enough to challenge me (hear that, Lia?) ... fights start at ten.

UFC 88 I was 6-3; UFC 90 I was 6-4 ... so let's see how I do with these predictions:

Randy Couture (16-8) vs. Brock Lesnar (2-1) for the UFC heavyweight title.

Brock Lesner is a beast. 6'3" 265 pounds (which is the max for the division ... he has to cut weight to make it to that) ... and an all-world wrestler: Lesnar finished his amateur career as a two-time NJCAA All-American, two-time NCAA All-American, two-time Big Ten Conference Champion, and the 2000 NCAA heavyweight champion with a record of 106-5 overall in four years of college. He wrestled professionally with the WWE and New Japan, tried out and nearly made the final roster for the Minnesota Vikings, then started training MMA. His last match was against Heath Herring in August ... watch for the monster punch nine seconds in.

Randy Couture, however, is the beast master. Yes, he's giving up 40-50 pounds in size, and 14 years in age, but he's a master at finding holes in his opponent and finding ways to win. As far as the wrestling ... he's also won multiple amateur wrestling awards. Couture won a state championship during his senior year of high school, then served in the U.S. Army from 1982–1988. He was a three-time Olympic team alternate (1988, 1992 and 1996); a semifinalist at the 2000 Olympic Trials; a three-time National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Division-I All-American and a two-time NCAA Division-I runner-up at Oklahoma State University. In 1992 he was the Division-1 runner up at 190 pounds coming in second after Smashing Machine Mark Kerr.

Brock has size, strength, explosive speed, and hands so big they had to make gloves especially for him ... nothing fit. Randy has skill, multiple ways to win, the best dirty boxing in the world, decent submission skills and years of experience. Randy's also not fought in 14 months ... Brock's last fight was August, where he wailed on Herring for 15 minutes.

Yeah ... the beast versus the beast master. I've bet against Couture before. I've been wrong, both times (Gabriel Gonzaga and Tim Sylvia). Lesnar is huge, fast, strong, and as of yet, untested. All that being said ... I'm going with Lesnar. I just don't see how Randy can do it, again.
PICK: Lesnar, knockout, second round.

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Kenny Florian (10-3) vs. Joe Stevenson
This is my don't miss fight. The reach, striking and Jiu-Jitsu of Florian versus the wrestling and power of Stevenson. Florian is 3" taller, punches with precision, and has cardio for days. Stevenson is a tremendous wrestler, decent on the ground and has wicked elbows from the top or bottom. Tough fight for both, but for different reasons. Florian has won his last five; Stevenson has won five of six, the only loss being to lightweight champion B.J. Penn. Both have great submission skills ... so it's a wash in a lot of ways ... which means it will be a great fight.
PICK: Florian, submisssion, third round.

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Gabriel Gonzaga (9-3) vs. Josh Hendricks (15-4-1)
Gonzaga has great Jiu-Jitsu. Hendricks is a wrestler. Gonzaga can strike. Hendricks is a wrestler. Then again, as we learned from Junior dos Santos and Seth Petruzelli, anyone can land a good knockout punch. This is my don't miss fight of the night.
PICK: Gonzaga, submission, second round.

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Demian Maia (8-0) vs. Nate Quarry (10-2)
Maia has amazing ground skills and is world-class in Jiu-Jitsu. Quarry has great striking. I see Maia (again) pulling guard and taking the win. Quickly. Rumor has it winner will get fed to Anderson Silva, where he'll get demolished. Quickly.
PICK: Maia, submission, first round.

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Dustin Hazelett (11-4) vs. Tamdan McCrory (9-1)
Hazelett has a great ground game. McCrory doesn't. McCrory's taller, and can strike, but isn't experienced enough in defending submissions. His height will be his disadvantage, as Hazelett will find and arm, or leg, and tweak it.
PICK: Hazelett, submission, first round.

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Jorge Gurgel (12-4) vs. Aaron Riley (26-10-1)
Gurgel loves to throw knees, and strike, but uses them to set up the guillotine choke. Riley likes to break arms or knock you the fuck out ... just ask Michihiro Omigawa in Pride - Bushido 7. DAMN. Dropped like a bad habit.
PICK: Riley, knockout, first round.

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Jeremy Stephens vs. Rafael dos Anjos (11-2)
dos Anjos has won 9 in a row using a variety of submissions ... arm bar, kimura, rear naked choke, arm lock ... so he's looking to submit. Stephens likes the KO. His striking is superb and he went the distance (in a loss) with Spencer Fisher, so he's good at avoiding the submission game. dos Anjos, however, is a much better ground fighter than Fisher. Also, dos Anjos has never been knocked out ... but I see that streak ending.
PICK: Stephens, knockout, first round.

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Mark Bocek (5-2) vs. Alvin Robinson (9-3)
Robinson was choked out by Nate Diaz ... but so have a lot of others. Robinso has choked out a few, too ... he likes the Monte de Leon. Bocek has lost to both Frankie Egars and Mac Danzig, so one more loss and he's likely gone from the UFC for a bit, if not forever. I don't see how Bocek can withstand the submission game of Robinson.
PICK: Robinson, rear naked choke, second round.

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Matt Brown (7-7) vs. Ryan Thomas (9-2)
Matt Brown is either on or off. He should have beaten Dong Hyan Kim, but lost a split decision. He said he's learned not to let it go to the judges and he will bring it this fight. Ryan Thomas is a great ground fighter; Brown likes to stand and bang. If Thomas can take Brown down, it's his game ... but I see Brown going for the kill standing.
PICK: Brown, because he's from Columbus, knockout, first round.

Sweet home, Chicago

Well, that was a fun weekend.

After getting my face rocked off by Razorbliss, Semi Precious Weapons and Bullet Jones on Thursday night at Ravari Room, me and the roomie headed up to Chicago to see the tour-ending Semi Precious Weapons show at the Cobra Lounge. Outstanding ... was again in the front row, had my head used as a footrest and my big fake 'fro ripped off my head towards the end of the show ... and yes, there will be fabulous pictures of Justin, the insanity of Cole and Aaron and some damn near naked Dan photos to come.

Prior to the show, we spent the day Saturday at the Navy Pier since the weather was so crappy (cold rain, snow and the world-famous wind of Chicago that was producing massive whitecaps and waves on Lake Michigan that one could, given enough warm weather gear, probably body-board, if not outright surf). Walked through the Smith Museum of Stained Glass Windows ... which was AMAZING. (yep, pictures to follow. Imagine that!) Had a couple of cool drinks (with take-home souvenir glasses) at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company, and despite not liking the movie all that much (and having just seen the whole thing for the first time start to finish in 2007), still answered three trivia questions right.

Spent a little bit of time at the Cobra talking to Justin's mom, Cole, Dan, Krista, Sean and various other people about my new hair do (big-ass Afro wig I bought at the Navy Pier).

Spent a lot of time at the Cobra talking to Aaron Lee Tasjan ... both before and after his blistering guitar work that had the guys in the opening bands wow'ed. Then again, most are wow'ed seeing Aaron play.

[SIDENOTE: I urge everyone in the greater metropolitan Columbus area to come get wow'ed as Aaron plays the Rhumba Room on April 23 ... backed by the genius that is Two Cow Garage ... and bring some cash money to purchase Aaron's debut (as far as you know) solo album "Hard Love and Free Luck" ... which I'll be reviewing here later this week.

And then come see Two Cow Garage blow the bark off Andyman's Treehouse on April 25 ... but bring your earplugs. END SIDENOTE]

And finally closed out the weekend stopping off in Indianapolis for a bit ... saw Monument Circle, stopped at the Hard Rock Cafe, Circle Center Mall (four floors of shopping goodness) and got home at 9:15 p.m. - exactly 36 hours after we left.

Oh, and we saw a midget, too.

UFC 71 ... join me at BW3's

Soooo .... if you're bored on Saturday ... I'll be at the BW3's in Austintown watching UFC 71 ... where Quinton "Rampage" Jackson *should* take the UFC Light Heavyweight Championship off of Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell.

WHAT?

Yeah, I said it. I see Chuck going down.

For some of the same reasons that Rampage demolished Liddell in 2003 when they fought in Pride's 2003 Middleweight GP Semi-Finals (Pride considers the 205-pound weight class Middleweight; UFC considers it Light Heavyweight). Rampage took Liddell to task ... he beat his ass. Rampage is a top-notch striker who can take the fury from Chuck as he works his way inside for the trademark Rampage Slam. Just like he did in Japan.

I see that happening again.

Because Rampage is deep inside Chuck's head ... and so is Chuck's hype.

Chuck wants revenge for the only loss he has yet to avenge. He's been unstoppablesince the loss to Rampage ... and has avenged two of his three losses (Randy Couture and Jeremy Horn) and has been pretty much invincible ... and he's the poster child of the UFC ... on the cover of Sports Illustrated, and all the sports talk shows ... everyone talking about how great he is ... all of which leads to over confidence.

The four other fights on the main event card also have some great match-ups, too:

Terry Martin Vs. Ivan Salaverry
Match-up of two old-timers ... Salaverry is hit or miss ... he's either really good or really bland. Terry Martin can stone cold knock a bitch out. I see Salaverry getting KTFO'd, unless he can get Martin down and submit him. Nope, Martin. KO.

Josh Burkman Vs. Karo Parisyan
This is my choice for the show-stealer ... Karo "The Heat" versus "The People's Warrior." I have no idea which way this will go ... Burkman's a fighter, but Parisyan is a Judo master who can throw Buicks if needed. Styles make fights ... and I see Parisyan trying to stand with Burkman, which is a bad idea. Why? Well, here's a highlight from Burkman's Q&A:

Q: What is your favorite technique?
A: Punching people in the face."

Houston Alexander Vs. Keith Jardine
Jardine ... who was knicknamed "KlanMan" by Rebecca and I when he was on the Ultimate Fighter (he has that White Supremacist look about him). His opponent is a black man from East St. Louis, IL ... where race is a way of life. Alexander is making his UFC debut, but he is 6-1 in his MMA career. I see Jardine putting a beating on Alexander like he did Forrest Griffin in what yet another surprise in what has been an eventful year for favorites in the UFC. Alexander likes to punch, so this will be a stand-up war until someone falls down.

Kalib Starnes Vs. Chris Leben
I'm no fan of Chris Leban and his mouth writing checks his body can't cash, but at least he's not a whiny bitch like Kalib "I broke my rib" Starnes. I see Leban beating down Starnes like the whiny bitch he is. And I see Starnes crying all the way back to Canada, while Leban runs his mouth until his next beatdown against real competition.

There ... now we'll find out Sunday if I was right or wrong! Or ... Saturday ... if you're joining me.

Wanna get rocked?

Friday - May 11 - Brillo Box - Pittsburgh
Semi Precious Weapons

Saturday - May 12 - Little Brothers - Columbus
Two Cow Garage

Um, be there.

Or not.

But if you're not, you're gonna miss out.

That's all I'm sayin'.

There are endings to all things

There are endings to all things ... including my week here in Columbus. Training has been quite informative, educational and frustrating at the same time. This could totally be a three day class. But it's five. So there's downtime and drag in the class, and inefficiency drives me crazy.

Anyway ... tonight I'm heading out to see Two Cow Garage at Andyman's Treehouse, which, to me, is the perfect way to end the week, and a grand finale to my final week in Columbus. Tomorrow morning I wake up, put Columbus in my rear view mirror (again) and head north to Norwalk to help my mom move back to Niles.

Don't get me wrong ... I've enjoyed my week in Columbus. It was nice hanging out with old friends, meeting some new friends, hunting midgets with Brian and making two trips to both the Funny Bone (Drew Hastings, Jake Johannsen) and Andyman's Treehouse (Ryan Cox, Two Cow Garage).

But as I said earlier this week, the love I used to feel for this city is gone. Just gone. I spent a lot of time driving around this week, old neighborhoods, new neighborhoods, uptown, downtown, east and west. And I just wasn't feeling it. I don't see myself spending any more long weekends here hanging out. Coming down for shows, yes (Aaron Tashjian, April 6th, at the Treehouse; Cinco de Mayo with Watershed [that's on May 5th for you Gringos] if they have it, and they better; Comfest, June 22-24, for sure!)

It wasn't all bad ... I had a couple of great offers to do photography ... one wedding, two albums and three personal shoots. And yeah, I'm not a big fan of wedding photography, but these two crazy kids are worth the work. Granted, I'll have to drive to Tiffin in June of 2008 ... and while I'm a busy guy, I'm not too busy to schedule that far out.

But yeah, weddings aside, quite possibly, coming soon to a wrecka sto near you (shout out to my Prince "Under The Cherry Moon" fans), me fulfilling one of my life-long dreams - having a credited photo in an album. I don't care if it's the cover, or the inside shot ... I've always wanted a photo credit on an album. That could possibly happen this year! With one or both musicians who asked.

So on Saturday, I'll be back in Niles. Ready to find things to do there. And stop looking 183 miles southwest.

Endings to all things, indeed.

"Monet in Normandy" at CMA

Everyone has their favorite Claude ... mine happens to be Lemieux, the hockey player.

Then again, I'm weird.

But if your favorite Claude is named Monet ... and he happens to be a famous French impressionist painter, make some plans to get to Cleveland before May 20th ... the Cleveland Museum of Art has some cool Claude shit on display in.

I saw a lot of his work on display in Chicago last summer. Dude can paint it, straight up serious. And "Water Lillies" is one of those things that every adult should view, at least once, to see why museums are worth supporting.

Anyway ... from the CMA news release:

Cleveland is the third and final U.S stop for the show "Monet in Normandy," which is billed as the first scholarly exhibition to celebrate the relationship between Claude Monet and his native landscape.

Born in Paris, Monet moved to the Normandy coast as a young child and frequently returned to the region, which was the subject for some of his most significant works of the 1860s. The Impressionist master spent the last 30 years of his life in Giverny, a village on the eastern border of Normandy.

The exhibition is organized geographically and feature about 50 paintings, including the Cleveland museum’s own "Water Lilies" (1920-26). Works are on loan from prominent collections throughout Europe and North America, including the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston; The Art Institute of Chicago; National Galleries of Scotland; The National Gallery, London; and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.

"Monet in Normandy" will be on display through May 20 at the Cleveland Museum of Art, 11150 East Blvd.

Admission is $15 for adults and $10 for senior citizens, university students and children ages 6 to 18. CMA members and children ages 5 and younger are admitted free.

Big weekend plans.

Okay ... I'm out for the long holiday weekend ... starting on Thursday:

Thursday - Doctor's appointment in New Castle, then taking my step-daughter (she's 12) to see Sean Paul at the House of Blues in Cleveland ... stop laughing. She loves the Sean Paul. She's never been to a concert. Her mother bought the tickets ... so I'm stepping up to the plate and taking one for the team and taking her. Who knows, I might like it. I did see MC Hammer, twice, and liked it. And Vanilla Ice. And Run DMC. And Public Enemy. So I'm down with the hip-hop scene (as down as a 37-year-old, prematurly-graying cracka with bad knees can be, but still ...) (Um, anyone know anything Sean Paul sings cause I sure as heck don't.)

Friday - some work stuff in the Youngstown/Warren area during the day, then maybe the Canfield Fair if the weather's nice, or if not, some bowling or a movie or the pool at the hotel.

Saturday - Grabbing the kids and heading back to Columbus for the Star Wars exhibit at COSI... with my camera this time (DOH!) to get some good pics ... and because it's cool, and it's leaving town after the doors close Monday ... then taking them back home Saturday night and staying in Austintown.

Sunday - back to the House of Blues in Cleveland for Pat Green because Chris Skrobot is on guitar ... and because Pat Green's new album is pretty rockin' compared to his last.

That's right, people, Cannonball is pretty darn good, I downloaded it from iTunes for $10. You should, too.

Monday - Canfield Fair if it's nice .. then home to Cbus, for more studying ... because I'm planning on taking another certification test on Friday. I should have internet access at the hotel ... but if not, talk to you next week.

Comfest kicks ass.

Well, Sunday had a brief change of plans, and it was all good.

Got a call from Chris Skrobot, my motherfucking hero, telling me that the X-Rated Cowboys were playing Comfest Sunday afternoon at 5 p.m.in place of someone who was broke her leg and wasn't able to play.

So I called up Mark Nye and asked if there was an opener for Semi Precious Weapons in Cincinnati ... if we left Comfest at 6 we'd get to Cinci about 8 ... SPW show was supposed to start at 8 ... with opener we'd have time.

Mark told me he'd check.

He calls back and says that there's big problems at the venue in Cincinnati and it doesn't look like the show will be happening.

So we hit Comfest. Again.

And the Cowboys, with Tom Boyer filling in on accordian and Ben Lee on bass rocked the Gazebo stage after the Katie Reider Band was finished. And I loves me some Katie, too.

During the show I got a message from Mark saying that the SPW show was indeed cancelled. So we enjoyed the Cowboys: We being me, Kara, Summer & her hubby Bill. When it was over, since we had time to kill, we decide to check the show schedule and see who else is playing.

And we saw this:

8:00 - Off Ramp Stage - TWO COW GARAGE.

Um, to quote me, from my previous blog, FUCK YEAH.

So we get some beer, parade through some smelly hippies, talk to Shaun and grab a prime-soon-to-be-front-row-spot and wait for 8:00 for Two Cow Garage.

And it was even better than Saturday's show at the Treehouse.

Again, I say, FUCK YEAH.

But seriously ... I'm a good photographer. It's damn near impossible to photograph these guys. They rock hard.

Check these pics and see for yourself. Up first is bassist Shane Sweeney. His face is the only thing in focus because he rocks the rest of the world. Then Shane and Dustin Harigle (a.k.a. Jesus on the Drums) rock the world. The Micah Schnabel takes his turn. And finally, this is how the show looks ... non-stop motion. And if you're thinking I've got a shaky camera hand, check out the amp between the two of them. That shit's in prime focus showing you it wasn't camera movement. They rock this hard:



After that ... we went over to the merchandise stand and each of us bought their CD and rocked it on the way home.

Now it's bedtime. I'm officially rocked out.

Weekend wrapup

Weekend continued:

Sunday:

• Woke up with Kara (yay!) ...
  
• In a puddle of drool (mine) because my nose was totally and completely stuffed up (boo).
• Got showered, dressed and headed up to Warren via Sharpsville, Pa.
• Rocked out to Bullet Jones.
• Rocked out to Autumn Under Echoes Swigtooth.
• Discussed Autumn Under Echoes changing their name to Swigtooth with Kara.
• Rocked out some more.
  
• Went to a 90th birthay party for my mom's father. I hope I'm as spry at 80 as he is at 90. Man, he had a blast. Pictures to follow.
• Had Buena Vista Chicken.
• Kara also had Buena Vista Chicken.
• Kara wants Warren to move to Columbus just for its cool restaurants (Brother's Subs, Buena Vista Chicken, Sunrise Pizza, etc.)
• Saw my mom and all four of my mom's siblings.
• Hung out with my cool cousin Tim and his wife Amber and their son Joshua. They live in Texas. I'm visiting them in September.
• Hung out with my cool uncle from Arizona and his wife Bonnie. Going to hang out with them in September, too.
• Hung out with my two sisters and their other halfs (Mimi and Ron, the hippies, and Juli and Jimmy, the non-hippies).
• Hung out with mom's cool friends and caught up on old times and shit like that.
• Introduced Kara to damn near everyone on my mom's side of the family. And she didn't dump me.
• Watched a bunch of kids have fun on a playground full of playground equipment.
• Took a shitload of pictures and video.
• Took Cammi, Jess and Gage back home and surprised Patti and Adam with Buena Vista Chicken. Yum.
• Got some Dunkin' Donuts coffee.
• Got some Brother's Italian Subs.
• Headed home to Columbus
• Did a rough count of people coming to the Birthday Bash at On The Border at Easton tomorrow
• Got home at 11 p.m.
• Read a great email from Patty Lynn thanking me for coming to her show. How cool is that?
• Blogged this in 12 minutes.
• Going the hell to sleep.
• Peace out.
  

I am Savior Faire

I am everywhere.

Quick recap, bullet-point style (in honor of Bullet Jones)

Friday:

• Woke up. (Always a good way to start your day, eh?)
  
• Worked. 15 more days left. Yay me.
  
• Dinner at PF Chang's with Kara, Lauren & Brian. Yum.
• Gameworks where Kara & I beat Lauren & her dad at 4-player air hockey. Then Lauren schooled Kara, her dad Brad and two others on the Indy Racing League. Games like that give me seizures and motion sickness so I watched from the sidelines.
  
• Heywood Banks at the Funny Bone. Heywood's a funnier guy than I thought. He's more than his songs.
• The Receiver at the Ravari Room. Great show. Can't wait for their CD to come out.

Saturday:

• Woke up. (Always a good way to start your day, eh?)
  
• Got showered and dressed and left.
  
• Went to Speedway at 161 and Cleveland for gas and coffee and a diet coke for Kara. That's where the day's first problem with morons at cash registers and broken machines happened.
• Got some Dunkin Donuts Coffee. Yum.
  
• Went to McDonald's on 161 for a diet coke. Dead soda machine.
• Got Kara.
• Went to McDonalds at 36/37 and I-71 for a diet coke for Kara and a breakfast sandwich for me. Took like 10 minutes in the drivethru and the dumbass girl asked me if I ordered a bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit with only eggs. Um, no. That would be an egg biscuit.
  
• Headed out to see her family for a cook-out celebrating Kara's birthday. Stopped on the way to fix her brother's computer with a memory upgrade and virus removal. Because that's how I roll. Need help with your system? Click here. I work cheap and make housecalls.
• Went to the Columbus Art Festival to see Patty Lynn. Great show. Great voice. Great lyrics. I'll have video up later. No time this weekend.
• Dinner at Damon's in the Arena District. And we had front-door on-street parking. In the Arena District. I know. Damon's Ribs. Yum. Monique - the waitress - dumb. Slow. Overworked. It showed in her tip. And we're normally good tippers. But when you have to go to the bar to get your own drink refills ... and you're drinking iced tea, that's bad. Bad. Black girl with flowing breasts eating outside with massive fleshive displays when she laughed? That's good (and Kara agreed, so no need to toss out ugly thoughts at me for checking out another woman's boobs. When they're that much on display, you can't help but look.)
• Bullet Jones CD Release Party ... which requires more than bullet points.

There were four bands at Oldfield's. Bullet Jones was the headliner. With reason.

Frohman played first. They were good. Great cover of Bob Marley's Redemption Song that started off like a shitty "reproduction" cover. My take on covers is this. If you're a cover band, do covers, and do them exactly like they were done the first time. That's your job. If you're not a cover band but do a couple ... do something to them. Make it your own song. Show your originality. They did that with this song. Ever hear a punk reggae song? That's what they did with Redemption Song. And pulled it off.

Koka Kola Death Squad was next. There's more to life than Iggy Pop's Stooges album and the Sex Pistols "Never Mind The Bollocks." Really. Apparently they have to change their name to KKDS because Coca-Cola isn't happy. I guess that's all they can do. You can't squeeze blood from a turnip, you can't take money from struggline musicians, and they don't have any talent to usurp, either.

The Doggers ended the night for us. Sorry. Three boys in makeup are bad enough. One looked like he was kicked out of Green Day and wanted to steal all their gimmick at once. One looked like Scott Weiland post-herion. THEN he put on a red boa. The drummer looked like their love child. And I'm not sure exactly what their musical style is other than "nothing we liked."

So we left. In a hurry.

But we did buy the Bullet Jones CD. Twice. So Kara and I both have one. Because they're good. And talked to Ryan and Lee (vocalist and guitarist). They're good guys. Serious musicians. And worthy of your time. And I don't make that statement often. If you like all that was good about arena/classic rock mixed with all that was good about grunge and all that's good about post-punk alternative ... you'll love Bullet Jones. I do.

And the other reason we left early was we're going to Warren, Ohio, tomorrow (Sunday) for my grandfather's 90th birthday party.

And some Buena Vista chicken.

And to see everyone on my mom's side of the family ... uncle from Arizona, aunt from Texas, assorted cousins, both my sisters ... and Kara gets to meet them all in one fell swoop.

So if you see her twitching at On The Border on Monday at 7 at Easton where we celebrate her birthday ... you'll know why - she's finally met my family.

ANYWAY ... I'm out. Rocking. To Bullet Jones. Pieces of Me. Great song.

Don't forget ... Monday night, 7 p.m., On The Border at Easton for Kara's Birthday Bash, day one.

Be there. If you're local.

We're busy. You're invited.

Well ...

If you wanna hang out anytime in the next 10 days ... you'll have to come find us.

Friday:

5:30 - Dinner at PF Chang's at Easton

7:15 - Heywood Banks at the Funny Bone

(above events with Brian and Lauren)

10:00 - The Receiver at the Rivari Room.

Saturday:

12:00 - Cookout at Kara's parents for her birthday

5:15 - Patty Lynn at the Columbus Arts Festival

7:30 - Bullet Jones CD Release Party at Oldfield's on High

Sunday:

Noon - 5 - My Grandpa's 90th Birthday Party, Packard Park, Warren, Ohio.

Monday:

7:00 - Dinner at On The Border at Easton for Kara's 32nd Birthday. Yes, you're all invited.

Tuesday:

8:00 - Watershed playing Cheap Trick songs at Skulley's in honor of the new Cheap Trick CD.

Wednesday:

10 p.m. - Bullet Jones at the Basement

Thursday:

Watershed at the Gathering at the Continent

Friday:

Going to see CARS with my daughter (and with Kara because, like me, she loves kids movies, too).

Saturday:

Jeffrey Gaines at Club Cafe in Pittsburgh.

Sunday:

Resting. Really.

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See, we're busy people.

In the words of the Barenaked Ladies ... who needs sleep?

Roadtripping with Mario #2

So after our adventure to Toronto, Mario wanted to go to the U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame. I'm sure some of you weren't ever aware there was such a place.

Well, there was.

Yes, that's the proper usage of the past tense of the verb "to be."

Because it closed.

On May 12^th, USAHockey announced it was closing the hall in Eveleth, Minnesota, the birth place of hockey in America, and moving the exhibits somewhere else. Like Minneapolis. Or maybe even somewhere that people live.

That's not Eveleth, Minnesota.

I've been there.

With Mario.

Which is why today's Eric Broz Rerun or Blogging up The Past is Roadtripping With Mario, Part II The U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame.

In Eveleth, Minnesota.

Which is a long-ass drive from Warren, Ohio.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was a long-ass time to be in a car. Even longer when you have stops along the way that take you off the suggested AAA TripTik route.

We left heading out west, to Detroit, because Mario wanted to get some Detroit Junior Whalers merchandise. And we stopped in Toledo for me to get some Toledo Storm stuff. Like a new hat.

This trip was before internet shopping was perfected. Before you could buy anything, from anywhere, at any time, with a few mouse clicks. And we made it through Detroit without getting shot. Then again, we're not rappers, and nobody back then was really targeting overweight white boys for sport shooting.

We made it through Detroit, and Ohio, into Indiana. And Illinois. And drove past O'Hare International Airport. Now if you've never been to Chicago, and never driven past O'Hare, it's quite a site.

O'Hare is the busiest airport in the continental United States. It averages one take-off or landing every thirty seconds. The air is full of low-flying planes coming seemingly from all angles. Actually, there are well-known approach and departure vectors, and the men and women who manage the air traffic for that airport are fucking amazing.

Kara don't ever go anywhere near there. Trust me.

(Kara hates low-flying aircraft that appear to just hover there in the sky)

So we get past that and approach the Wisconsin line. And see the most amazing site just over the line. It was the largest adult emporium we'd ever seen. I'm talking Barnes & Noble sized. Right next door to a cheese shop. And a beer distributor. That, as my friend Kym who lived in Milwaukee said, sums up all you need to know about live in Wisconsin save hunting and fishing: Beer, Porn and Cheese.

So between the beer/cheese/porn emporium and Milwaukee, lies the Bong Recreation Area.

True fucking place.

And Mario being the stoner he was, we had to stop.

So we stop, piss, grab some snacks and we're back on the road. Driving through an August thunderstorm in Wisconsin's cow country reminded me a whole lot of the scene in "Twister" where they saw a flying cow. And another flying cow. "Nope, same cow."

Anyway no flying cows. Just us. And we're driving and we're tired. So we stop and spend the night in Eau Claire, Wisconsin.

Not Claire Danes, who I'd love to spend a night, or at least an hour in. Eau Claire, Wisconsin.

That's all I have to say about that.

We got up early the next morning, like when the rooster crows early, figuring we were still about six or seven hours from Eveleth, barring any traffic in Minneapolis ... and our motel was having a big-ass farmer's breakfast that all the townsfolk from Eau Claire loved and visited daily.

We were told this at check in by the blonde girl. Who had that midwest cuteness that makeup can't match.

So we get up before 7 a.m. and make the kind of "hey we're tourists" entrance that two fat pale white guys from Ohio make while trying to blend in with the farmers in August in Wisconsin between my allergies and his total lack of pigmentation, everyone could tell, to quote Drew Hastings, just by looking at us, we were farmers. "Kitty stay.")

And in talking to one of the locals, she told us that if we went north on Route 53 we'd knock three hours off the trip by not having to go to and through Minneapolis. We would be there by noon if we left at 8, because there were no real speed limits, and no cops between Eau Claire and Duluth. That bit was added by the sheriff who was having breakfast with us.

So that's exactly we did. Hauled ass out of Eau Claire, and averaged between 80 and 90 driving up Wisconsin Route 53.

And saw two of the most amazing things I've ever seen in my life.

First was a bald eagle eating some road kill. From a distance, I thought it was a small bear. It was that big. As the car got closer, it took off. I nearly wrecked the car watching that sucker fly.

Now if you've only ever seen a bald eagle at a zoo, sitting on a branch, with its wings tucked, you might have wondered "Why the hell is that our national bird. It's not that impressive."

When you see one of them take off and fly away, or if you're lucky enough to see one in the wild, as I did when I was in the military, you realize you're looking at a bird with a wingspan of 4-6 feet, razor sharp talons and a beak that can pluck your eye out. In flight. Very impressive.

Eventually, we neared the Wisconsin/Minnesota state line. We knew this because the road signs kept saying "Duluth" and the miles next to Duluth kept decreasing. decreasing. And I know Duluth is in Minnesota.

So as I wonder how much further we have until Duluth, and why we have yet to see as much as a suburb of this impressive city, we drove over the Bong Bridge.

It was one of those bridges that appears out of nowhere. And you can't see what's on the other side. You're going up. And up. And up.

And then, we reached the top.

And it was absolutely fucking beautiful.

Lake Superior, which is said to never give up her dead when the skies of November turn gloomy (Shout out my Canadian Brother Gordon Lightfoot. Eh?), exploded on the right hand side. Like there was nothing but bridge one minute, the next was a big lake that encompassed everything as far as you could see.

With a town built up into the mountains behind it.

That's Duluth, Minnesota. It's beautiful.

That view was so amazing we turned around once we got over the bridge, drove back into Wisconsin, and drove back over the Bong Bridge to see it again.

And it was just as nice the second time.

I've got to get back there with Cammi.

So after that, in about 35 minutes, we make our way to Eveleth. And the U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame. After all, that's why we were in Minnesota. Since stalking Bob Mould wasn't on Mario's agenda.

And we arrived. Excited. Anxious. And, as we pulled onto Hat Trick Lane, we saw a restaurant and immediately looked forward to having dinner after a full day of exploring the history of hockey in America at the Stanley Cup Café which was located right next door. The Hockey Hall of Fame in Canada featured dinner at Gretzky's. The U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame will feature dinner at the Stanley Cup Café.

We pull in just after noon and park. The woman at breakfast was right. Like 4 hours on the road, not counting the 15 minutes to make the bridge crossing twice.

And since it was a Thursday, there were not too many other cars there. Like two. Cool. No crowds. (Turns out there were never crowds. The place averaged about 10,000 a year. It needed 30,000 a year to survive.)

Anyway, we walk up, plunk down our $6 and walk in.

And 45 minutes later we were back where we started.

Back at the beginning.

We blinked.

This is a dream, right?

We obviously missed something, right?

A lot of somethings, right?

So we walk through again, map in hand, making sure we see all that there is to see regarding the history of hockey in America.

And in 30 minutes realize, nope, that first trip through - we had seen it all.

And it's not quite 1:30 p.m.

Twenty-four hours in a car. For a 75 minute visit. And we saw all there was to see.

Twice.

At the aptly instantly renamed "U. S. Hockey Hallway of Fame and Attached Garage Turned into a Museum."

Alrighty then.

So to say we're feeling let down is an understatement.

We felt hoodwinked.

Bamboozled.

(Oh, sorry. Was turning into an angry black man quoting Malcolm X. My bad. Pale white boy is back).

We figured we could at least salvage the day at Stanley Cup Café.

So we pull out, go back down Hat Trick Lane, and pull into a very empty parking lot at the Stanley Cup Café.

Walk up the steps.

Gaze through the window at the dark, empty restaurant.

And notice the sign on the door that says they open at 4 p.m.

On Friday and Saturday.

And right then, as we stood on the deck, it was Thursday.

At 1:35 p.m.

So we walked back to the car.

And paused there. In the parking lot.

A thousand miles from home.

Hungry.

Disappointed.

And pissed off.

How pissed? We got in the car, said "Fuck it, let's just go home."

And we did.

Driving straight through, 20 hours. Back to my Ohio (see, I got an Swig Tooth lyric in there. HA! Back to my Ohio is from "August is a Blessing." And Swig Tooth is playing Wednesday in Pittsburgh and Friday in Columbus at Andyman's Treehouse. Come out. Get your face rocked off.)

Arriving around 11 a.m.

Vowing to tell everyone what an amazing time we had and how wonderful it was and how great a trip it was.

And that, boys and girls, is the story of our visit to the U.S. Hockey Hallway of Fame and Attached Garage turned Museum.

Stay tuned for the next Eric Broz Rerun ... Blogging the Past - Roadtripping with Mario for Part III Hershey, Pennsylvania for the American Hockey League's All Star Game.

Where we met Barry Melrose.

And (as I start getting hated on by Kerry in 5,4,3,2,1 ) touched his hair.

A weekend full of C's

Curry. Cripples. Cline. Congestion. Cheerleaders. Chocolate. Cherry Pie.

Now that's some alliteration.

And that's how you spend a great weekend.

We'll start at about 8:30 a.m. Friday when we got rolling.

Icey Blue (that's my car's name, given by Cammi, another C but not part of this weekend) was fueled up, packed up and on the way to New Jersey. It was a totally uneventful journey east. Couple of minor construction delays, but nothing earthshaking.

We found the hotel with one minor wrong turn that was a two-block diversion. That's when the alliteration started.

As we walked into the hotel, we saw a lot of Indians (dot, not feather) and a lot of people in wheelchairs.

That's the curry and cripples.

Then came two hours of Cline.

Nels Cline.

Guitar God Nels Cline.

Currently playing with Wilco.

Currently playing with Wilco at the Starland Ballroom in New Jersey.

Where we stood.

Four feet away from guitar God Nels Cline.

I was very impressed. And pissed that I left my camera in the car, leaving me to shoot with my crappy camera phone

Saturday brought rain, which brought congestion.

Saturday also brought a Snapple sale at PathMark, because only in New Jersey have I found my Snapple brand in serious quantities.

And Saturday also brought a trip to Hershey, PA. Where we walked into the middle of a chocolate kingdom packed with cheerleaders.

All buying chocolate.

As I told Kara, looks like a lot of chocolate will be thrown up tonight.

Saturday night found us in Pittsburgh at the Club Cafe for Canadians.

Kathleen Edwards.

With Kate York opening.

Two great Canadian singer-songwriters.

And I had my camera for this show. But we were standing about 15 feet away and off to the side. But I did get two good shots of Kathleen.

And, in typical Eric fashion, ran into someone I know: a guy I worked with at Calgon Carbon, and his wife, so we talked with them, enjoyed the show, and when it was over, headed to Eat 'n' Park for some food.

Kara ordered a sandwich and soup combo, I got the liver and onions. Yes, I like liver. Yes, Eat 'n' Park has great liver.

And apathetic waitresses.

There's nothing quite as nice as seeing red food on your knife when you didn't order anything red.

I ordered liver and onions and mashed potatoes and cottage cheese. None of which are red.

And when I pointed this out to the waitress, and told her it looked like my knife had some cherry pie remnants on it, she replied with the following:

"Maybe it's strawberry pie."

Not "I'm really sorry."

Not "Can I get you a new one."

Nope, just "Maybe it's strawberry pie."

Yeah.

So we headed home. Stopping only at Kroger at Bridgeville, Ohio, for a dose of sinus medicine to clear the congestion so we could breathe; and some gas and coffee at a Pilot station.

Home at 3 a.m. Sunday.

That, my friends, is a full weekend.

Alliteration and all.

Random Thoughts #5

Drivers of Ohio - please re-read your Digest of Ohio Motor Vehicle Laws ... and while we're at it, the Responsible Driver Handbook and try to understand the whole "Assured Clear Distance" section that basically says you're required to keep a safe distance between you and objects in front of you.

When I can't see your bumper in my rear-view miror, and we're going about 70 miles an hour, you're waaaaaaaay too fucking close.

And I quote Section 12603 of the State of Ohio General Code:

"Sec. 4511.21. (A) No person shall operate a motor vehicle, trackless trolley, or streetcar at a speed greater or less than is reasonable or proper, having due regard to the traffic, surface, and width of the street or highway and any other conditions, and no person shall drive any motor vehicle, trackless trolley, or streetcar in and upon any street or highway at a greater speed than will permit the person to bring it to a stop within the assured clear distance ahead."

In other words, if you are driving behind a car or a truck, you must be able to stop if that car or truck stops.

Good rule of thumb here ... if you can read the licence plate of the car in front of you, you're too close. Back the fuck up.

---

I love Panera. I eat there many times a week because their salads are good, their bread is good, their coffee is good. But they're smart, too. Peanut butter & jelly on the menu for kids who won't eat anything else. Genius.

Like my 8-year-old who hated the Pizza Hut express pizza because "it tasted funny" and wasn't going to eat it.

---

I'm getting used to the haircut. Still not all that happy with it, but it works.

---

My ex-wife is getting remarried. People think my happiness for her us unnatural. Then again, the fact that we get along well, and never devolved into the stupidity that a lot of divorcing/divorced people get into I'm sure has a lot to do with it. I'm happy for her. The guy she's marrying is exactly what she wanted and I wasn't. That's not a knock on me at all ... just an honest look at things.

What's even better is when I tell people our entire divorce cost about $350. We talked to a lawyer, he said he could only represent one of us. We told him what we wanted, he drew up the paperwork, we signed, he filed, case closed.

I wish them nothing but the best. If people can't understand that, they need to take a look at their relationships and analyze, not mine.

---

Busy week coming up ... studying for another certification test, then Kara and I are taking off on another adventure: We start on Thursday night in Columbus with Drew Hastings (the best comic, ever) ... with the lovely and probably still hung-over Lauren.

Friday morning Kara and I take off in Icey for our first out-of-state adventure in the new car as we drive across Pennsylvania to Sayreville, New Jersey to see Wilco on Friday.

We then wake up Saturday morning and head back into Pennsylvania, back across the state to Pittsburgh to see the lovely and talented and red-haired Kathleen Edwards, a Canadian singer-songwriter, in Pittsburgh on Saturday.

Sunday we're resting. Really. She's off on Monday, I start training on Monday in Dublin (Ohio) for some server hardware stuff that I wanted to get done.

And I start school on Tuesday. And Wednesday Kara & I are heading up to Cleveland to see Watershed.

And Saturday (now we're into the 28th) I have to work, but Saturday night is the CD Release Party for The Receiver at Skully's. Come on out and support Casey & Jesse and the other bands that are playing.

---

No, we don't sleep much. Really.

---

And speaking of good bands you should see when they're in town, you know I love me some Swig Tooth and X-Rated Cowboys and Rockhouse ... well, Mark Nye, the bassist on all three and vocalist for Rockhouse is heading east to Brooklyn. So get out to see him before he goes. Check his calendar or mine for dates, times and places. Because you will miss him when he's gone.

This was a rockin' show

You haven't lived until you've borne witness to what I saw today.

Yes, that's right. I challenge ANYONE to defy what I saw was the height of the field it's in.

Allow me to explain.

What I saw was amazing.

It was a once-in-a-lifetime happening … that happened at 10:30 and 2:00 on Saturday, and I believe twice before on Friday and is planned for two or three more times on Sunday; and then other dates and times in other cities, but believe me, you need not see it more than once in your life.

One witness.

One viewing.

One vision.

What, you ask, could be all that?

A rap performance.

Yep.

Me.

Music Snob.

Watching a rap performance.

But I'm not talking just any rapper.

But before I tell you who was the height of the genre … I have to lay down a bit of my rap history:

I've seen Vanilla Ice live in concert.

Really.

But put that aside … I do have a solid grasp on the history of rap. I lived it. I'm old.

I lived in the 'hood when I started junior high school in 1980. I came into my musical being with Grandmaster Flash, and a few years later, Run D.M.C.

I've seen Hammer (as Hammer and M.C. Hammer) on stage. He was amazing. (Seriously. I saw him twice, and enjoyed both shows.)

And I've seen L.L. Cool J blow the roof off a building.

And I've seen Chuck D and Flav (when he was cool the first time) absolutely demolish the crowd at Bogart's in Cincinnati on an amazing hot October night in 1988 that seared itself into my mind and just makes me weep for music today.

Because Public Enemy … Chuck, Flav, Terminator X and Professor Griff … were the high to the low to the end of the show for the rest of their lives.

Nobody did it better.

And nobody ever will.

And to back it up and name check even further ... I even saw Run, D.M.C. and Jam Master Jay step on stage at Live Aid where all the people gave and the poor got paid.

In person.

Because I was at Live Aid in Philly in 1985.

Because I'm old school, bitches.

So old, in fact, I can even remember when MTV played videos.

And they played only white musicians.

And only black people rapped.

So when I tell you I saw the most amazing rap performer on Saturday, I want you to know not only do I have a base to balance that statement against, but the knowledge and experience to show you I'm a subject expert in world of rap performances.

And for the record, I'm not talking about the performer dropping the bomb for a money makin' playa that ain't with us no mo.

Yeah, like Notorious B.I.G.

Hell no.

And for the record, I ain't talking about a gangbanging thug that never seen it comin'.

Yeah, like Tupac Shakur.

Nah bitches, I'm talkin' 'bout muthafuckin' Grumpy Bear and shit.

That's right.

I said Grumpy Bear.

Rapping.

I saw, with my own eyes, on Saturday, in a building I saw both LL Cool J and NWA play, a big blue badass bear rockin' the mic.

Oh yeah.

The Care Bears Live Experience, 'Caring and Sharing Friends' was at Hara Arena on Saturday.

And I was there.

With my daughter.

Who loves her some Care Bears.

She loved the show. She's 8. In a few years she'll refuse to admit that she loved it. Hell, she'll refuse to admit she was there.

But right here, tonight, she's in her glory.

With a new Care Bear (Thanks-A-Lot Bear), a balloon and a Cheer Bear light spinner.

And my wallet is empty.

But my heart is full of the moment when she saw what we were going to. She loved it. In her words, it was "AWESOME."

And not only did Grumpy Bear rap for us, he moonwalked.

Yep.

And he was laying down some heavy shit, too.

His message-based rap taught us that it's okay to play and fun, but sometimes, you have to be serious and solve problems.

Seriously.

Because while the rest of the Care-A-Lot gang was hanging out and having fun with some little white girl who they kidnapped and took to their rainbow and cloud world, Grumpy was a working bear, trying to keep the rainbow reader full so the rainbows in Care-A-Lot would stay bright and colorful.

He was trying to keep it real.

As real as a person in a bear suit playing Hara Arena in Dayton, Ohio, on a Saturday afternoon in March can be.

Word to your stuffer.