She thinks this is bitter to feel

So once again I'm forced to send my 2005 taxes to the University of Lost Paperwork (I mean, Phoenix) for Financial Aid, because the previous six times I sent them, despite four acknowledgments from them, they don't have them. Again.

After the last email beatdown, my adviser told me my financial aid counselor said I was bitter.

I'm bitter? Because someone can't - or won't - do their job? HA!

So if she thinks this is bitter to feel that way, I bet she'll love this: Basically, I fired her. Here's the email:

---

Jessica,

I hate to sound like a bad guy ... but how many copies of my 2005 taxes do you need?

I've faxed it six times.

Due to various issues from my previous attendance on campus in Pittsburgh, and my duplicate IRN and duplicate info in your systems, some of my records live in the campus world, some of my records live in the online world.

It took several weeks for someone (that being me) to start asking why the forms I'm being given to fax aren't going to the right locations. After the 4th fax, I started making phone calls, wondering why I'm doing what I'm asked to do and you keep asking me for the same stuff. I realized the form I printed from your FAW website had me faxing things to the campus side of the FA house.

So I tried to contact you. That's been as successful as my serial faxing.

Since you have yet to return a single phone call I've made, I ended up calling and my admissions counselor, she had her supervisor and their FA rep at the Pittsburgh location help me figure things out.

I finally faxed my 2005 tax returns to the right number. Twice.

And called you to verify that they were received nearly a month ago.

Again, I have yet to have a phone call from you.

So I called and spoke to someone else in FA who verified the FA office had all the information needed. Why you don't have that is a mystery to me, as are several other things.

I understand that in order to get financial aid I have to fill out the forms and dot the I's and cross the T's and sit, beg and roll over on your command, and I'm going to do it, but really, I'm starting to wonder what's going on with you when you constantly ask me for the same stuff over and over and over, I send it over and over again, and when I try to call you to find out if you've received it, you won't even give me the courtesy of a call back.

Seriously. What's going on? Why is this such a difficult process?

And since I'm asking questions, why do you give me 48 hours to complete a task? If UoP is an education built for busy working adults, perhaps giving me more than 48 hours to complete a task should be taken into consideration, or did you just realize you still don't have this info that's been floating around for the better part of two months now.

I'm sorry to say your 48 hour deadline won't be met. I'm not at home this week. I'm traveling for business. I don't have access to my 2005 taxes to fax you, even though I've done that six previous times, and your office has verified they have at least one copy.

So I ask, again, why is this such a difficult process?

And yes, based on our history, that is probably a rhetorical question. I don't expect an answer. really don't care to hear your answer, either.

In fact, if possible, I'd like a new FA Counselor.

When I'm back at work on Monday, I'll fax my forms, again. But it won't be by 3/23 because I won't be home until 3/25.

And it's obvious you don't have them. Or a clue.

---

For the record, and by some bizarre twist of fate, I did happen to have my portfolio, with my tax return, and the six previous confirmation sheets from the six previous faxes. But being the nice guy I am, I just sent her the tax forms. And an email requesting a reply that she has received them.

Yeah, I'm not holding my breath on that ding in my inbox.

Because it's 11:36 p.m. I still don't have it. I'm not surprised.

Email Beatdowns © - Volume 84

So it's pretty evident I like to write, eh?

And rant.

And when I have something to rant about when I write, all is right in Ericland.

Heh heh.

Today's email beatdown is brought to you by an international adult learning university headquartered in Arizona. Phoenix, Arizona.

I have one goal in mind - to finish my bachelor's degree. Because I want it.

With my crazy schedule, going to school online is my only real option.

So after signing up and filling out all my paperwork THREE TIMES because they had issues with my information from when I previously attended their Pittsburgh campus; and they had issues with my other information from when I previously attended their Columbus campus, I thought the third time was the charm for the paperwork.

Or it should have been.

Today, I got a call from someone in Financial Aid telling me (again) that I (still) have paperwork to fill out ... telling me (again) I've been randomly selected for income verification by the financial aid people.

Which I knew. Because they've already jacked me around twice.

Bottom line - they (again) demanded a copy of my 2005 taxes, my spouse's 2005 taxes and a form stating the number and ages of all people who live with me.

I've already given them my 2005 taxes. And the form.

Twice.

And that's all they're getting.

My divorce was final in 2005, they did not and will not get my ex-wife's 2005 taxes.

According to the IRS, the status at the end of the year is how you're judged, not the status during the year. So for all intents and purposes, they don't need her information.

I think they're just being dicks about it.

As for the verification form - well, as I told them twice on the phone, and twice in writing, I live alone. I don't even have pets.

So when I got the phone call today, I was a bit upset. And proceeded to tell the financial aid person all of the above. In the very direct, pointed and polite manner I have when I'm pissed off at stupidity. If you've heard me ... you know. And if it's been directed at you, well, you know. Yeah, sometimes, Mr. Chapin, words can serve me well.

So after hanging up, I sent the following Email Beatdown© to my enrollment counselor:

Mimi,

I just got the MOST frustrating call from someone in Financial Aid telling me they're received my spouse's tax information and now need mine and a verification form.

Why is this such as hassle? At this point I'm tired of filling out the same paperwork over and over again and being told it's the wrong stuff.

Please tell you financial aid peoeple the following:

1. They don't have my spouse's tax information. They have mine. My divorce was final in 2005. They don't need and will not get my ex-wife's 2005 taxes.
   
   
2. The verification worksheet of who lives in my residence is ME. I'm divorced. I live alone. I don't even have pets.
   
   
3. IF by some chance there is SOME FORM I still haven't filled out, signed and faxed at least three times, rather than have the person from Financial Aid who deals with said form as part of her job treat me like I'm an idiot for not knowing what the form is, have her use some customer service skills (because I am a customer. Granted, I'm a potential student, but you are a for-profit business, and I am your revenue stream, so I am a customer. Now that we're clear on that, give me credit for an Economics course, and tell your financial aid person if I still have a form that's not completed, rather than chastise me, tell me what form it is, where I can find it or offer to email it to me.
   
   
4. Their inability to understand 1, 2 and 3 have me seriously considering stopping this process before I even start classes.
   
   

So far, in the words of Genesis, there's been no reply at all.

Heh heh.