Wrapping up 2010 with 50 Questions

So here's my End-O-Year Roundup. Last time I ddi this was for 2006. So, if you're a blogger, fill this out yourself.

1. Was 2010 a good year for you?
It was a very good year.

2. What was your favorite moment of the year?
Falling in love. And realizing it before I let her get away.

3. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
The hours I worked.

4. Where were you when 2010 began?
Playing Apples To Apples with my daughter and some great friends.

5. Who were you with?
Cammi, Cindy, Mark, Alex, Donna and a bunch of other kids.

6. Where were you when 2010 ended?
In Columbus at a New Year's Eve bash that featured lots of friends, a gang fight, gunshots in the parking lot and kicking off 2011 with the love of my life!

7. Who were you with when 2010 ended?
All sorts of friends who I won't name or tag to protect the guilty, but Sarah was there so my 2011 started off super!

8. Did you keep your new years resolution of 2010?
I don't make resolutions.

9. Do you have a new years resolution for 2011?
No, as I said, I don't make resolutions. Here's why

10. Did you breakup with anyone in 2010?
Sarah. Because I'm stupid like that. Luckily she took my dumb ass back!

11. Did you make any new friends in 2010?
A whole shitload. I'm social like that.

12. Who are your favorite new friends?
Favorite friends? What are we, in high school? (Okay, Sarah, Amber, Megan, Brian, Mike N, Mike J, Jen R and most of the rest of the new friends I made!)

13. What were your five favorite moments of 2010?

1. March. Met Sarah. Nuff said. My daughter turned 12 and my friends are seeing how much like me she is now that she's on Facebook and cracking them up, too.
2. May.  Sarah kissed me for the first time. And stole my heart.
3. June.  Sarah and I went to a lesbian wedding in Cincinnati and a Pirates game in Pittsburgh the same weekend and followed that up with our first Comfest the next weekend.
4. October. Vacation with Sarah and Aidan when we spent my birthday weekend hitting Delaware, Maryland and Virginia with my daughter and Aidan got to visit his first lighthouse.
5. December. Getting back together with Sarah after getting over some serious personal bullshit I needed to deal with.

14. Did you travel outside of the USA in 2010?
Nope. I'm getting xenophobic in my old age. I'd rather explore what greatness our country has to offer.

15. How many different states did you travel to in 2010?
Seven. PA, WV, MD, VA, KY, NY, DE

16. Did you lose anybody close to you in 2010?
No, I don't think I did. A couple of friends, they're alive, but we're not friends anymore. Which isn't always a bad thing.


17. Did you miss anybody in the past year?
No. I'm a heartless bastard. (Yes, of course, everyone misses someone, so I'll pick Mary!)

18. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2010?
Zombie Women of Satan

19. What was your favorite song from 2010?
"Fuck You" - Cee-Lo Green and "You Were Always The One" - Patrick Park

20. What was your favorite new album from 2010?
Two Cow Garage "Sweet Saint Me"

21. How many concerts did you see in 2010?
Hahahahaha. No idea. Lots. Lots. Lots.

22. Did you have a favorite concert in 2010?
Madison Square Gardeners at Rhumba when Aaron basically fell into my arms during a guitar solo. That was kick ass.  Sarah had never seen me in Rock-Out mode until that night.

23. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2010?
Depends on your definition of a lot.  I'll say I drank more than some and less than others.


24. What was your favorite joke from 2010?
A Tennessee couple, David and Rebecca Kosmitis, both self-admitted rednecks have nine children. They went to their family doctor to see about getting David 'fixed.' The doctor asked why after nine children they decided to get this procedure done. David replied that they had heard on the Glenn Beck show that one out of every 10 children being born in the United States was Mexican and they didn't want to risk having a Mexican baby because neither of them spoke Spanish.

25. What was your favorite photo you took in 2010?
 Jim Stratton of Gingerspittz that I shot at at VexFest. 

26. What was your favorite party of 2010?Probably me, the night I crashed the Women's Only dance at live music trivia at O'Donalds. It also involved me throwing my Chicago Blackhawks jersey on backwards to dance to Kriss Kross's "Jump" and forgetting my friend Brian was there when I saw him a couple of days later.  Sadly, NOBODY got video of that event.  Luckily, I wasn't driving.

27. What was your favorite holiday of 2010?
St. Patrick's Day.  Kegs and Eggs at 5:30 with Natalie & Pat followed by all sorts of fun, a nap, and a return to hang out with Leslie.  And again, luckily, I wasn't driving.

28. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2010?
Nothing illegal. 

29. How many people did you kiss in 2010?
I don't kiss and tell, but Sarah was the best and most fun to kiss!

30. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Nope. If I'm gonna do - or say - something, I'm not going to second guess, regret, wallow or feel shamed after.

31. What was the worst lie someone told you in 2010?
I don't like movies.

32. Did you treat somebody badly in 2010?
Depends on your point of view. He probably thinks so.

33. Did somebody treat you badly in 2010?
Again, depends on your point of view. I think I was treated fairly this year by the lack of "Dear (person/place/business), Fuck You. No, seriously, fuck you." blogs.  But I was tempted. (See #32)

34. How much money did you spend in 2010?
(Checks W2 to see how much money he made in 2010. Checks bank account. Yep, about that much).

35. What was your proudest moment of 2010?
Getting over some serious personal bullshit that has been holding me back in relationships for a long time.

36. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2010?
Answering the door at home (and nobody but Sarah ever visits me) to find a pollster asking me to sign a petition, then saying "Well, with that shirt I doubt you'd be interested."  For the record, I was wearing a shirt that says "I shaved my balls for this?"

37. If you could go back in time to any moment of 2010 and change it what would it be?
I can't, so why bother ... but maybe signing her petition anyway.

38. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Happier. Much happier.

39. Compared to this time last year, are you thinner or fatter?
About the same, really

40. Compared to this time last year, are you richer or poorer?
About the same.

41. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Wow, I did so much in 2010 than I've ever done I really can't answer this.

42. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Been an ass.

43. What was your favorite TV program?
Flash Forward.

44. What was the best book you read?
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

45. What was your greatest musical discovery?
British Sea Power.

46. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Casual ... or well, since I work at home now, pantless.

47. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Same as the past 20 years - Julia Fordham.

48. What political issue stirred you the most?
How shitty the media is. Or our new governor overlord killing high speed rail in Ohio.

49. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
You can't change the past. So pack it away and move forward.

50. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"You shot through my anger and rage
To show me my prison was just an open cage
There were no keys no guards
Just one frightened man and some old shadows for bars"
    Bruce Springsteen - "Living Proof"

Song of the Day

"Before You" ~ Chantal Kreviazuk

Baby, before you
Well, I was bad news
In lettin' me love you
I think I can get through

Oh, baby before you
Well, I was so scared
I was a train wreck waitin' to happen
On the way to nowhere

And now I think it's kinda funny that you say you love me
You tell me that I'm crazy then you smile

And now I think I'll get through
The end of the world
And now I think I'll get through
Bein' a girl
Now I think I'll get through
Anything
And now I think I'll get through

Now honey around you
I'm feelin' so good
'Cause you picked me up out of the rough
And you polished me up and made me brand new

And baby before you, ho ho
There was just a black hole
Yeah I was beat down, blacked out
My darling you couldn't even know

But ever since I met you on a cloudy Monday
I can't believe how much I love the rain

And now I think I'll get through
The end of the world
And now I think I'll get through
Life as a girl
Now I think I'll get through
Anything
Now I think I'll get through

Ever since I met you on a cloudy Monday
I can't believe how much I love the rain

And now I think I'll get through
The end of the world
And now I think I'll get through
Life as a girl
Now I think I'll get through
Anything
Now I think I'll get through

Oh ... ho ...
Now I think I'll get through
Oh ....
Now I think I'll get through
Oh ... ho ...
And now I think I'll get through

And now I think I'll get through
Oh, and now I think I'll get through
Oh, and now I think I'll get through

My Favorite Albums of 2010

#1 without a doubt and no, it wasn't even close ... my favorite album of 2010:

Two Cow Garage - Sweet Saint Me

Once again, this band blows me away by constantly and consistently upgrading the quality of their music.  2010 was a HUGE year for this band from Columbus, Ohio ... from bassist Shane Sweeney discovering the joys of fatherhood to Micah Schnabel releasing a solo album (see "When The Stage Lights Go Out" below for more on that) to blowing up SXSW and leading an impromptu parade through Comfest and two tours that crossed the country, these boys were never home.  Now that the line-up is complete and they've been playing together for two complete albums now, Cody Smith (drums) and Andy Schell (keyboards) round out the amazing sound of the fifth full-length release from the best band you've probably never heard of.

Highlights:  Jackson, Don't You Worry; Sweet Saint Me; What Dying Is For; Brothers In Arms

The rest of the Top 10 ... in no particular order:

The Madison Square Gardeners - Taste The Thunder & Tune It Up, Dime It Out

Released as two separate EP's in 2010, the six-track "Taste The Thunder" and the five-song "Tune It Up, Dime It Out" make a terrific 43-minute trek through the greatness of this band. Aaron Tasjan's lryics continue to grow and I'd listen to Rich Hinnan play me anything on that slide lap steel guitar he has.  They're spending December recording new tunes and playing a residency at Rockwood 2 in New York City; and I can't wait to hear what goodness comes out of these sessions.

Highlights:  Blessing; Shoe Gaze Band; Everybody's Girl; Cross The Line; Love's The Only Way

David Ford - Let The Hard Times Roll

My favorite troubador is back again with thirteen more tunes that have been in heavy rotation in my iTunes/iPod since earlier this summer.  He's had some problems with his record companies seemingly closing up shop overnight, but continues to putting on shows, working his way across America and his native UK.  The lyrics keep getting better, starting with the CD's first song, "Making Up For Last Time" and "Nothing At All" ... introspective, outlandish and socially commentary all at the same time.  It's nice to see him continue to evolve and keep his fires burning.

Highlights:  To Hell With The World; Making Up For Lost Time; Nothing At All; Hurricane

Semi-Precious Weapons - You Love You
I was hesitant to put this on here because it contains four previously releasedsongs from their two independent releases, but they're still opening for Lady Gaga, they're still delivering the glam and the glitz and showbiz to people who either love them or hate them.  The new material is good, I really love "Leave Your Pretty To Me" ... in the words of frontman Justin Tranter, "The Midwest loves a fucking power ballad."  Same with "Look At Me" ... but "Sticky With CHampagne" and "Statues of Ourselves" are just kick-ass fun tunes about living a rock-n-roll lifestyle on the glamours side of the tracks.  Subtlety is not his strenth, so listener beware!

Highlights: Look At Me; Statues of Ourselves, Put A Diamond In It; Her Hair Is On Fire (2010)

Mary Chapin Carpenter - The Age of Miracles
I've been an MCC fan going on 20 years now (thanks, neighbor who turned me on to her) and am glad she continues to make great American music that's no longer classified as 'country' ... it's more folk, alt-countrish ... what we now call Americana.  This 13-song collection features a lot of stripped down acoustic tracks that let her voice, and her lyrics, shine.

Highlights: I Have A Need For Solitude; We Traveled So Far; The Way I Feel; Zephyr.

Gaslight Anthem - American Slang
It's not as great as their first release, "The '59 Sound" ... but it still has been rocking my world. They're so throwback to when all you needed was three verses, a bridge, a catchy chorus and and a great hook and riff. This album brings all that.  From the title track to "The Queen of Lower CHelsea" to "Old Haunts" .... there are tracks here that will stay with me my whole life.  "I called for my father but my my father had died. And you told me fortunes in American slang."  ... fucking genius.

Highlights:  American Slang; We Did it When We Were Young; Queen of Lower Chelsea; Boxer

Chumbawamba - ABCDEFG
Say what you will about how tired you got of "Tubthumping" ... you still sing it.  That was really NOTHING like the band is about (as the disappointing album sales to folks who love/loved that song show). I've played songs of this CD for people and they all say the same thing ... "I like this, who is it?" followed by "Really? I never would have guessed that."  They're really rather mellow and fun to listen to. This album includes such fun songs as "Torturing James Hetfield" by forcing him to listen to their greatest hits album (to which Hetfield sings along); "Dance, Idiot Dance" and "The Same So-So Tune" ... none of which have any resemblance to "Tubthumping" ...

Highlights:   Torturing James Hetfield; Dance, Idiot, Dance; Singing Out The Days; Missed

Cee Lo Green - The Lady Killer

I had no real desire to listen to this CD ... a friend asked me if it was on my pirate sites ... so I broke all sorts of international copyright laws and downloaded it for her.  After I delivered said pirate CD she asked if I had listened to it .. I said "No, I'm not a fan of Gnarls Barkley."  She gave me the STFU look and said, "You really need to listen to this."    So I did. And then I decided that Cee Lo Green was the love child from an orgy of The Temptations, Gladys Night, Aretha Frankin, all the original members of Chicago, Earth Wind and Fire, and several members of the Pips.  It's all sorts of 70's soul and the Motown sound mashed up with all that's good about today's rap/R&B that doesn't involve autotune.  Yeah, I was floored.

Highlights:  Fuck You; Satisfied; I want You; Fool For You; Wildflower

Victoria Vox - Exact Change
Step by step, left right left, this CD just hooked me with the multitude of hooks in songs, choruses, brigdes and verses in a way that no other album did in 2010.  Victoria's approach to songs, songwriting, singing and performance blew me away when I saw her in Columbus. She's a blast to watch live for both the ukalele and mouth trumput.  And she sings songs in French.  Without surrendering to invading German armies. 

Highlights:  Oh I Wonder; Techinocolor Way; Make  A Mess; Shake It Up; Shake It Up

Patrick Park - Come What Will
I don't know how or where this CD came into my collection ... all I know is it really blasted me out of some unhappy mindframes to some hapy mindframes.  That's what I love about music .. that ability to transform my mood from shitty to perfect with just a guitar and some words.  "You Were Always The One" is my song of the year for 2010 ... because ... well ... yeah ... it so fits my life and makes me smile. Because I found my one. And lost her. And found her again. So yeah ... when he sings this, I get it:

"Now mistakes it's true I've made more than a few
and I'm goin to make many others
And it's hard to see why we go through this sometimes
All the things that we do to each other
And I don't understand while I play these games and I trade the truth for lies
Cuz you're always the one I was looking for babe, it just took time to realize"

Highlights:  You Were Always The One; You'll Get Over; Silence and Storm; Starry Night

Bonus CD:  Emma Pollock - The Law of Large Numbers.

She's Scottish. She writes killer lyrics. She sings like she's chasing Satan back to hell to take over. She doesn't give a shit what you think.  I wanna have her babies. That's why she gets the Bonus CD

Highlights: I Could Be A Saint;  Letters To Strangers; House On The Hill; Hug The Piano

The Next Ten:

Doug Keith - The Lucky Ones
Dar Williams - Many Great Companions
Bookmobile - The New Patriot
British India - Avalanche
Ed Kowalczyk - Alive
Steven Page - Page One
Spoon - Transferrence
The Hold Steady - Heaven Is Whenever
Kings of Leon - Come Around Sundown
Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

Your mileage may vary. Tell me who I missed. Who I got wrong. And if your comment contains Eminem, Kanye West, Kid Rock or any other shit fuck suck-ass alleged musician I reserve the right to call in coordinated strategic nuclear strikes to kill you.

Song of the Day

Now that's how you make the mall interesting!  Well done, people.Merry Christmas, everyone.

I couldn't have said it better myself

Dear Patrick Park ... get out of my head.  Sincerely, ME

PS ... thanks for writing a song that made me realize what I had, and what I nearly lost. I love you, man!

You Were Always The One

~ Patrick Park

I've been stuck in my ways
I've been rollin through days
Always afraid that things might get better
I've been traveling down this road 

Liven free I suppose
All the while feelin tired and tethered

And I don't understand while I play these games 

And I trade the truth for lies
Cuz you're always the one I was looking for babe, 

It just took time to realize

I've squandered away on the brightest of days
Always had trouble keeping on the level
And I made a big show of letting ya go
God knows I was some kind of devil

And I don't understand while I play these games

And I trade the truth for lies
Cuz you're always the one I was looking for babe, 

It just took time to realize

It's the hardest thing by far, 

To see who we are
And then let the whole thing go
And float like the leaves 

And hang on the wind
Whichever way it blows

Now mistakes it's true I've made more than a few
And I'm goin to make many others
And it's hard to see why we go through this sometimes
All the things that we do to each other

And I don't understand while I play these games 

And I trade the truth for lies
Cuz you're always the one I was looking for babe, 

It just took time to realize

Song of the Day

The first couple of time I heard this song I never really listened to it.  Then, when I did, I was blown away. The writing of this band is amazing ... Greg Joseph, Scott Blasey, Rob James .. amazing.  It's even better when you see them live and realize they just have fun playing music together .. and have ... for more than 20 years.  It's a shame they never crashed corporate radio.

Train

~The Clarks

They grew up in the shadow of the armory
Land of freedom right out their back door
Brothers near the middle of the century
One of them had to go and fight the war
Somebody had to go and fight the war
And the train goes... woooooo

So he left upon the rails toward Ohiopyle
Youghiogheny flows around the bend
He told his mother someday he'd be coming home
The medals shine and the stars never end
But nobody counts on scars that never mend
And the train goes... woooooo

Cast iron wheels go hungry in the fields
Searching for that silver line a long, long way to go
Cast iron hearts go hungry for spare parts
Searching for a hand to hold on late night radio

He flew missions out of London into Germany
In letters she read once then locked away
With a picture of him smiling at the armory
The colors in that flag all washed away
It's just black and white and a hundred shades of gray
And the train goes...woooooo

That's the way it goes

Yo, Adrian!

Well, once again I'm off to Philadelphia, City of Brothers on Drugs (to quote Spit, Choke & Puke Sports) for a week of all sorts of fun disaster recovery exercises.

And yes, that's sarcasm.

It's been a long time since I've NOT wanted to get in the car and go go go ... I guess that's what happens when you finally realize who and what matters in your life.  All you want to do spend time in that world.

Needless to say, It's been a rather interesting six weeks in my world.   Mentally and emotionally,I've been as low as I've ever been, and higher than I've ever imagined.   I've confronted demons and dealt with angels. I've spent a lot of time digging through my past and I've cleaned out a lot of the clutter in my head and my heart that was holding me back from the happiness we all pursue.  I've laughed. A lot. I've cried. A lot. And I've grown. A lot. And it's been very nice to know my friends are supportive, and for that, I'm appreciative.  And I'm back on the happy side of life, and happier than any other time in my life, except that first time I held my daughter. 

And, most importantly, I was able to share the things that have shaped me, wrongly or rightly, with an amazing woman who understands, who cares, who listens and who loves me like I've always wanted to be loved.  I hope I can give her that same love in return. I plan on doing my best in that department.

I'm happy.  And I like this happy.  It's new to me. And I want to explore, expand and revel in it ... but sadly, at least for this week, t's time to hit the road. Bring on the cheesesteak!

(Dear Mary: Sorry there's no venom here.  Oh, wait, I hate the Detroit Red Wings.  With a passion.  Satisfied now? :P )

Song of the Day

You're My Home

~ Billy Joel

When you look into my eyes

and you see the crazy gypsy in my soul

it always comes as a surprise

when I feel my withered roots begin to grow.

Well I never had a place

that I could call my very own

but that's all right my love

cuz you're my home.

When you touch my weary head

and you tell me everything will be all right.

You say use my body for your bed

and my love will keep you warm throughout the night.

Well I'll never be a stranger

and I'll never be alone

wherever we're together

that's my home.

Home could be the Pennsylvania turnpike

Indiana's early morning dew

high up in the hills of California

home is just another word for you.

Well I never had a place that I could call my very own

but that's all right my love

cuz you're my home.

If I travel all my life

and I never get stop and settle down

long as I have you by my side

there's a roof above and good walls all around.

You're my castle, you're my cabin

and my instant pleasure dome.

I need you in my house

cuz you're my home,..

you're my home.

Song Of The Day

Since I've been kind of on a sad-bastard run lately ... it's time to shake things up.  Just saw this band on Wednesday and it really shook me out of the mood I've been in lately ... so enjoy some happiness, my friends!

"The Best Is Yet To Come"

~ Watershed

I know sometimes it seems we're slowing down to a stop
We don't know where we're going or appreciate what we've got
I've got a cheap guitar and a yard sale amp
All beat up, nothing broke just yet
And we both know, we're overdue, for some luck
And I got a feeling the best is yet to come

Suppose I figured out the whole damn thing a couple hours ago
It don't really matter where you've been
It's more about where you are going
The bad news is, you really messed up
But the good news is, we can fix things up
And I ain't buying that the good old days are done

And I got a feeling the best is yet to come

Take it on the chin wonderin' what might have been
We could blow it off
Maybe drink it off
And spend some time together... right

Don't forget they didn't knock you out
You're just sitting in a corner bleeding from your mouth

Still got a feeling, the best is yet to come

Alone On Thanksgiving, By Design

[ PREFACE:  This is not a passive/aggressive blog post aimed at getting me invited to holiday dinners at random people's houses / family events / commercial buffets, so please don't take it that way. It's merely a single guy reflecting on why sometimes he enjoys being single and alone for the holidays ... and why sometimes he doesn't. Get it? Got it? Good.]

My parents divorced when I was four.  I have one older sister who was six, and a baby sister who was months old about the time the split happened, as far as I remember.

My Mom's parents were together for 55 years until her mom died in 1993.

My Dad's parents divorced before I was born. So I always had three sets of grandparents.  And two sets of parents.

And a fiance and/or girlfriend from the time I was 15.

So that made four, five or six destinations for holidays like Thanksgiving.  Depending on if my mom was with someone or not.

And I got so fucking tired of having to be at Point A and Time 1 and Point B and Time 2 and Point C and Time 3 and so on and so on ... when I became an adult, I picked on place to go every year and said screw the rest.

As a 42-year-old, with an ex-wife, two sets of parents, four family units and various friends to visit on holidays such as this ... I choose to stay home, or go hit some restaurant offering a buffet. I put on the iPod, grab some reading material, and do my best to avoid every other single person on the planet while I project, in my head, the perfect Thanksgiving Dinner.

When I was three.

When my parents still were together.

When we were at my mom's parent's house.

Eating a traditional turkey/stuffing/potatoes/veggies dinner with pumpkin pie.

With Lions football on the TV.

With no need to leave and go anywhere.

No expectations to be anywhere else.

Eat any else's food.

Just one table. One meal. One family.

That's why I like to eat alone. I can still pretend to be there.

The only thing better than that was Thanksgiving with the mother of my daughter when we were dating/married. She always cooked up one hell of a feast. People came to us. Eventually, my mom and sister started coming to eat with us. After we divorced, I still went there because it was comforting to go one place for one meal with people I didn't fear or mistrust or worry about the ridicule that would eventually come.

For many years after we divorced, I still went out there. Even after she remarried and moved. Her new hubby and I get along great. He understood my issues. He was cool with me being there. He and I get along great.

Now they live 8 hours away. And between our work schedules, they're going out for dinner, and I can't make the trip. And I have no desire to have fish and lasagna in a non-traditional setting like my family is having.

So I'm back to drawing blanks.

Sure, I've had offers, including some from great friends here who will read this and wonder why I said no ... but trust me ... my saying no isn't an insult to you ... it's more me knowing I'd rather be alone, or in a big room of people I don't know and remain anonymous, than be the stranger to most at your dinner tables forced to answer questions as to why I'm alone at 42, and why I really don't want to spend the holiday with my nuclear family, in the three, four or five locations they gather.

And that's my call ... please don't feel slighted, and please don't judge me. I do what's good for me. I have to.

Sometimes, I just like being anonymous and silent and under the radar.  It hurts less.

Song Of The Day

Sent out to nobody in particular. If you think this song is about you ... enjoy that total eclipse of the sun.

"This Town"

~ Elvis Costello

That Charlie Sedarka was a playing the piano
Like he was pawing a dirty book
He bit a hole in his big bottom lip
And gave his very best little boy look
And it was a song with a topical verse which I'm
Afraid he then proceeded to sing
Something about the moody doomed love of
The fish finger king

Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd
Nobody 'til everybody in this town
Knows you're poison
Got your number knows it must be avoided
I think nobody 'til everybody in this town
Thinks you're a bastard

Mr. Getgood moved up to self-made man row
Although he swears that he's the salt of the earth
He's so proud of the kick-me-hard sign that
They hung on his back at birth
Well he said "I appreciate beauty
If I have one, then it's my fault
Beauty is on my pillow
Beauty is there in my vault"

Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd
Nobody 'til everybody in this town
Knows you're poison
Got your number knows it must be avoided
I think nobody 'til everybody in this town
Thinks you're a bastard

The girl with the eternity rock
Went down on her bookie to buy some stock
Now all her signs in the shopping arcades say
'The corporation thief is The New Jesse James'
Her clothes and her attention were scant
Her eyes were everywhere, her eyes were like absinthe
The little green figures that dance on his screen
Say, "Everything you want to hear and nothing they mean"

They made love while she was changing her dress
She wiped him off, she wiped him out and then she made him confess
A little amused by the belief in her power
You must remember this it was the fetish of the hour

Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd
Nobody 'til everybody in this town
Knows you're poison
Got your number knows it must be avoided
I think nobody 'til everybody in this town
Thinks you're a bastard

Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd
Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd
Nobody in this town
Nobody in this crowd

Song Of The Day

Julie Roberts - Unlove Me

Unloose this hold you've got on me
Unlock this heart that can't get free
Unlive the night you kissed and hugged me
Undream the dreams that we both shared
Unfeel the feelin' that you cared
Before you leave me, please unlove me

Unlove me
Unmake all the memories I can't forget
Unlove me
Let me go back to the way I was before we met

Back to the days when I was strong
When it wasn't sad to be alone
When I was happy-go-lucky
And I didn't know how good it felt
To hold you and feel my heart melt
Show me a little mercy and unlove me

Unlove me
Untie all the strings between your heart and mine
Unlove me
But do it real slow, so I don't have to lose you all at one time

Before you pack your bags and leave
One thing I wish you'd do for me
Take a little time to just unlove me

Unlove me
Unmake all the memories I can't forget
Unlove me
Let me go back to the way I was before we met

Unloose this hold you've got on me
Unlock this heart that can't get free
Before you leave me, please unlove me
Show a little mercy and unlove me

---

I do love me some country music ... not quite sure where I stumbled upon her but I'm shocked she's not done better ... must be the name, eh?

Song of the Day

Bowling For Soup

A-Hole

When I came home my stuff was on the lawn
I thought she was happy, but I was wrong
The note she left it took me by surprise
Said I’ve turned into, some other guy
The things she said that she gave up for me
She says it was a waste of her time

Guess I don’t really know, what I was thinking
Would’ve thought we would float, but we kept sinking in
And things were so good
But you were in love, with some other guy
He looked just like me, but I make you cry,
You know I don’t mean to, I’m just an asshole sometimes

I never saw myself as being alone
And maybe that was my problem, cause now she’s gone
And I can’t help but think of how things could be (how things could be)
And I hope she’s happy, happy with out me
And all the things that she gave up for me,
I took for granted time after time

Guess I don’t really know, what I was thinking
Would’ve thought we would float, but we kept sinking in
And things were so good
But you were in love, with some other guy
He looked just like me, but I make you cry,
You know I don’t mean to, I’m just an asshole sometimes

And please don’t think I’m complaining
I was just happy to have her for a time
And if you see her tell her I said
”hello and that I’m doing just fine”

Guess I don’t really know, what I was thinking
Would’ve thought we would float, but we kept sinking in
And things were so good
But you were in love, with some other guy
He looked just like me, but I make you cry,
You know I don’t mean to, no
You know I don’t mean to
I’m just an asshole sometimes

Guess I don’t really know
I’m just an asshole sometimes
Guess I don’t really know
I’m just an asshole sometimes
Guess I don’t really know
Guess I’m an asshole sometimes

I'm really hating the email lately ...

In addition to having to weed through 569 emails following my 11-day vacation from work, I was roaming around my personal inbox and found something that just made me smile ear to fucking ear.

For reals. Ear-To-Fucking-Ear.

Delivered to me via the wonders of Yahoo email, was a missive I've been dreaming of receiving.  And no, it wasn't Anna Kournikova naked.  (That's an old virus, people!) What I received, for all intents and purposes ... was news I'd been waiting to hear for a long, long, time.

FINALLY ... I had an opportunity to break free from Armstrong's One Wire and Infinite Problems.  I work at home I need both internet and phone bundled, and DSL isn't an option where I live, neither is Time Warner (who I loved in Niles)  And there are three reasons I can't get a dish ... first because I live on the wrong side of the building; second because I need better internet speeds than they offer; and finally, because I have to have a bundled phone solution for work. 

So to hear that another option ... and one I wanted ... was finally available in my area ... I was stoked beyond belief.

I'll use the good points from their email in quotes ... read along with my excitement!

"Retire cable. The future is here."    YES ... I can get rid of Armstrong's shitty cable/internet/phone service! So I kept reading what was available based on this finely crafted marketing email ... and hell yeah I was picking up the pimp hand to dial the phone and sign up for this shit!

Check out this impressive list of features:

• "HD TV and DVR
• "Record up to four shows at once, play them back in any room
• "Pause in one room, resume in another
• "Playback recorded shows on all TVs at once, at different times
• "TV packages starting at $19 a month. 
• "Access to 130 HD channels and growing
• "Schedule DVR sessions and watch TV on your smartphone
• "Professional standard installation included with most packages
• "No term commitment
• "A 30-day money-back guarantee - bring it all home with no risk and all reward" 

How fucking cool is all of that?  Beats the fuck out of Armstrong feature wise, price wise, and since it's all new fiber that's been run to support this ... odds are good I'd not have had to call Armstrong every other week when my shit breaks and I can't porno surf.  (I mean, can't work. Yeah. Can't . Work.)

Then, in what has to be the biggest taint-kick in my recent karma history, I got down to the last line:

"Please call us today at 1-800-FUCK-YOU to enable AT&T UVerse service at your OLD ADDRESS IN COLUMBUS.  HA Fuck you, fanboy.  You suck."

(Okay, maybe I made up some of that statement, but seriously, AT&T finally is offering UVerse in my old neighborhood in Columbus ... and since I asked for it on their website ... oh, two years ago when it wasn't available, they decided to tease me now that it is ... and because I don't live there anymore.)

/fuckers

Dammit, I lost my stress

So ... after more than 15 months of an insane workload that included moving from Columbus back to Youngstown and three large enterprise level projects that pretty much killed my life ... I'm FINALLY going to take some time off work here in September ... basically starting Friday and running through September 14th, when I return to the office.

Except "the office" is now my dining room, as officially, beginning tomorrow, I'm one of the thousands of 'virtual employees' that work from a home-based office.  So, here's my evolving home office:

This isn't the final view ... I've not finalized it yet ... there will be three 22" wide screen monitors rather than the one 22" and one 19" you see ... and a filing cabinet on the left with a printer on top, but this is pretty much what I'll be working with from a furniture point.

This is what it replaced.  So yeah ... huge increase in desk space, work space, looks and ergonomics.

In addition to that ... two of the biggest projects I've ever worked on both ended today.  One of them piggybacked off the huge anti-virus project I was that started in July 2009 ... so I've been kicking ass at work basically since July 2009 without stopping.

Then, as of today, it just stopped.  The projects ended, the speculation as to us being home-officed or forcing to move to another location ... ended.  We're virtual ... and as for the hard-core projects ... I'm back in the general work-flow, not dedicated to huge projects that kill my life.

For the first time in 15 months not only can I breathe, but I feel like I can get stuff done.  Today I did six loads of laundry before noon.  I slept great last night for the first time in probably six weeks (which included two on-call shifts).  I'm just finally in a good point personally and professionally.  It's weird for me, having not had either, basically for three years now.

I think working from home is going to be a HUGE part of that.  There's no stress in driving to work ... I'm not spending $5 on breakfast and $10 on lunch every day;   I have a kick-ass desk, and home office setup. My company is paying for my Internet and phone, and since I'm not working in Youngstown anymore, I'm not paying that insane income tax ... so I'll have more money in my pocket and less stress about getting to work.  A seven-step walk beats the hell out of a seven-mile drive ... especially with winter coming this way soon.

Another big part is the confidence I've gained in these three projects ... I went from standard day-to-day support to three enterprise level projects that impacted 3,000+ servers and forced me to step up my game to deal with something on this scale.

And then there's my personal life, which is also rolling along nicely and enjoyable.  Things with Sarah have had a couple of ups and downs, but we've worked through them and are moving forward. And I'm glad I'll have more time to enjoy it.  I signed a new lease so I'm going to be in Austintown for another year, which is good with me ... I like Austintown ... and to be honest, I really wasn't in the mood to move again.  I like my little box at the top of the stairs. But I have no Indian rug or a pipe to share, sorry.

But yeah ... finally ... I really feel I can relax. I can breathe. I can enjoy my non-working hours doing things I want to do ... and not spending all day and night sitting in front of my computer building servers or cleaning viruses and all that stuff.

Yay me!