CD Review - Shane Sweeney - The Finding Time"

 "It's all been said before but it must have fallen on deaf ears the first time."

Shane Sweeney ~ "Legion"

When I first heard Shane Sweeney, better known as the other vocalist in Two Cow Garage (gravely voiced Micah Schnabel sings the majority of TCG songs) was releasing a solo album, I wasn't sure what to expect. A friend of mine recently asked me if I skipped the Shane songs when I listening to Two Cow Garage, like I used to skip over the Grant Hart Husker Du tunes in favor of Bob Mould's stuff.  I actually like Shane's songs, and his voice, and his aggression, but there are times where I wish he'd sing a song, rather than fight it.  

While I never said this to him, I think someone did ... because he's done just that on "The Finding Time," his latest solo album. The album is, as far as I can hear, completely acoustic and a complete joy to listen to. It's been out since July, but I've been trying to find time to listen to it, let alone write about it.  That started last week.  Shane's playing a CD Release Show at Rumba on Friday, November 4th, with Jeffery Fernengel, Todd May, And Nate Linek. You can get the MP3's on Amazon or iTunes, or you can go get your face rocked off and buy an actual CD from Shane's merch table.

"The Finding Time" starts out with what today sounds like a song for the "Occupy (insert locality here)" movement. It's call "Legion" and it sets the tone musically, and lyrically:

 "There's more of us than them,
All it takes is everyone to raise a hand
Say I won't lay  down for money.
I will hold my head up and die like like a man
Won't you stand with me?
Brother won't you stand with me?
Won't you stand with me?
And if one should fall,
If one should should fall
If I should fall
Another will take up the call"
~ "Legion"

Knowing Shane and his fondness for making porch music ... kicking back pickin' and singing with friends and beer, it sounds like a lot of these album could be called "The Front Porch Sessions," and that's a compliment.  They're simple, straight forward tunes about life, family, and being strong in a world that just doesn't give a shit about you.  "When I Am Empty" and "Hallelujah" and "The Owl" and "Try Again Later" are among my favorite songs on this CD, and "Motel Blues" is a great life-on-the-road track that a lot of traveling musicians could have written, but didn't.  The CD ends with a couple of tracks featuring some great harmony on the vocals, the first being "See You In Heaven," a tribute to a friend who's in another place now. with some subtle guitar picking behind it. I love the way the song builds. The latter is a reprise of "Legion" ... short, and sweet, like it should be.

Will this be a chart buster? No. Sadly, it's not corporate rock. It's the complete opposite. But Micah and Shane have this "Art or Die" mantra. And this is art. This is Americana at it's finest. Good music made by a man who shows he's more than the screams and slamming bass lines you find in the Two Cow Garage songs some us know and love.

Song of the Day - Better Things

Better Things - The Kinks

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.

Here's hoping all the days ahead
Won't be as bitter as the ones behind you.
Be an optimist instead,
And somehow happiness will find you.
Forget what happened yesterday,
I know that better things are on the way.

It's really good to see you rocking out
And having fun,
Living like you just begun.
Accept your life and what it brings.
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the drudge and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.

I know you've got a lot of good things happening up ahead.
The past is gone it's all been said.
So here's to what the future brings,
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.

All My Racist Friends Are Coming Over Tonight (parody)

So, I haven't said much at all about this whole Hank Williams Jr Obama/Hitler thing ... until now, when I give to you my latest song parody:

"All My Racist Friends Are Coming Over Tonight"

I got ketchup on my klan robe, hot cross just burnt my hand

Lord, it's hard to still be a racist man

I keep black girls that can cook, I keep black girls that can clean

I keep asian girls that can do anything in between

I got to hide them away, make everything white

Cause all my racist friends are comin over tonight

Do you want a drink, hey, do you want to join the master party

Hey, white people, this is ole Grand Dragon Hank, ready to get the lynching started

We'll hang some up in the trees, put some more on ice

And all my racist friends are comin over tonight

Now, my Klan Meeting pad is out in the woods

It's a long way from here to liberal Hollywood

But I got some white debutante queens out on the floor

And ole Miss KKK Mississippi just walked through the door

Got a stars and bars wirlpool just made for ten

And you can hate out and you can hate in

You can do anything that you wanna do

But, uh-uhh, don't you bring your boo

Do you want a drink, hey, do you want to join the master party

Hey, white people, this is ole Grand Dragon Hank, ready to get the lynching started

We'll hang some up in the trees, put some more on ice

And all my racist friends are comin over tonight

Do you want to drink, hey, do you want to party

Hey, hey, this is racits Grand Dragon Hank

Ready to get the lynchin' time started

We'll hang some up in the trees, put some more on ice

And all my racist friends are comin over tonight

BW3's In Austintown is off the BANNED list

Since there's been a change in management at the BW3's in Austintown, I have removed my blog about them NOT being a sports bar and am willing to let the actions of the previous general manager be forgotten.

This is not me editing myself, or bowing to corporate pressure.  Two of the three managers from that site were reassigned. My beef was with one of them (the General Manager, not the assistant ... he remains a good guy in my mind), and since he's no longer in the building, or in charge of the building, my beef with them has ended.

So long, Evil Genius Idea #895

After months of doing nothing but hosting files ... I decided that it's time to pull the plug on Evil Genius Idea #895, http://www.ericbroz.net ...

Why?

I never use it.

In fact, I've migrated *almost* entirely to free sites such as here, wordpress for my music blog, facebook, Google+ and, sadly, even MySpace (still). I'm gonna keep the domain, but point it to a redirect that sends you to my FB page ... but the email is going away, so anyone who emails me at eric @ ericbroz dot net should change up and hit me at cebroz at gmail dot com.

It was a good four years (well, three, really), but all things change.

Jane Scott - 1919-2011. Amazing lady.

I was lucky enough to meet Jane Scott at a Motley Crue concert at the Richfield Coliseum in 1990. I don't remember if it was January or February, but it was winter. It was cold. VERY COLD. I was reviewing the show for the Tribune, and was a fan of Motley Crue live, as they put on a tremendous live show. Tommy Lee was playing his kit on rails that went upside down and out over the crowd. I took my sister Juli to the show ... we were freezing waiting to get in the press gate, only to be told no photo pass, but we did have tickets. She was happy to see a free show ... I was getting paid to write about music. Win Win.

And when we got inside, my sister asked who brought their Grandma to the show. I turned, and there beside me, with her Ticket pinned to her scarf; big red glasses, a bigger purse and the biggest smile I'd ever seen was Jane Scott. I immediately fanboy'ed and professed, as many had before me, that she was required reading every Friday and after every show ... whether I was there or not. I introduce her to my sister, who wasn't quite sure what to make, but slowly realized the cool factor when Jane started rocking out with us. Jane was 71 at the time.

Here's a link to a great telling of her story, and her retirement column. She was one of a kind in an era where an emerging music scene in a vibrant music city met the perfect woman at the perfect time.

I was blessed to know her. I think a lot of us were.  Dennis Lewin of the Cleveland band Beau Coup, wrote this when the PD tried to force her to retire ... she finally left on her own in 2002, after 50 years and, in her estimate, more than 10,000 concerts, from the Beatles to Nine Inch Nails and everything in between.  The last time I saw Jane was at an MC Hammer show at Blossom.  She had as much fun there as anyone ...

"Jane"

(Dedicated to P.D. Columnist "Jane Scott")

(Dennis Lewin)

Dear Jane

It's an early cold Friday morning

And my radio is blasting down the hall

Waking me up to the sounds

Of the late great Marvin Gaye

I fell out of bed

Got dressed and read the morning paper

I saw a picture of myself on the back page news

Next to an add for the final shows of Michael's band

Jane, Jane you watched me change from a boy to a man

Jane you stood behind me and the boys in the band

Don't you ever give up on us Jane

You know Jane I was 5 back in 64

When you started at Friday magazine

There wasn't a flash in the pan that you missed

Or a style un-seen 

But than the papers read

Jane they say you're too old for the new style

But you never mix art and age as one

'Cause the older you get the better you shine in the public's eye

Jane, Jane you watched me change from a boy to a man

Jane you stood behind me and the boys in the band

Don't you ever give up on us Jane

Jane they always try to cut you down to pieces

To criticize your work is a slap in the face of justice

You broke so many bands that came from foreign lands

and now they try to take away the pen that wrote their names

---

Easiest Job in the World

Despite being a journalist for a period of time in my life, I rarely read the printed paper anymore.  (Sorry to my friends still in the business, and apologies to Al Newhearth and the staff at McPaper.)  Today, however, Sarah picked up a Vindicator as we're looking for a place to live, and I noticed a help wanted ad.  And it made me want to seriously think about a career change.

After reading this little help wanted ad, I've decided it has to be the easiest job in the world:

Wanted:  Science teacher at a Christian school.

Think about it.  Easiest. Job. EVER!

You can teach your budding Christian scientists everything ... and I mean EVERYTHING ... with a a couple of three-word phrases:

God made it.  God made them. God makes it. God makes them. God provides it.

• How'd the galaxy get here?  God made it.
• Where did the rocks come from? God made them.
• How does water form?  God makes it.
• Where do babies come from? God makes them.
• How do we get friuts from the ground?  God provides it.

Or, if you wanna get funny, you can just pull out the Bill Hicks:

If God created all life, why are there dinosaur bones?  God put them here to test your faith.  God's just fucking with you.  Jokester God strikes again. Giant Lizards? Walking the Earth?  HA.

Or, you can circle back the easiest job in the world:

God made them.

The final test would be an essay test:  Explain the formation of the galaxy and all life on Earth:

Any answer but "God made it." results in failure.  And you get to enjoy your summers off.

Comfest 2011 ... so far

After a quick romp through the schedule ... here's what I'm picking:

Friday

Gazebo    12:55    Erika Hughes
Off Ramp   2:10    Wing & Tusk
Off Ramp   4:15    Whoa Nellie!
Main       4:55    Bastard Sons of Neptune
Off Ramp   6:30    Karate Coyote
Off Ramp   8:00    Envelope
Gazebo     9:00    Colin Gawel & Lonely Bones
Off Ramp  10:15    Phantods



Saturday

Off Ramp  11:55    Shazbots
Off Ramp  12:50    Eric Nassau & Friends
Main       2:35    Floorwalkers
Solar      4:00    Victoria Parks
Off Ramp   4:50    Harvest Kings
Gazebo     6:00    Mendelsonics
Off Ramp   6:25    Lost Revival
Main       7:55    Sean Carney
Gazebo     8:00    Donna Magavero
Main       8:55    Willie Phoenix
Off Ramp   9:05    Lydia Loveless



Sunday

Gazebo    11:00    The Ginger Lees
Gazebo    12:00    The Spike Drivers
Gazebo     1:00    Tim Easton / MSGers
Off Ramp   4:00    The Dirty Flaggs
Off Ramp   4:45    Bicentenial Bear
Main       4:50    Mary Adam 12
Jazz       4:50    Jen Miller
Off Ramp   5:35    Yellow Light Maybe
Gazebo     7:00    Megan Palmer
OffRamp    7:15    Wet Darlings



I'll save my bitching and complaining about the bad music selections this year until after the event.

Random Links ... or RBOL as Pretty In Orange calls them

So ... since I have too many of these to flood Facebook or Twitter with ... here's a Random Blog of Links:  (title stolen from Angela!)

A bunch of bikers blocked those dumb God Hates Fags asshats in Missouri.  Fuck, even the Ku Klux Klan is protesting those guys.  I get the whole "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" thing ... but when you're lower on the hate ladder than the KKK, you're a serious bunch of douchebags. 

---

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Nope, says the good white senator saying President Obama only got elected "because he's black" ... adding  "There's nothing racist about this ..."  /facepalm ... pssst ... it is racist, because he's only half black, dumbass!

---

And combining the two posts ... can we go from a half-black president to a pretend biker one?  "“There’s no better way to see D.C. than on the back of a Harley!"

---

Meanwhile, while President Obama was giving an address to the blown-away bastards in Joplin, Missouri, the distinguished staff at Faux News was very much concerned if the president was chewing gum.  That really bothers me as a former journalist. I real journalist would have at least asked what kind.  Fucking amateurs.

---

I bet my friend David Knudtz would watch hockey if you could turn your stick into a lightsaber.  Take that, Jumbo!

---

Somebody better call Undercover Brother.  Nobody messes with the 'fro!

---

I think I'd still read comic books if they'd swap genders more often.

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And finally ... anyone need some Dragon's Blood or Unicorn Liver?  You need to shop here.

Red Wanting Blue - 5/212011 Photos posted

Red Wanting Blue - 05/21/2011 - House of Blues.

because it's so easy :D

Who's ready for a five-month PARTY?

Red Wanting Blue - The World Is Over

So, according to the experts at FamilyRadio.com ... we're all gonna start to either be in heaven or walking hell on earth on Saturday about 6 p.m. in your time zone ... so I figured I'd share one of my favorite Red Wanting Blue song off "These Magnificent Miles" and give you some words of wisdum from the good people of Family Radio ...

"Only recently, through careful study of information found in the Bible, we now know the precise timeline of the world’s history, from the creation year of 11,013 BC to Christ's return on May 21, 2011 to the final destruction of the world on October 21, 2011. By God's grace and tremendous mercy, He is giving us advanced warning as to what He is about to do. On Judgment Day, May 21st, 2011, this 5-month period of horrible torment will begin for all the inhabitants of the earth. It will be on May 21st that God will raise up all the dead that have ever died from their graves. Earthquakes will ravage the whole world as the earth will no longer conceal its dead (Isaiah 26:21). People who died as saved individuals will experience the resurrection of their bodies and immediately leave this world to forever be with the Lord. Those who died unsaved will be raised up as well, but only to have their lifeless bodies scattered about the face of all the earth. Death will be everywhere. " - familyradio.com

So, with that in mind, let's all party like we're gonna die, eh?  As for me, I'll be enjoying the weekend with Sarah  ... hanging out Friday night, Red Wanting Blue at the House of Blues on Saturday night; Pittsburgh Pirates game on Sunday afternoon ... that is, if she's still here with me after the rapture!

Now *THAT* is a weekend.

Wow.  I don't even know how to begin to define my weekend.

Let's just say ... sometimes ... you might wish you were me.

Friday - drinks with friends and Sarah at a bar with hockey AND sound with a vegan lesbian roller-derby-girl bartender next to a guy from Detroit. Was fun until they took the lead with 97 seconds left.

Saturday - Slept in, then went to see a movie with Sarah, had dinner, proposed, she said yes, spent the next hour staring at her ring, and then we hit the bar that has 1,500 types of beer and packed a 10-pack of varied beer to take home and had a couple of nice drafts before retiring for the evening.

Sunday - Woke up smiling ... went to the Pittsburgh Pirates game with Sarah and Aidan. They won.  Yuengling on draft. I won. Sarah and Aidan got to run the bases after the game.  Got home to filter through about 300 messages of congrats from our friends on Facebook. 

We're all winners.

Friend FAQ questions ... answered

So one of the bajillion Facebook apps is this thing called Friend FAQ where they ask you random questions about the people in your friends list that you may or may not know the answer to.

Then they tell your friend that "Someone answered a question about you. Find out what they said." without telling you who.

Or what they said.

You can merely find out the question and the answer, unless you collect (or purchase) 'coins' to unlock the answers.

Well, since I don't care much for what the general public thinks of me, as they don't know me ... I was curious about what the people who do (or allege to) know me would think ... so I decided to grade the 18 questions asked about me, to date.  So here you go:

Do you think that Eric Broz is dumber than Jessica Simpson?     No 

Correct.  And big ups to whoever said that.  I'll buy you some sea chickens. 

Do you think that Eric Broz is socially awkward?     No

Correct ... and Wrong.  My take:  Split.  There are times I'm insanely socially awkward, mostly involving asking a woman I find attractive for her name, let alone a date.  Other times I'm the friendliest guy in the room.


Would Eric Broz make a good spouse?     Yes

My take:  Hey, maybe the third time's a charm.  Not going to count this as it's too subjective.


Do you think that Eric Broz has ever stolen money from their friends?     No

Correct. Money isn't a big issue with me.  As for lending money to friends ... if you give a friend $20 and you never see him, or it, again, it was probably worth it.


Is Eric Broz's profile picture cute?     Yes

Thanks. My daughter's a excellent photographer!  But I'm not grading this as it's subjective.  I will say it's a good photo, though!


Do you think that Eric Broz is lazy?     No

Wrong.  You've not seen me on weekends where I lay around, don't get dressed, and just scratch.


Do you think that Eric Broz has ever played beer pong?     Yes

Wrong.. I've played lots of other drinking games though.

Do you think that Eric Broz is hyper?     No

Correct ... although it really depends on the amount of Red Bull (mixed with Jagermeister) I've consumed.


Do you think that Eric Broz is a tree hugger?     No

Correct.  Let's face it ... I have a tattoo of Eric Cartman. He, like, me hates hippies.  Here's why:  "“Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play Frisbee!”


Do you think that Eric Broz has ever failed a class?     No

Wrong.  I have failed one class, twice  Statistics. Twice.  I changed my major to avoid taking Stats again.  Two plus two is ALWAYS four. Fuck your probability.


Do you think that Eric Broz is a good friend?     Yes

Awwww, thanks ... but I'm not grading this as it's subjective. While I like to believe I'm a better friend than boyfriend ... that's for someone else to grade.


Do you think that Eric Broz is cute?     Yes

Awwww, thanks again ... and again, I'm not grading this category as it's subjective.


Do you think that Eric Broz would look good in tights?     Yes

Wrong. As far as you know.  But if I did, they'd have to be pretty dark tights, and then it's a maybe at best. Sure, I have great legs, but they're hairy, and that never looks good in tights.

Do you think that Eric Broz has ever stolen from work?     No

Wrong.  I once NEARLY had to testify, in federal court, that I did, indeed steal from work.  It's a long story. I'll have to pull up what I wrote about it, when it happened, because it's rather funny, and yes, I would have had immunity to testify ... and it wasn't a big deal, really, just some copies (by some I mean about 2,000) and some enlargements (by some I mean about 100) when I worked for Kinko's. So it's not like I was dipping from the til or carting off computers.


Do you think that Eric Broz likes chick flicks?     Yes

Correct, dammit, now the secret's out.  Well, except for anything starring Michelle Phiffer (anyone see the steaming piles-of-shit "Story of Us" and "White Oleander" ever want to see her 'act' again? Me either.)  Oh, and anything with boiled horse-face Sarah Jessica Parker.  You know why she and Matthew Broderick had kids with a surragate?  His sperm are way too smart survive in that womb.  When they saw it wasn't tonsils, they hit the self-destruct button.


Do you think that Eric Broz has ever used steroids?     No

Wrong.  NO? he shouted in a Chris-Beniot-style ROID RAGE FIT ... WITH A BODY LIKE THIS? HELL YEAH I'VE HAD THE JUICE ... (Actually, seriously, I did. But it was for a brief time. And prescribed. To help heal.


Do you think that Eric Broz watches porn?     Yes

Correct!  As my ex-wife said to me once, when I asked, sarcastically, if there was porn on the internet ... "There's even some you haven't seen."


Do you think that Eric Broz can throw a football with a spiral?     Yes

Correct!  You're darn tootin' on that one. Like, every year, I sit around and wait to be drafted, but the phone call never comes.  I think it's the knees.  Not because I'm old and fat and stopped playing organized football after one year.  They just don't know talent.

Final Score:

7 Correct

6 Wrong

4 Not answered as they were subjective, not factual

1 That goes both ways because I am both sides of that question.

So ... better than expected, but there are things about me most of you don't know (such as the whole stealing from work thing and that I lay around and scratch myself sometimes on weekends.

No one can save us ... from Kim the waitress

A long time ago, in a galaxy not too far from where I live now, I had quite a rather funny and unexpected crush that was based kind of on a song that turned into a relationship that ended in one of those full-fledged WTF Just Happened story that somehow seems to populate my life.

After coming back from living in the Virgin Islands, I went back to the newspaper I was working for for a bit, then had a falling out with the new managing editor. Being young and stupid, it was entirely my fault. Long story short ... the boss is the boss for a reason. Listen to what she tells you. Do what she asks. Keep getting your paycheck. Wasn't illegal, immoral or ethically questionable, I was just being stupid.  And I got fired.

Which lead me to the world of Les Nessman ... I got into radio news.  My ex-wife had a job once where their receptionist referred to me as "The Voice" when I called, and lets be honest, I do have the perfect face for radio, and the nose of a news reporter who knows how to ask the hard questions, so I was ideally set for a fine career in radio.  But that's not the story here.

Being young and poor, I had two jobs and I worked weird hours ... was doing radio news from 5 a.m. to Noon, I'd have lunch, then go home and sleep for a bit.  Five nights a week I'd bartend from 7 p.m. to close (2:30), then clean the bar, hit Perkins for breakfast, go home, shower, change clothes and hit the radio station to start the cycle all over again. Apply, lather, rinse, repeat.  One of the places I used to go for lunch was this little deli in downtown Warren that featured old style move themes, with meals named after what they ate in classic films of the 30's and 40's ... Breakfast at Tiffany's was a meal that featured what they ate, they had Bogart and Bacall burgers, stuff like that.

And a really hot waitress named Kim.  

Who I was digging muchly.  Mostly because she was a hot blue-eyed redhead with a great rack and heart-shaped ass. And kinda because of a Material Issue song called "Kim The Waitress" from the Freak City Soundtrack that was a great album that was out about the time I first walked in there. But she had pursed lips and tender hips, and they were turning in my head, as the song goes.

I should have taken that as a warning.  I didn't. As Warren Zevon once said, "I went home with a waitress, they way I always do."  My first wife was a waitress when we were married, I'd dated a couple of waitresses or servers since we separated, and Kim was the last that was an actual waitress when we dated.  But anyway ... no one can save us from Kim the waitress, as the song goes, she always turns me on.

Anyway ... I'd always ask for her section and we always would talk about all sorts of things. She was smart.  And pretty. Oh so pretty. And that bothers me in places below the belt!  But I didn't think I stood a ghost of a chance with her.  All of which matched up to the song.  Especially the second verse: 

"Sometimes she comes with coffee
Leaning over, pouring
I'd like to gently pull her to me
Kiss her, with no warning
Seeing her some sunny Sunday morning"

Me being me, and the flirt, I kept talking to her, asking about her, what she did, what she liked, all the things that a guy does when flirting. And she'd flirt back.  If it was slow she's sit beside, me, not across from me.  And when she found out that I worked for the radio station around the corner, she said she listened every day.  People say they listen/watch/read to anyone who's on that air or in print, but it's a common courtesy ... most of the time it's pandering.  She started quoting me lines I'd used on the air.  Okay, I was impressed.  I figure I'll ask her out.  And I do.

So the day I finally asked her out, it was gangbusters. I asked her out, she said "how about this afternoon?"  I said sure. At 26 I could go a day or three without sleep to spend time with her. The deli was a breakfast/lunch only place, so they closed at 2 and she was done at 2:30.  So we talked. She got my number, I told her where I lived (it was above a business).  She said she knew where it was, and would come over after work.  She did. And started stripping as she walked in the room. It was mad monkey love for a couple of hours, then she got dressed, kissed me goodbye and said, "Let's do this again." No real first date ... no need to wine and dine her ... I'd show up for lunch, she'd just come over and we'd have sex.  At 42, I pick that vibe up right away ... but being 26, I was semi-clueless.

The only thing we ever did together in public was doing the Reading for the Blind ... it was  a community service thing she talked me into doing. We'd meet there and read the stories from the newspaper in a little studio that recorded them, put them on a phone bank for the blind to call in and listen.  Again, this was 1994, the internet wasn't all it is today.  That, lunchtime talks and sex was our entire 'relationship' ... and it was going on six or seven months.  But the sex was good, so I was happy and didn't look beyond the here and now.

Again, being 26, I never put any relevance to us never going out, no dinner, no movie.  She told me after the first time not to give her cards, or flowers, she didn't like them, and not to let on at work that we were an item as her boss didn't want the staff hooking up with customers because it was bad for business.

Yeah, again, all clues that today I'd say "Oh, well, I'm just a side project."  But I wasn't all that smart back then.  Until one day, about six or seven months after we first hooked up. I had a rare Saturday morning off from the radio station. So I went home after going out with friends (didn't bartend the Friday night shift, ever), woke up about 10 a.m., grabbed the newspaper, and headed over to a little diner for breakfast because they had killer omelets.  And I used to work there as a dishwasher, so I knew the family that ran it.  I thought about calling her

This was before cell phones were a commodity and readily available, back when the phone was something on the wall in your house, not in your pocket.  But she and I never really talked on the phone. She'd call me when she was home.  Said she was 'too busy' and I should just let her call me.

Again, all things I should have picked up on ... but didn't.

So, it's a nice sunny Saturday in May, I'm sitting at the diner reading the paper and enjoying both a fine cup of coffee and a Big Jack, I pause on the society section of the paper for some odd reason because a picture catches my eye.  I stare at it and realize that I'm reading my alleged girlfriend's and certified sex friend's engagement announcement.  How special.

I don't say anything on Monday when I see her for the Reading for the Blind.  But I do invited her over Tuesday ... she shows up about 2:40, gets naked, we're having sex, she has no ring on, so I let the day play out.  As we're done ... and she's getting dressed, I say, "Hey, I have something to show you."  And hand her the announcement. 

She looks me dead in the eye and says, "I never told you I had a boyfriend?"  I said, "No."  She then proceeds to tell me that they've been together for five years (she's 24), and he doesn't know anything about me.  She called sessions with me as "going to the gym" and he never questioned it.  She said she'd still like to come over because I was good in bed and fun to talk to.  While both of those are compliments, at 26, I wasn't looking for a sometimes sex thing ... I wanted it all.  So I ended it with her.  

The worst part ... I really missed the Bogart burger.

"Kim The Waitress" ~ Material Issue

Pursed lips and tender hips
Turning, in my head
Writing poems in a corner booth
That I'd die, if she read
Seeing her in but a silver cross
Lying on her bed

No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Nobody can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Always turns me on

Sometimes she comes with coffee
Leaning over, pouring
I'd like to gently pull her to me
Kiss her, with no warning
Seeing her some sunny Sunday morning

No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Nobody can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Always turns me on

She doesn't come around anymore
And that bothers me
And that bothers me
Yeah, it bothers me

Though I don't stand a ghost of a chance with her
She's pretty (and that bothers me)
So pretty (and that bothers me)
And it bothers me

No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
No one can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Nobody can save us
From Kim The Waitress
Always turns me down

No one can save us
No one can save us
Nobody can save us

Song of the Day - For Kurt Cobain

Disclaimer:  I was never a fan.  I don't really care what kind of feedback this gets, or who bitches and complains. My blog, my point of view.

At one point back in my troll days, I actually got the Nirvana board shut down (and my account cancelled) for startinga  huge flame wary by posting a parody of "All Apologies" with the PS:  It turns out he did have a gun, after all.

Here's what I wrote:

No Apologies - A Parody

What else could I do?
Blew my head in two
What else could I say?
Irrelevant anyway.
What else could I write?
It's all rather trite.
How else to be sure?
Assume room temperature.

On the porch
In the sun
I pulled out a shotgun
In the sun
In the sun
BLAM!
Now I'm Buried!

 

I wish I was like you
Still breathing too
You'll find more of my skull
Painted up there on the wall

I'll take all the blame
Could not handle the fame
Ran out of drugs and songs
One blast will right my wrongs

On the porch
In the sun
I pulled out a shotgun
In the sun
In the sun
BLAM!
Buried!

Now I'm buried
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

All I am is all worm food (repeat til fade)