2009-05-21

Reasons I hate TV #433

So in the rare event I watch TV, I tend to stick to live sporting events or stuff on the DVR so I can avoid the tripe that comes with flipping channels passing by what is passed off as entertainment or infotainment.

Like "The Cougar" ... the "hit" show on TVLand (wait, isn't that the network that plays Hogan's Heroes, and Gunsmoke, and M*A*S*H* and all those great classic shows? Yes, yes it is. Oh, and isn't that the network that's a spin-off of Nickelodeon, the kids' network? Yes, yes it is.) So WTF is this show? Oh, here's their short take:

Meet "The Cougar": Stacey, a beautiful, blonde mother of four from Arizona. As the star of TV Land PRIME's new reality competition dating series, Stacey -- who's a successful and determined real estate agent -- is eager to shatter dating stereotypes. She believes society has placed a double standard on women who date younger men and wants to prove that age is simply a number.

The average age of her Cubs, as they're called, is 24.8. Including one 23-year-old pool boy. Does this sound like a bad porn, or what? But pool boy didn't make the final four, however.

So why is a "successful and determined real estate agent" competing on some second-rate cable network that I wasn't even aware produced original shows for the love of a younger man? Again, I go to the website for that answer:

"Stacey's dating experiences have led her to believe that men her age and older live under the pressure of a "ticking clock" that dampens their spontaneity and zest for life. Her personal success is based upon upbeat optimism, and she believes that younger men have a similar spirited tempo, a demeanor that Stacey finds crucial for her future love interest to possess -- a love interest that she plans to find on The Cougar."

Oh, really?

Please. I dated woman younger than me who had the ticking clock thing and who were quite content with their decreased spontaneity and zeal for life. I've had my share of those types, too. So rather than settle, I keep looking.

But lets long-range-view this: On the RARE event she and her successful cub do get married (none of the 13 men who were The Bachelor married said bachelorette from their show; of the four completed series of The Bachelorette, one couple is married and has two kids; two were engaged but broke it off, one declined the proposal) .. what's the future going to hold? Let's just look at what she's setting up: in 15 years, she'll be 55, probably post-menopausal, less beautiful, and with a 40-year-old guy who's going to want the red convertible and arm candy.

And as she sits there on the couch wondering where did it all go wrong and where did he learn that from ...one of her grandkids shows her a rerun of the TV show where she picked him. Oh, yeah. Pot. Kettle. Black.

But anyway, that's not the purpose of this rant. The purpose is "What if this were reversed and a 40-year-old guy was on TV picking over 25-year-olds?"
The show would be called "The Pervert."

[and for the record, don't mention Rock of Love or whatever-the-hell-that-freak Flavor Flav and his car-grill of a mouth TV show was. Yes, I'm aware, they're both over 40 and were chasing the young women ... but the concept is significantly different. Flavor Flav and Brett Michaels are, for whatever reason, celebrities. Sure, C-level or D-level celebs, but both were famous (for reasons that go beyond me) and therefore have that certain level of reality-star-show-in-the-making lifestyle that lends itself to women wanting them for the status that comes with celebrity, regardless of how many years past their prime they are. Yeah, Boooooy.

[Stacey is just a regular, beautiful, successful, twice-divorce, mother of four who sells real estate. So prior to the show, she was just anyone else in the dating pool. ]

So again, you'd never see that kind of show on the air without NOW and other feminist groups picketing, Oprah beguiling it, The View skewering it and so forth. Because it is kind of a sick way to find someone. Especially with that much pressure and differences in life. Is a 25-year-old who's used to going out on a moment's notice going to want to settle for a 40-year-old with four kids and a busy career? And be happy? Unlikely. Especially after their circuit of fame on the infotainment shows and all the eye-candy he'll be paraded by and introduced to.

Which goes back to my original statement of why I watch little but sports and selected series on my DVR. TV sucks.

2009-05-20

Everyone's a twitterin' ...

But me.

I'm not against it. I'm just not into it.

But Ron Jeremy is. Well, part of him is.

Yep, the Hedgehog has a twitter.

And a blog.

Neither are safe for work. So you've been warned.

2009-05-09

Catching up ...

Yeah, I know ... I've been busy.

Between a lot of on-call shifts at work and the hockey playoffs and other non-computer-related activities, I've not been writing much lately. Most of it comes down to too many hours in front of the computer while working ... there are days I just want to finish work and not look at screen the rest of the night.

So ... with that being said, here's a quick catch-up:
  • Album I wasn't expecting to like as much as I do: "Length of Arms" by the Receiver.

  • Album I was expecting to like more than I do: "21st Century Breakdown" by Green Day.

  • Question you're asking yourself: "Hey, that doesn't come out until next week, right?
    Answer: Not where I shop.

  • Movie I liked a whole lot more than I thought I would: Star Trek (IMAX Version)

  • DVD I liked a whole lot more than I thought I would: Caprica (BSG Prequel)

  • Drink that didn't do anything for me: Absinthe ... was like drinking mouthwash

  • Evil trick played on fellow diners during Cinco de Mayo ... after 15 minutes of a 90 minute wait ... claiming to be a party who's name was called four times ... and telling the hostess it really wasn't us, but she sat us anyway.

  • Random Graduation Congrats: Matthew, Adam, Mandy, Kylee (in order of when we met!)

  • New CD I'm anticipating: The Clarks - Restless Days.

  • Concert I have tickets for and CAN'T GO: Wilco, June 12, Cincinnati ... cause I'll be out of town training. (for $90, which is what I paid, they can be yours. Lemme know or I'm eBaying them. Hey, I just verbed. Again.)

2009-04-08

Congrats, Blue Jackets, and Fans.

While I'm not a Blue Jackets fan, I have to say I am glad they made the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs this season, even if it came at the expense of my Chicago Blackhawks, via a shoot-out victory.

Columbus is a town of front-runners and bandwagon fans for anything NOT wearing the scarlet and grey ... as most major cities are. The Blue Jackets have their die-hard fans, and they always will ... but when they're winning, it seems like everyone in Columbus is Carrying The Flag.

And good for them. Everyone loves you when you win.

Besides, Chicago's going to the playoffs, too, for the first time in 11 years, mainly because Bill Wirtz finally died and his smarter, less greedy son realized just how bad his father had run the franchise into the ground and alienated his fan base. And Chicago has fallen back in love with their Blackhawks.

Hopefully this playoff run, the first in the Blue Jacket's eight years in the NHL, will get the casual fans in Columbus to fall in love ... or back in love ... with their Blue Jackets ... and create a whole lot more true fans who come along with them ... to stay.

So, despite my team losing tonight, why am I glad for the Blue Jackets?

Simply this: It's good for hockey. It's good for Columbus. And it's good for my friend Tom Reed, who covers the Blue Jackets for the Columbus Dispatch.

Oh, and it's also good for all the businesses and other entities that make money of big crowds downtown, out in bars for games, and celebrating the joy that comes with the thrill of victory ... I'm happy for them, too.

So yeah, congrats, Blue Jackets. And congrats, Blue Jackets Fans. You may boo and hiss at me for wearing my Blackhawks gear ... but I'll always be a fan. I hope, someday, after 32 years of cheering on your Blue Jackets, you'll still be a fan of your team, too.


2009-04-07

Kicked in the Ass by Mom

Mother Nature, that is.

So there's some stuff going on at work, nothing worth discussing except for changes to the on-call schedule that pretty much leave me working long hours (like most of my team), but being the guy on the firing line ... which I like.

Except, after a lovely 18-hour day, spent mainly sitting at my desk in front of my computer, I fall asleep, only to be kickd in the ass by Mother Nature.

Yep, it's April. That means April Showers. And, sometimes, as we had today, the occasional snow. Because sometimes, it snows in April, Christopher Tracy. (Obscure reference for both of you that a] read this, and b] get that. You're welcome.)

Oh, and for my people ... it's open season with the allergins.

I went to bed at 1:30 or so (hey, gotta watch my Comedy Central shows) only to wake up about an hour later and sneeze ... I'm guessing, and I might be using a loose estimate here ... I sneezed about thirteen billion times before I finally got a benedryl down my throat. (Okay, maybe it was only seven or eight ... but machine-gun style, they exponentially multiply. Wow. Now I've made a completely vague reference to stuff you'll never hear about [work], a math joke and randomly obscure pop culture reference. My work here is almost done.)

And the sleep for an hour / wake up sneezing for 10 minutes / sleep for an hour was the remainder of my night. Then the alarm at 7:50 and at work at 8. Cause I have such a long drive the days I work from home. Which, because I'm on call from 8 a.m. to Midnight all week, is every day this week.

And the weekend - even better. All weekend. Straight through. Happy Easter to me.

But I can't bitch. I have a job. I love my job. And I'm happy to have it.

Even when it sucks. And Mother Nature kicks me in the ass. The bitch.

2009-03-25

It's back ....

Gastritis, that is.

I decided I was going to try to step up taking my vitamins ... especially the B-series. Turns out B-12 kinda doesn't agree with me. The B-6 is good, but the B-12 ... not so much. There's an enzyme that's apparently NOT in my stomach since the gastric bypass surgery five years ago that breaks down the B-12 in most people so it doesn't irritate the lining of the stomach. Me, not so much.

But at least I know what's causing the pain and vomiting I've had since Sunday. And, that it will stop in a day or two.

I also know I won't like the bill when it comes ... stupid health insurance doesn't start until April 1st, because I started the new job February 2nd ... the insurance starts on the first day of your second full month ... so because of one day ... I'm gonna be stuck paying the price for an ER visit.

But after two days of having a fire in my stomach, and that's well worth any price.

2009-03-19

Kicked in the ass by Jesus


This was the text message I received last night while waiting for an old friend to show up for dinner last night:

"Are you having a margarita? If not, get the Jesus."

At the time, I was enjoying a nice frosted traditional margarita and decided to wait. When she showed up, she ordered the Jesus Margarita. It looked and tasted so much better than my traditional I had to have one.

Which became two.

Which is about when Jesus kicked my ass last night.

No, not *that guy* ... the Jesus Margarita at La Isla in Hermitage. After much discussion about what goes in them, it's a toss up between magic, heroin, or some really good tequila. I'm going with the really good tequila ... the gold stuff ... because damn.

Smooth and tasty. And strong.

Oh, and to the woman complaining that we were laughing too much and pushing back on the booth too hard and bothering her husband ... sorry you weren't having as much fun as we did.

2009-03-17

Youngstown Dispatches, Part 1.

There is something ... I can't quite put my finger on it ... but "something" about the phrase "Hey, we're doing Irish Car Bombs" that just makes one a joiner.

And it's even better when you're not paying.

I'm just saying.

2009-03-02

Song of the Day

U2 - Until The End Of The World

Haven't seen you for quite a while
I was down the hole just passing time
Last time we met was a low-lit room
We were as close together as a bride and groom
We ate the food, we drank the wine
Everybody having a good time
Except you
You were talking about the end of the world

I took the money
I spiked your drink
You miss too much these days if you stop to think
You lead me on with those innocent eyes
You know I love the element of surprise
In the garden I was playing the tart
I kissed your lips and broke your heart
You
You were acting like it was the end of the world

Love...love...love...love...love...love...
Love...love...love...love...love...love...
Love...love...love...love...

In my dream I was drowning my sorrows
But my sorrows, they learned to swim
Surrounding me, going down on me
Spilling over the brim
Waves of regret, waves of joy
I reached out for the one I tried to destroy
You, you said you'd wait till the end of the world.

2009-02-26

Oh noes ... Gays married. Burn them.

Because there's OBVIOUSLY nothing wrong with America today ... Ken Starr has found himself another witchhunt ... he wants to invalidate the 18,000 same-sex weddings that happened with same-sex marriage was legal in California. Here's the details, and a petition you can sign:

Have you heard that Ken Starr -- and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund -- filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and attempting to forcibly divorce 18,000 same-sex couples that were married in California last year? The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, with a decision expected within 90 days.

The Courage Campaign has created a video called "Fidelity," with the permission of musician Regina Spektor, that puts a face to those 18,000 couples and all loving, committed couples seeking full equality under the law.

Please watch this heartbreaking video now. If you have the same reaction that I did, please help me spread the word by sharing it with your friends and family ASAP:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/Divorce

The more people who see this video, the more people will understand the pain caused by Prop 8 and Ken Starr's shameful legal proceeding.

After you watch the video, please join me and over 300,000 people who have signed a letter to the state Supreme Court, asking them to invalidate Prop 8 and reject Starr's case.

2009-02-19

Song of the Day

Lonely Girl
~ Todd Snider

There you sit all by yourself
Trying to quit like everybody else
Cigarette smoke in your eyes
I see a few regrets in there too
Hey there lonely girl
Have I got a lonely boy for you

Like a sunny day somewhere else
The music plays but it don't help
Through the haze you roll your eyes
Every day I wonder what you see
Hey there lonely girl
I think you're the only girl for me

You're the only girl in this whole wide world
Only throw your pearls at me

Here I sit all by myself
Trying to quit something else
Cigarette smoke in my eyes
I've got a bunch of regrets too
Hey there lonely girl
Have I got a lonely boy for you


(I've been on quite the Todd Snider kick lately. That guy is great!)

2009-02-06

Dear Glasstop Computer Desk ...

Why did you break?

What did I do?

I left yesterday at 8:30 a.m. you were fine.

I go downstairs to make coffee and hear a CRASH.



And you were gone.

And all the stuff you had on you is on the floor.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

Now I have a ghetto desk.



(note to self. Friday evening, when you head out to buy a new computer desk, no glass top. Really.)